Anthony wrote: ↑Sat Sep 19, 2026 7:40 am
I find it amusing that all of this advice is ways for a father to gatekeep his daughter and potentially throw cold water over a budding romance.
Im not a father but potential advice id appreciate coming from the young man perspective is explaining what she does or doesnt like, her personality, and any issues she might have. I would find it lame if a dad told me something like “now you can break off the relationship with my daughter any time you want!” Yeah i know i can, thanks for the “advice”.
Well, at least in plain circles, a lot of daughters (and sons) go to their parents and ask them for advice and will, of their own free will, choose to follow it.
Here are some activities I found enjoyable or have observed other couples do:
1. Attempt to get invitations to other people's houses for supper. Then the dating/courting couple (we'll call them the DCC for short) meet there and enjoy visiting the host family - and enjoy visiting each other. Many hosts appreciate the opportunity.
2. If the DCC doesn't live nearby, the young man might take a trip and bring a friend along. Since airports (especially ones with cheap tickets) tend to be a few hours away, the young lady will bring another friend to go pick him up. Now there is a set of chaperones, and it is customary to go tour (or "sightseeing", as plain people might say) the nearest city, or cities on the route back home. Generally speaking, things to see are food trucks, parts of town with high concentrations of coffeehouses and independent restaurants, museums, botanical gardens, zoos, and so forth.
3. It has been observed that sometimes the chaperones end up having a budding romance as well. Fortunately, the DCC can also function as "reverse chaperones".
4.Go on walks in local parks. Nearly everywhere has excellent park systems, state forest, national forest, a lake, etc. if you look hard enough, often with some longer trails. The chaperones might grow weary of the long walk and decide to sit for a while whilst the couple goes on a longer walk and chats with each other.
5. Engage in telephone calls (whether local or long-distance). Back in the day, younger brothers and sisters (or older ones) might be listening on another receiver; nowadays, there is a bit more privacy, but everyone will be observing when their brother or sister suddenly goes outside or goes and sits in their car.
6. If the DCC is local, take a road trip to see a relative.
7. Attend youth-group activities together. In some circles, the young man might pick up the young lady for a ride, given a 10 minute drive by themselves is not a cause for much concern. If they don't both attend the same church, the DCC might try attending all of the youth activites at each other's churches, which could fill up the calendar.
8. If the DCC is local, visit each other's families and participate in whatever their family is doing. For example, one family is really into making apple cider or producing maple syrup. It is interesting how a young man or young lady suddenly will have much more interest in participating in that if it's at their potential future in-laws.
9. (Perhaps more appropriate for engaged couples) Visit stores like Crate & Barrel and have fun picking out things to stock a new home with. For some reason in my own church circles, it's customary to pick out a set of dishes.
10. Find other people's weddings to attend together. Usually, between the young lady and young man, there will be at least some wedding going on. This may also provide an excuse for a trip plus the chaperones.
11. Attend various conferences/activities like a song writer's workshop or a music camp together. Depending on the state of the relationship, perhaps the DCC and the chaperones will try to keep it "secret".
12. Attend Kingdom Fellowship Weekend together. Traditionally, this event existed for young people to meet each other, but also existed so that a young couple could have a chance to see each other, possibly when their relationship was otherwise not "public knowledge". As of 2022, you could still observe this going on if you kept your eyes open.
13. Write a song together and practice it together.
14. Try to stir up the youth groups to do more activities (maybe even a joint activity with 2 youth groups) on a project like replacing someone's roof or a volunteer project at a nursing home (if the opportunities for that exist), thus affording the DCC more time with each other.
15. If there are singles' rallies in your church circles, attend one of those, since it might be the last one to attend as a single person. Often the trip there is as much fun as the event itself (see #2 above for the trip part of it). Sometimes a couple that is not "public knowledge" yet will also attend one of these, although a careful observer can usually detect when this is going on and indeed that may lead to an eventual disclosure.
Interested to hear what other people do/did - particularly customs in specific church circles. For example, the Wengers and Hornings have a bunch of unique customs they do. The Kingdom Fellowship Weekend traditions started out in Charity circles.
)