Resources for learning about, healing from and preventing sexual abuse

[Aurien]

I thought this would be a good topic in light of the conversations regarding Jeriah Mast and how Anabaptist churches and organizations handle sexual abuse. This topic is for books, articles, websites and other resources for learning about, preventing, or healing from sexual abuse. Please also feel free to share resources for teaching children and teens about sex in a healthy way as well any resources to teach children about "good touch" and "bad touch."

The list I'm posting from A Better Way is mostly resources by non-Anabaptists. Some of the resources are secular and I know the website rainn.org is a proponent of things like LGBTQ. I've gone to the RAINN website several times in the past and they do have some good information on sexual abuse though so please don't write it off completely.
I would recommend that those in positions of leadership and those looking for help in dealing with abuse in churches and organizations start by reading Tear Down This Wall of Silence. You may not agree with everything in this book but it looks like a good place to start.



https://www.abetterway.org/resources


ETA: this list isn't limited to resources about child sexual abuse. It can also include resources for adults who have experienced sexual abuse like rape (including spousal rape), or any other sexual act that they were made to perform without their consent.

[Aurien]

These are links that I've saved over the years because I find them helpful.

1. http://ifca.org/home/140001498/14000322 ... =140003224

2. http://ifca.org/home/140001498/14000322 ... =140003224

3. http://www.csom.org/pubs/familyreunificationdec05.pdf

4. https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition ... he-church/

5. https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition ... -or-abuse/

6. https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition ... abuser.pdf

I'm going to recommend the following article but with a caution regarding lesson #5.
7. https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition ... ual-abuse/

In his excellent book, Putting Your Past in its Place, Steve Viars speaks of how when we are sinned against we can either respond righteously or unrighteously. While the predator has the far greater sin, the victim may be guilty of responding sinfully to what has happened to her. Some victims fail to cry out. Some victims, after initial resistance, become willing participants in sexual sin. The victim needs to understand that she has, like Bathsheba and Tamar, been sinned against by a person who abused his position of power. She may also need to confess her own sin to God and to others who have been affected by her sin. A young woman who had been victimized by the predator when she was still a minor continued in a sinful relationship with this man for over ten years. God gave her grace to repent of her failure to expose the sins of this well-known Christian leader and of her own sexual sin. She is now receiving godly counsel and appears to be walking with the Lord.

Some victims fail to cry out because they're children or they don't have the mental capacity to understand what is happening to them. All to frequently the offender may threaten them to keep them from telling about the abuse. Things like actual physical threats of harm or telling the child that if they tell about the abuse that all kinds of bad things will happen and it will be all the child's fault. As far as "willing participants" I'm not sure exactly what he means here. If a child begins to be abused at a young age their view of sexuality may be so warped that they start seeking out sexual contact with their abuser thinking that this is a normal thing to do. Or he could be referring to the victims who passively let the abuser commit the sexual acts with them because they don't know what else to do. So instead of resisting they lay there and let the abuser do what he/she wants hoping that it will all be over quickly and the abuser will go away.
There are many sinful responses that we develop in response to sexual abuse but let's be careful to not hastily judge why the victim didn't cry out or appeared to willingly engage in the sexual abuse.

This next link is the first in a series of blog posts written by Trudy Metzger. Rather than post links to all of them I'm just going to post the first link. At the bottom of the link you can click on "Next Article" to continue reading the series.
8. https://splash4ripples.com/2012/07/11/s ... roduction/

9. https://www.gotquestions.org/sexual-abuse.html

10. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/ ... ngberg.pdf

11. https://www.compellingtruth.org/child-abuse.html

12. https://www.patreon.com/posts/25287330? ... uoEXh1y2Ig

13. https://mcc.org/sites/mcc.org/files/med ... useeng.pdf

14. https://themennonite.org/feature/sexual ... -contexts/

[Bootstrap]

Aslan's first post points to this book: Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused

It's free as a Kindle book, and only $4.99 as a paperback. Or you can read it as a PDF here - the PDF is better formatted than the Kindle:

https://churchcares.com/assets/download ... hCares.pdf

Table of Contents:

PART ONE
Key Concepts for Pastors and Ministry Leaders
Lesson 1 – Ministry Context: The Church’s Response to Abuse Is Grounded in the Gospel
Lesson 2 – Ministry Tension: Matthew 18 Complements (Doesn’t Compete with) Romans 13
Lesson 3 – Ministry Responsibilities: Abuse Against a Minor vs. Abuse Against an Adult
Lesson 4 – Ministry Partners: Awareness of Key Professionals in Victim Advocate Roles

PART TWO
Key Responses from Pastors and Ministry Leaders
Lesson 5 – Key Responses to Sexual Abuse
Lesson 6 – Key Responses to Physical Abuse
Lesson 7 – What Happens When You Call CPS? Don’t Avoid What You Don’t Understand
Lesson 8 – Non-Criminal Forms of Abuse (Verbal and Emotional)
Lesson 9 – Pastoral Care After Reporting: Reporting Is Not a Ministerial Hand Off
Lesson 10 – Pastoral Care and Correction for an Abuser
Lesson 11 – Response to Abuse by a Church Leader
Lesson 12 – Seven Next Steps after this Training

Appendix A
Mandatory reporting of child abuse, statute of limitations for criminal acts of abuse, and age of consent laws

Appendix B
Which leaders in our church or ministry need to review each lesson?

It is also linked to this website, which has free web-based instruction:

https://churchcares.com

About the training curriculum
We believe every church must be equipped to respond well in the initial stages of learning about instances of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. That is why we created Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused. This training curriculum of a handbook, an introductory video, and 12 lesson videos brings together top experts from various fields to help leaders understand and implement the best practices for handling the variety of abuse scenarios at church, school, or ministry.

The most comprehensive training is experienced by using the handbook and videos together.

This is being used in Southern Baptist churches. At first blush, it looks like it might be quite good.

[Aurien]

Aslan's first post points to this book: Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused

It's free as a Kindle book, and only $4.99 as a paperback. Or you can read it as a PDF here - the PDF is better formatted than the Kindle:

https://churchcares.com/assets/download ... hCares.pdf

Table of Contents:

PART ONE
Key Concepts for Pastors and Ministry Leaders
Lesson 1 – Ministry Context: The Church’s Response to Abuse Is Grounded in the Gospel
Lesson 2 – Ministry Tension: Matthew 18 Complements (Doesn’t Compete with) Romans 13
Lesson 3 – Ministry Responsibilities: Abuse Against a Minor vs. Abuse Against an Adult
Lesson 4 – Ministry Partners: Awareness of Key Professionals in Victim Advocate Roles

PART TWO
Key Responses from Pastors and Ministry Leaders
Lesson 5 – Key Responses to Sexual Abuse
Lesson 6 – Key Responses to Physical Abuse
Lesson 7 – What Happens When You Call CPS? Don’t Avoid What You Don’t Understand
Lesson 8 – Non-Criminal Forms of Abuse (Verbal and Emotional)
Lesson 9 – Pastoral Care After Reporting: Reporting Is Not a Ministerial Hand Off
Lesson 10 – Pastoral Care and Correction for an Abuser
Lesson 11 – Response to Abuse by a Church Leader
Lesson 12 – Seven Next Steps after this Training

Appendix A
Mandatory reporting of child abuse, statute of limitations for criminal acts of abuse, and age of consent laws

Appendix B
Which leaders in our church or ministry need to review each lesson?

It is also linked to this website, which has free web-based instruction:

https://churchcares.com

About the training curriculum
We believe every church must be equipped to respond well in the initial stages of learning about instances of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. That is why we created Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused. This training curriculum of a handbook, an introductory video, and 12 lesson videos brings together top experts from various fields to help leaders understand and implement the best practices for handling the variety of abuse scenarios at church, school, or ministry.

The most comprehensive training is experienced by using the handbook and videos together.

This is being used in Southern Baptist churches. At first blush, it looks like it might be quite good.

Thanks for posting this. I got it for free on my Kindle and didn't realize it was available as a PDF as well.