Nobody wise enough to judge?

Christian ethics and theology with an Anabaptist perspective
Post Reply
Bootstrap

Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by Bootstrap »

Despite the title, I don't say this to shame any particular branch of Christianity or any particular ministry. But if Paul were writing to our church today, I think he would have to say this:
If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers!
If we were executing the kind of Christian leadership that we should be, we would not need as much oversight from external courts or secular media and social media. Yet here we are, very much in need of these things. Not just one denomination or ministry, but most of them.

In the ministry I am involved with, we are required to sign a statement saying we will report any indication of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or psychological abuse to a team that has been set up to handle these kinds of situations. Every member of the ministry is required to take training that is very eye-opening. For instance, they tell us about anonymized instances of problems that have actually occurred, including stories of successful interventions. They tell us about times that people failed to intervene when they should have. They tell us about how both lives and ministries have been destroyed because they did not. In this ministry, our response also involves following the law, which generally requires reporting such incidents to the local authorities.

This is not easy. It doesn't happen naturally. Let's face it, most of us would not know how to deal with this kind of situation, and most ministries and churches are learning as they go. Often, the same people who are abusive are also doing really good things in other areas and are liked and trusted by others. Often, people are worried that reporting abuse will stain their work and their ministry. It's important to report, but it's also very hard, and when we report, there has to be a good way to do that in confidence that it will be handled well. For many churches and ministries, having a team that is trained to deal with this issue is probably a really good idea. Less damage is done to victims and to ministries when these problems are caught and dealt with early.

From what I have learned, many instances of abuse involve underage perpetrators who learned about sex from porn and are trying to act out what they have learned. These are also important, with real victims, and they can also destroy ministries even though the perpetrators are "only children".

Until recently, very few ministries had useful plans for dealing with this. But every church and every ministry must be "wise enough to judge a dispute between believers". And that requires having a plan, teaching that plan to people in the ministry, and making sure everyone understands how serious this is. For most churches and ministries, having someone "wise enough to judge" requires a team committed to acquiring both knowledge and wisdom, learning from other churches and ministries, committed to protecting victims and finding healing for them.
0 x
steve-in-kville

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by steve-in-kville »

The reason this issue with CAM is so near and dear is because I can't stand cover-ups! I was hurt pretty bad by a church and for years I was made to feel like I deserved it and had it coming to me. Gas-lighting they call it. There were so many other victims in that church that had been abused, one way or another, and to this day the ministry denies anything took place!
0 x
Bootstrap

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by Bootstrap »

steve-in-kville wrote:The reason this issue with CAM is so near and dear is because I can't stand cover-ups! I was hurt pretty bad by a church and for years I was made to feel like I deserved it and had it coming to me. Gas-lighting they call it. There were so many other victims in that church that had been abused, one way or another, and to this day the ministry denies anything took place!
If everyone is properly trained, then that inner voice that says "I could never report John, look at all the good he does, and everyone loves him!" is balanced by the inner voice that says "I can't ignore the possibility that someone is being seriously victimized because I do not speak up" and "our ministry can be trashed if we tolerate this kind of unrighteousness while saying we promote righteousness".

If we are focused on ministering and caring for others, we have to give up that instinct to protect our own at all costs, no matter they do and no matter what it means to others. And that's hard. If I report John, bad things really could happen to John, and it might not look good for our ministry. But if I don't, it doesn't get better with time.

That's why it's so helpful to have a team to report to, someone who knows more than I do about how to handle this in wisdom and love, who deals with this kind of problem often enough to have experience and perspective, a team that is also devoted to the ministry and its service.
0 x
temporal1

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by temporal1 »

steve-in-kville wrote:The reason this issue with CAM is so near and dear is because I can't stand cover-ups! I was hurt pretty bad by a church and for years I was made to feel like I deserved it and had it coming to me. Gas-lighting they call it. There were so many other victims in that church that had been abused, one way or another, and to this day the ministry denies anything took place!
(It appears to me) the real game changer in this is the internet.

Before, in all of history, authority figures, whether in homes, churches, schools, law enforcement, the community, no matter - they all had the advantage. The internet shakes that up.

The entire problem remains a work in progress, but the internet has opened new doors.
We will see how it works out.
0 x
Bootstrap

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by Bootstrap »

temporal1 wrote:Before, in all of history, authority figures, whether in homes, churches, schools, law enforcement, the community, no matter - they all had the advantage. The internet shakes that up.
The internet and the cell phone. Now it is easier for someone to seek help anonymously, easier to find allies who can make sure these concerns are not silenced, and easier to gather evidence of a crime. That's all good.

It's also easier for abuse, real or imagined, to go viral and for everyone to have an opinion about it. And sadly, there are always people willing to trash real victims on the Internet, insisting that nothing happened, bullying them for being victims. It's easy to revictimize people on the Internet, bullying and hounding them. We don't want to participate in that either. Let's not be gossips and busybodies.

We need to take the possibility of false accusations seriously too. We don't want to empower that by participating in false accusations, repeating gossip. The same team that knows how to deal with real instances of sexual abuse may also learn how to deal with false accusations. These days, you need that.
0 x
Josh

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by Josh »

We need to take the possibility of false accusations seriously too. We don't want to empower that by participating in false accusations, repeating gossip. The same team that knows how to deal with real instances of sexual abuse may also learn how to deal with false accusations. These days, you need that.
Well said. That’s why trained experts are needed. Metzger is an example of a trained expert in this area, but more are needed.
0 x
steve-in-kville

Re: Nobody wise enough to judge?

Post by steve-in-kville »

Bootstrap wrote: We need to take the possibility of false accusations seriously too. We don't want to empower that by participating in false accusations, repeating gossip. The same team that knows how to deal with real instances of sexual abuse may also learn how to deal with false accusations. These days, you need that.
I really feel bad for child services workers. In our area, only 1 in 5 complaints are legit. The others are false complaints, intentional or not. Many times they never can help those in real trouble because they are too busy chasing their tail.
0 x
Post Reply