Personal body guards / chaperones

[Judas Maccabeus]

Both of you probably live in safe, wealthy neighbourhoods. t1 may be from a background that isn’t as upper class and wealthy.

I would not call our neighborhood "wealthy." I have moved near the church, I would call it urban middle class.

[Judas Maccabeus]

Situational awareness can go a long way here. Stay off the devices and pay attention

There are places I won't go in my fair city. It is not about race; our neighborhood is mixed race. It is about poverty, and some of the things it brings with it. (Single-parent homes, drop out from school) In any case, people who are perceived not to be carrying money around don't seem to get much attention. Many of us develop what you call situational awareness, as to if something simply is not right.

The favored targets? Hispanics, especially those perceived to be illegal, with poor language skills. They typically don't open bank accounts, so are carrying lots of cash. I have this on the authority of the JHU campus police. They used to be "public safety, and they came to the Chinese ministry periodically.

[JohnH]

Both of you probably live in safe, wealthy neighbourhoods. t1 may be from a background that isn’t as upper class and wealthy.

I would not call our neighborhood "wealthy." I have moved near the church, I would call it urban middle class.

What’s the average cost of a house?

[Judas Maccabeus]

Both of you probably live in safe, wealthy neighbourhoods. t1 may be from a background that isn’t as upper class and wealthy.

I would not call our neighborhood "wealthy." I have moved near the church, I would call it urban middle class.

What’s the average cost of a house?

range from 100,000 up. I just pointed a teacher at one that was <100K.

[JohnH]

I would not call our neighborhood "wealthy." I have moved near the church, I would call it urban middle class.

What’s the average cost of a house?

range from 100,000 up. I just pointed a teacher at one that was <100K.

I take it this isn't Hampden. I would, however, be very surprised at a sub-100K neighbourhood in Baltimore that isn't plagued with crime problems, although I suppose it's possible such a place does exist.

[Bootstrap]

my head is spinning over this.
my grdaughter begins a great internship in seattle monday.
her uncle and i have reservations about the light rail and/or bus - principally, being alone.
she+i just took a fun visit to practice the route last week.

the systems are great. wonderful.

Do you know where she gets on and off? Will she be traveling during daylight hours? I would be more concerned about Pioneer Square Station, for instance, than most stops.

Are you feeling like it's just too risky to ride Seattle light rail, or do you want her to know what to do to reduce her risk? I think the following can be helpful:

• Ride during the busiest commuting hours.
• Sit near other passengers.
• Stay aware of what’s going on around her.
• If someone is acting strangely or making her uncomfortable, move to another seat or another train car at the next stop.
• If something feels unsafe, get off at the next busy station and call a family member, friend, or rideshare.

How do she and her parents feel about your concerns?

[Judas Maccabeus]

What’s the average cost of a house?

range from 100,000 up. I just pointed a teacher at one that was <100K.

I take it this isn't Hampden. I would, however, be very surprised at a sub-100K neighbourhood in Baltimore that isn't plagued with crime problems, although I suppose it's possible such a place does exist.

I don't live in what the real estate people call Hampden. Try Woodberry, Medfield and Remington. I actually live in "Tuscany-Cantaberry." I can walk to church. These neighborhoods are small. Before the JFX was built Hampden and Woodberry were one. A good 2-3 bedroom row house in Medfield (where many of us live) can be had for mid 200s. A fixer upper can be upper 190s. I should know, I just bought a large condo. 285. Great place for older folks.

[temporal1]

A good question is what should happen when a violent person on drugs starts flipping out on the subway…
particularly when the weak and innocent like women and children are in danger

In my own life my solution was “drive a car and rent a parking spot”. It got stressful facing one of these situations every few weeks. For an example, some of these crazy people think you looked at them and then will come over and scream at you and start threatening you, like they are trying to start a fight

Complaining about Penny seems like looking at the wrong problem.
Deranged people on drugs should not be in public transportation.

I faced this last year on public transit...a homeless man made threatening statements to my two year old...we moved to the other side of the car. He lunged at us and I fled down the platform at the next stop. Won't be taking public transit anytime soon.

Iryna Z.
https://forum.mennonet.com/viewtopic.php?t=8294

Sheridan Gorman+

Why is no one getting the boot for the MANY unarmed, unsuspectng, victims of deliberate ambush+execute violence,
like SHERIDAN GORMAN, KATIE ABRAHAM, MEGAN BOS, just in Chicago?
P.24 / Chicago
https://forum.mennonet.com/viewtopic.ph ... &start=850

These “random” but targeted killings are not about rape or theft. They’re about hate.

- - - - - - -

In retrospect, i’m guessing if the grieving families could go back and hire a bodyguard or chaperone, they wouldn’t hesitate.
Some have adequate finances. Some might just “go with” their loved ones.

Hindsight is 20/20.

[temporal1]

my head is spinning over this.
my grdaughter begins a great internship in seattle monday.
her uncle and i have reservations about the light rail and/or bus - principally, being alone.
she+i just took a fun visit to practice the route last week.

the systems are great. wonderful.

Do you know where she gets on and off? Will she be traveling during daylight hours? I would be more concerned about Pioneer Square Station, for instance, than most stops.

Are you feeling like it's just too risky to ride Seattle light rail, or do you want her to know what to do to reduce her risk? I think the following can be helpful:

• Ride during the busiest commuting hours.
• Sit near other passengers.
• Stay aware of what’s going on around her.
• If someone is acting strangely or making her uncomfortable, move to another seat or another train car at the next stop.
• If something feels unsafe, get off at the next busy station and call a family member, friend, or rideshare.

How do she and her parents feel about your concerns?

i’m not ignoring you.
undecided wrt response.

the internship begins Monday.
everyone in my family is moving, my grdaughter is moving twice, now with her family, to college in a few weeks.

my timing, words, approach, need the wisdom of solomon.
i pray.

on the positive, this is not “new material” for any of us.
it’s a matter of how to best handle this particular moment. now.

as you described happened to you, the men in my family have experienced random unprovoked aggression.
no one in my family is poo-pooing reality.

there is a STRONG impulse to use the excellent transport system available, praying the unthinkable doesn’t happen. i get it. me too.
in my view, it’s Russian Roulette.

i’d rather lose a $100,000 diamond bracelet. any day of the week. every day of the week.

[Bootstrap]

i’m not ignoring you.
undecided wrt response.

the internship begins Monday.
everyone in my family is moving, my grdaughter is moving twice, now with her family, to college in a few weeks.

How does all that change feel to you?

my timing, words, approach, need the wisdom of solomon.
i pray.

on the positive, this is not “new material” for any of us.
it’s a matter of how to best handle this particular moment. now.

as you described happened to you, the men in my family have experienced random unprovoked aggression.
no one in my family is poo-pooing reality.

there is a STRONG impulse to use the excellent transport system available, praying the unthinkable doesn’t happen. i get it. me too.
in my view, it’s Russian Roulette.

i’d rather lose a $100,000 diamond bracelet. any day of the week. every day of the week.

Sounds like you keep thinking about the unthinkable, you want to protect her, and if it were up to you, she would not be riding light rail. And you are looking for ways to say that. But the decision is ultimately up to her, and she is getting different advice from different people. So you aren't really in control, you can't just tell her not to ride the light rail system.

What I write below has a lot to do with my experiences in my own family making decisions like when it was time for my mother to stop driving, then later, when it was no longer realistic for her to live alone. Important, emotional decisions where there was more than one opinion. It's not about your current decision, and the right approach might be very different for you or for this particular issue. But I would like to share it in case anything I say is helpful.

First off, praying for God's wisdom is real and important, not just for the words to say, but also to discern God's will in all of this as far as you can. I think you know that. In my experience, until I really let go of my own will and my own opinion, it's hard to hear what God is saying to me. So the first step for me is to give it up into his hands, trust him completely, and ask him to speak to me first, ask him to help me open my heart completely to whatever he has to say, ask him to point out any barriers I may have to hearing what he wants to say to me - and I often find that there are, that I have to work out these barriers in prayer, surrendering one at a time, until my heart is clear enough to listen.

I often like to hold up the various people involved in prayer too, as part of the discernment. This isn't just about finding the right answer - whether to ride light rail or not - it's also about the relationships, honoring all the people involved. Any decision made by a group, or by a person with advice from a group, is about the relationships as much as it is about the actual decision. Long after the decision has been made, people will have a sense of whether they felt listened to, honored, and cared for. Or perhaps the opposite.

After that, I would ask if God wants me to say anything in particular, and if so, to whom and how. It's easy to think that I already know what needs to be said, and I just want to know how to persuade everyone. But in real life, I'm mostly not in control, I am more likely to be listened to if everyone feels heard and respected, and I may not actually know what the right answer is.

This is hard for me, and it takes time. I often think I know the right answer very quickly, and I can be convinced that the whole world would be a whole lot better off if everyone just listened to me and did what I said. But it turns out that this world has only one savior, and it's not me. Often, when I ask God what to say and how, God isn't actually calling me to say much. I'm not in control, but God is. And God is better at these things than I am.

BUT

I am not saying that God does not want you to speak into this situation, and I am not questioning your opinion. That's between you and God. I am saying this: it pays to take plenty of undistracted time in prayer for this. It can strengthen your relationship with God and with everyone involved in the decision.