I think it is funny

[Joy]

A little stay-at-home humor:

Anyone else's car getting 3 weeks to the gallon at the moment?

After several days at home I have determined what I really need to do is start social distancing myself from my refrigerator.

Pigeons probably think we're extinct.

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood. Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions.

I'm so bored I went outside to knock on my own door; then came back in and said, "Who is it?"

Dear Parents, that's so weird that your child isn't doing what you ask them to do at home. They never do that at School.
Sincerely,
Teachers who tried to tell you

​After spending a solid two weeks with no one but myself I'm starting to narrow down the source of many of my problems and you're not going to believe this--

Pastors in 2010-- "Facebook is from the devil."
​Pastors in 2020-- "Follow our FB Live Services."

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter. . .the living room or the bedroom.

Becoming skinny this summer is cancelled. Pass me that cupcake. Hello, My 600 Pound Life.

​I wonder if I throw a roll of toilet paper out in the middle of the Walmart parking lot, if people will attack it like seagulls fighting over French fries.

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house, but lacking the time. . .this week I discovered that wasn't the reason.

[Robert]

This is what will make Congress vote to reopen the country for sure.

[Robert]

So me. Hobbes, of course. Not Calvin this time.

[Fidelio]

It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local Businesses around our Town......

The Specialist in Submersibles, has gone Under,

The Manufacturer of Food Blenders has gone into Liquidation,

A Dog Kennel has had to call in the Retrievers,

The suppliers of Paper for Origami enthusiasts has Folded,

The Heinz factory has been Canned, as they couldn't Ketchup with orders,

The Tarmac Laying company has reached the end of the Road,

The Ice Cream factory says their customers have all Melted away,

The Barber says he just can’t Cut It,

The Bread company has run out of Dough,

The Clock manufacturer has had to Wind Down and gone Cuckoo,

The Shoe Shop owner has had to put his Foot Down and given his Staff the Boot.

And finally the Laundrette, has been taken to the Cleaners.

[Robert]

[Robert]

[MaxPC]

[Fidelio]

An Elephant Walks into a bar as I was playing a sentimental tune on the piano.
The elephant stands there, staring at the piano, crying it's eyes out.
I asked "Do you recognize the tune?"
The Elephant replied "No, I recognize the keys"

[Fidelio]

[Fidelio]