Bootstrap wrote:Complaining that people continue to discuss on a discussion board is like complaining that people continue to eat in a restaurant.
That always annoys me, the eating, not the complaining.
My first degree was in Audiology and Speech, and I had a class in the anatomy needed for my major. The professor started talking about how the same organs are used for speaking and eating, then looked at us and said that we just aren't designed to eat and speak at the same time, so it's completely weird that we treat meals as a time to talk.
We all laughed. Until we realized he was serious and didn't believe in conversation at meals.
Bootstrap wrote:
We all laughed. Until we realized he was serious and didn't believe in conversation at meals.
Talking while we eat is all about community. One does not eat with an enemy or a threat. When we eat, we also release enzymes and endorphins. We can actually bond while we eat. So it is physically hard to talk with our mouth full, when we do it, it can build relationships. Seldom do we give food or share food with an enemy. Sometimes actions speak as loud as words and whne both are done at the same time, it really has impact. SO FEED ME!!
0 x
Try hard not to offend. Try harder not to be offended.
I think I am funnier than I really am.
Bootstrap wrote:
We all laughed. Until we realized he was serious and didn't believe in conversation at meals.
Talking while we eat is all about community. One does not eat with an enemy or a threat. When we eat, we also release enzymes and endorphins. We can actually bond while we eat. So it is physically hard to talk with our mouth full, when we do it, it can build relationships. Seldom do we give food or share food with an enemy. Sometimes actions speak as loud as words and whne both are done at the same time, it really has impact. SO FEED ME!!
I am a slow eater (extremely so, according to some), and in college would often talk with up to 3 different groups of people, as they all ate & ran. Meal time has always been a social time for me. If I must eat alone, I eat very little, because there's no reason to keep sitting there if no one else is around. I guess that's why it bothers me so much when people pull out their cell phones at the table.
appleman2006 wrote:Quote
"I don't think forgiveness is conditional to the person asking for it. Correct me if I'm wrong."'
I tend to agree. However having a good two way long term relationship with someone that has hurt you but does not acknowledge his wrong and ask for forgiveness will be impossible. It does take two people willing to engage to have a relationship.
Blaming the person that has been hurt for a lack of an ongoing relationship when the hurting person has shown no sense of remorse is a horrible form of abuse.
We should always be willing to forgive. Of that there can be no debate. And I believe we can get to the place in our lives where we can honestly totally forgive someone that totally hates us or has severely harmed us. In fact I think we must as Christians. But that still does not mean that we will automatically have a close relationship or even any relationship with that unrepentant person.
Christ is our example in that. He is always ready to forgive. He offers that unconditionally. But unless we desire to have a relationship with him and are truly sorry there will be no relationship and we will never benefit from that forgiveness.
I punched the heart on this post, but I do have one difference - I am not aware of any Scripture which instructs us to ask for forgiveness from someone we have wronged. It DOES instruct us to confess our sins, and instructs us to forgive the one who has wronged US. I think that asking for forgiveness is selfish. Forgiveness is something I want from the person I have already wronged - it makes me feel better. But does it help the other person? I think that forgiveness is something that should be freely offered, and asking for it just seems to create pressure for the person to say "I forgive you", often w/o giving them the time to work through it, or to see that we are actually sorry, and repentant.
appleman2006 wrote:Quote
"I don't think forgiveness is conditional to the person asking for it. Correct me if I'm wrong."'
I tend to agree. However having a good two way long term relationship with someone that has hurt you but does not acknowledge his wrong and ask for forgiveness will be impossible. It does take two people willing to engage to have a relationship.
Blaming the person that has been hurt for a lack of an ongoing relationship when the hurting person has shown no sense of remorse is a horrible form of abuse.
We should always be willing to forgive. Of that there can be no debate. And I believe we can get to the place in our lives where we can honestly totally forgive someone that totally hates us or has severely harmed us. In fact I think we must as Christians. But that still does not mean that we will automatically have a close relationship or even any relationship with that unrepentant person.
Christ is our example in that. He is always ready to forgive. He offers that unconditionally. But unless we desire to have a relationship with him and are truly sorry there will be no relationship and we will never benefit from that forgiveness.
I punched the heart on this post, but I do have one difference - I am not aware of any Scripture which instructs us to ask for forgiveness from someone we have wronged. It DOES instruct us to confess our sins, and instructs us to forgive the one who has wronged US. I think that asking for forgiveness is selfish. Forgiveness is something I want from the person I have already wronged - it makes me feel better. But does it help the other person? I think that forgiveness is something that should be freely offered, and asking for it just seems to create pressure for the person to say "I forgive you", often w/o giving them the time to work through it, or to see that we are actually sorry, and repentant.
appleman2006 wrote:Quote
"I don't think forgiveness is conditional to the person asking for it. Correct me if I'm wrong."'
I tend to agree. However having a good two way long term relationship with someone that has hurt you but does not acknowledge his wrong and ask for forgiveness will be impossible. It does take two people willing to engage to have a relationship.
Blaming the person that has been hurt for a lack of an ongoing relationship when the hurting person has shown no sense of remorse is a horrible form of abuse.
We should always be willing to forgive. Of that there can be no debate. And I believe we can get to the place in our lives where we can honestly totally forgive someone that totally hates us or has severely harmed us. In fact I think we must as Christians. But that still does not mean that we will automatically have a close relationship or even any relationship with that unrepentant person.
Christ is our example in that. He is always ready to forgive. He offers that unconditionally. But unless we desire to have a relationship with him and are truly sorry there will be no relationship and we will never benefit from that forgiveness.
I punched the heart on this post, but I do have one difference - I am not aware of any Scripture which instructs us to ask for forgiveness from someone we have wronged. It DOES instruct us to confess our sins, and instructs us to forgive the one who has wronged US. I think that asking for forgiveness is selfish. Forgiveness is something I want from the person I have already wronged - it makes me feel better. But does it help the other person? I think that forgiveness is something that should be freely offered, and asking for it just seems to create pressure for the person to say "I forgive you", often w/o giving them the time to work through it, or to see that we are actually sorry, and repentant.
This is somehow the first time I’ve heard this, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Thanks.
Robert wrote:.. Talking while we eat is all about community.
One does not eat with an enemy or a threat. When we eat, we also release enzymes and endorphins. We can actually bond while we eat. So it is physically hard to talk with our mouth full, when we do it, it can build relationships. Seldom do we give food or share food with an enemy.
Sometimes actions speak as loud as words and [when] both are done at the same time, it really has impact. SO FEED ME!!
appleman2006 wrote:
Blaming the person that has been hurt for a lack of an ongoing relationship when the hurting person has shown no sense of remorse is a horrible form of abuse.
We should always be willing to forgive. Of that there can be no debate. And I believe we can get to the place in our lives where we can honestly totally forgive someone that totally hates us or has severely harmed us. In fact I think we must as Christians. But that still does not mean that we will automatically have a close relationship or even any relationship with that unrepentant person.
Christ is our example in that. He is always ready to forgive. He offers that unconditionally. But unless we desire to have a relationship with him and are truly sorry there will be no relationship and we will never benefit from that forgiveness.
I punched the heart on this post, but I do have one difference - I am not aware of any Scripture which instructs us to ask for forgiveness from someone we have wronged. It DOES instruct us to confess our sins, and instructs us to forgive the one who has wronged US. I think that asking for forgiveness is selfish. Forgiveness is something I want from the person I have already wronged - it makes me feel better. But does it help the other person? I think that forgiveness is something that should be freely offered, and asking for it just seems to create pressure for the person to say "I forgive you", often w/o giving them the time to work through it, or to see that we are actually sorry, and repentant.
I feel these two thoughts do resonate with each other. Appleman is talking about a relationship between the two parties and you're talking about a similar dynamic yet from the perspective of each individual. YMMV.
