Personal body guards / chaperones

[Bootstrap]

Statistics are meaningless.
When it happens to you/your loved ones, it’s 100%.

i’m pretty sure other forum members have been victims, in addition to specific cases discussed on forum.

Also.
Being terrified of violent crime does NOT mean vengeance is desired! Not at all.

When i was attacked, i remember clearly wanting to GET AWAY! to BE SAFE, to be FREE.
Not a thought about hitting back or harming the attacker.

I have been beaten up on multiple occasions during my life, never raped. Never hospitalized or with serious injuries, but a few times with significant blood or bruises or whatever. I'm not saying this is the same thing you experienced at all, but I may have had a little taste of what you are talking about. I have also been threatened with knives, and once with a gun. Fortunately, those had happy endings.

Suggestion: I don't think you really want to discuss statistics or what the elites do to protect themselves, and if I comment on those things, I expect a negative reaction. That can feel like a trap to me. But I think the real issue for you is that you want to keep yourself and your family safe.

Are your daughter and grandchildren on the same page as you? How do conversations with them about these things go? What kind of environment do they live on, and where are you most concerned?

[Bootstrap]

I don't think you really want to discuss statistics or what the elites do to protect themselves, and if I comment on those things, I expect a negative reaction. That can feel like a trap to me. But I think the real issue for you is that you want to keep yourself and your family safe.

But I'm guessing. Here are themes you have raised. To me, #1 seems to be the most important to you, and the others become gradually less important as you go down the list. Did I get this right?

1. How to protect vulnerable loved ones from random violence.
2. Whether bodyguards or chaperones will become more common.
3. Whether society is becoming less safe overall.
4. The role of law enforcement in maintaining public safety.
5. Whether deterrence and prevention are better than responding after crimes occur.

Which of these would you say is the main subject of this thread? Where do you want us to focus? I think #3 tends to get into statistics, which you want to avoid. I think #4 and #5 get into politics, though I agree we should support police and that their role in establishing order is really important. To me, bodyguards really are something that mostly concerns the wealthy, that's not on my radar at all.

Are there further things you want to share about your personal experiences, or is that best for something other than an online forum? I tend to think broadcasting some things on a forum is unhelpful.

[Judas Maccabeus]

I'm sorry for the experiences you and your daughter had, I can't imagine what that was like for you.

Taking precautions makes sense, especially if you live in a place where crime is a significant concern. I wonder what the best ways are to determine what precautions make sense in a particular neighborhood. Perhaps asking the local police or the local schools?

I don't think the big picture is as bad as what you see in some Internet videos. Overall, crime rates went up with Covid, stayed high in 2021, and have dropped year over year every year since. Overall, violent crime rates are about 1/2 of what they were in the 1990s.

But good policing is important, and we have different problems in different places. In Durham, where I live, violent crime is down overall, but gun violence is up, and most of the victims are black. The police are not protecting their neighborhoods as well as other neighborhoods. So it's good to know what is going on locally if you want to know what to advocate for.

Average white guys are seldom targeted, as they know we never carry money. It is normally "black on black" here.

[JohnH]

Average white guys are seldom targeted, as they know we never carry money. It is normally "black on black" here.

That doesn’t explain temporal1’s situation. I’m not sure why we need to discuss race at all, actually.

Violent crime does happen to defenceless women, as t1 has explained, and quoting statistics doesn’t make it somehow not happen.

[Judas Maccabeus]

Average white guys are seldom targeted, as they know we never carry money. It is normally "black on black" here.

That doesn’t explain temporal1’s situation. I’m not sure why we need to discuss race at all, actually.

Violent crime does happen to defenceless women, as t1 has explained, and quoting statistics doesn’t make it somehow not happen.

With a large group of younger women that we interact with, over years, this is uncommon is one takes common sense precautions. Maybe our urban neighborhood is safer than most, but it is not the problem the internet seems to suggest. I know only one person in our larger circle who has been robbed. It is just not the problem some seem to think. But hey, I only actually live here.

[barnhart]

With a large group of younger women that we interact with, over years, this is uncommon is one takes common sense precautions. Maybe our urban neighborhood is safer than most, but it is not the problem the internet seems to suggest. I know only one person in our larger circle who has been robbed. It is just not the problem some seem to think. But hey, I only actually live here.

My daughters and their friends walk around the neighborhood at will up to about 11pm. Then they go in pairs.

[JohnH]

Both of you probably live in safe, wealthy neighbourhoods. t1 may be from a background that isn’t as upper class and wealthy.

[temporal1]

[quote= duplicate

[temporal1]

Average white guys are seldom targeted, as they know we never carry money. It is normally "black on black" here.

That doesn’t explain temporal1’s situation. I’m not sure why we need to discuss race at all, actually.

Violent crime does happen to defenceless women, as t1 has explained, and quoting statistics doesn’t make it somehow not happen.

my head is spinning over this.
my grdaughter begins a great internship in seattle monday.
her uncle and i have reservations about the light rail and/or bus - principally, being alone.
she+i just took a fun visit to practice the route last week.

the systems are great. wonderful.

random assaults on defenseless victims are the worry.
i see how men look at her, honestly, they can’t help it, everyone notices a pretty girl. the more modest, the more attractive.
she is modest and kind.

it’s impossible to know intent. “what’s in their minds?” their pockets?

both my son and her father have experienced enough aggression on public transportation they won’t use it.
they don’t tell me details.

so, strong adult men avoid public transit, but we’ll put a young girl on it?! sorry. that’s not mathin’ for me. or them.

- - - - - - -

about race.
1) i was attacked from behind, he wore a ski mask. it was newly dark. i’ve never known his description.
2) my daughter was attacked+raped at a university party, football player, she refuses to talk about it, report it.
i have no idea his description. i believe she knows exactly who it was, name+description. i don’t press it. i understand the pain.

come to think of it, i have no description for perps for any of the crimes i’ve experienced. they were gone by the time i knew.
no one ever caught. no photos, no witnesses. plenty of evidence!

living south of Chicago, i’m quite aware of the under reported tragedy of black on black violence.

i believe the answer to that may be happening now, with so many conservative black leaders and everyday young men promoting traditional families, personal responsibility, and faith. i pray they are incredibly successful. laws alone aren’t enough.

anyway.
as boot describes above, boys+men are also targets.
we raised our daughter+son to be aware. when i was young, boys were mostly considered safe to go and do on their own.
later, not so much. recently, young women seem specially targeted - just for existing. for their skin color.
not for robbery or rape, just random violence, knives, guns. death. bragging rights.

It’s certainly not PC to describe it.
Valerie has mentioned Angel families now+then. That’s part of it.

To repeat, when it’s you or your loved one, it’s 100%.

[the-real-steve]

Situational awareness can go a long way here. Stay off the devices and pay attention