Neighbor against Neighbor

[Ernie]

https://www.npr.org/2026/09/12/nx-s1-59 ... ath-doxing

Neighbor against neighbor - And doxing is becoming mainstream.

"We've been living in that world of accelerating reduction of barriers to doing that sort of thing online versus face-to-face to your neighbor," Hiller said.

" I … actually know all my neighbors and disagree politically significantly with some of them. If one of them ever posted something that I felt really worried me or my family, I would talk to them about it. I would say, 'Hey, you may not have realized the impact this has on me,' " she said. "But I think that people don't do that. It's unexpected to do that in person."

I would like if we could have a discussion about doxing and neighbors against neighbors, without getting caught in the political polarization that is fueling it. Is that possible? Let's try.

[JohnH]

How does "doxing" have any meaning with a neighbour?

My neighbour's address is like mine except the last digit changes...

We used to publish thick books delivered to everyone's house with everyone's name, address, and phone number. Nobody thought this was a problem or was a big deal.

[temporal1]

How does "doxing" have any meaning with a neighbour?

My neighbour's address is like mine except the last digit changes...

We used to publish thick books delivered to everyone's house with everyone's name, address, and phone number. Nobody thought this was a problem or was a big deal.

i think i have the 1975 phone book, white+yellow pages, not thick, with our names+addresses in Santa Barbara, CA.
i believe you could request to be unlisted, but that was unusual. most wanted family+friends to be able to find them.

[ohio jones]

i believe you could request to be unlisted, but that was unusual.

It was an extra charge on the monthly bill, and might have been unusual for ordinary law-abiding citizens, but not unusual for businesses to have one or more lines unlisted. You want people to call the receptionist (another antiquity) rather than the phone in the elevator.

[QuietlyListening]

most wanted family+friends to be able to find them.

unless you were a teacher, doctor, lawyer, etc.

A teacher with the same last name as ours and lived in the same town was unlisted and we often got calls asking for her- she was also a field hockey coach. When I said, I'm not her, they wanted me to give them her number- which I didn't have and wouldn't have any way.

[temporal1]

i believe you could request to be unlisted, but that was unusual.

It was an extra charge on the monthly bill, and might have been unusual for ordinary law-abiding citizens, but not unusual for businesses to have one or more lines unlisted. You want people to call the receptionist (another antiquity) rather than the phone in the elevator.

My daughter knows i’d like to revisit Santa Barbara and Montecito and area, Summerland (with the phone book) with all my family, i’d like to revisit whatever’s left with them .. i’m pretty sure a lot remains. Not all. i think the ice cream shop is there, i’d order macadamia nut ice cream, and dream of visiting Hawaii, which many did from that location. Hawaii is still very far, even from the west coast.

i don’t imagine our little bougainvillea-covered cottage from a converted garage on the hillside is there, $150/mo cash, no lease, a handshake did it; nor the nearby beautiful small business i worked for, those properties would be too valuable to remain. i’d like to drive by.

There were several lush municipal small parks and sites around of interest. i expect they’re still there.
It was beautiful and idyllic. With a constant highway buzz and lots of theft of everything all the time.
i suppose those things remain.



^^notice what looks like a small gutter running from underneath the door.
my kinna house.

[HansMacDonald]

i believe you could request to be unlisted, but that was unusual.

It was an extra charge on the monthly bill, and might have been unusual for ordinary law-abiding citizens, but not unusual for businesses to have one or more lines unlisted. You want people to call the receptionist (another antiquity) rather than the phone in the elevator.

My daughter knows i’d like to revisit Santa Barbara and Montecito and area, Summerland (with the phone book) with all my family, i’d like to revisit whatever’s left with them .. i’m pretty sure a lot remains. Not all. i think the ice cream shop is there, i’d order macadamia nut ice cream, and dream of visiting Hawaii, which many did from that location. Hawaii is still very far, even from the west coast.

i don’t imagine our little bougainvillea-covered cottage from a converted garage on the hillside is there, $150/mo cash, no lease, a handshake did it; nor the nearby beautiful small business i worked for, those properties would be too valuable to remain. i’d like to drive by.

There were several lush municipal small parks and sites around of interest. i expect they’re still there.
It was beautiful and idyllic. With a constant highway buzz and lots of theft of everything all the time.
i suppose those things remain.



^^notice what looks like a small gutter running from underneath the door.
my kinna house.

Precious memories, how they linger. You were lucky to live in beautiful California back before the cost of living and housing prices skyrocketed. I like to go for visits, but I couldn't live there.

[ken_sylvania]

https://www.npr.org/2026/09/12/nx-s1-59 ... ath-doxing

Neighbor against neighbor - And doxing is becoming mainstream.

"We've been living in that world of accelerating reduction of barriers to doing that sort of thing online versus face-to-face to your neighbor," Hiller said.

" I … actually know all my neighbors and disagree politically significantly with some of them. If one of them ever posted something that I felt really worried me or my family, I would talk to them about it. I would say, 'Hey, you may not have realized the impact this has on me,' " she said. "But I think that people don't do that. It's unexpected to do that in person."

I would like if we could have a discussion about doxing and neighbors against neighbors, without getting caught in the political polarization that is fueling it. Is that possible? Let's try.

I think some people are more likely to say mean things on social media than what they would say in person.
I think that people talking about their neighbors behind their backs has been happening for thousands of years.
I think that social media has exponentially increased the audience for every such event.

For some reason, people seem less willing than ever to allow others to withhold judgment about a situation or to hold complex views about a situation. Whether it's vaccines, organizations like CAM and the people who run them, people accused of financial misconduct or some type of abuse, and on an on the list goes. In my opinion, we would do better to keep our opinions to ourselves more often unless we are directly involved, and if we are, our opinion probably doesn't need to be publicized for the world to see.

It's also good for us to remember that online and text conversations are not private and be guided accordingly.

[Ernie]

For some reason, people seem less willing than ever to allow others to withhold judgment about a situation or to hold complex views about a situation.

This needs highlighted!
It's one thing to be judgmental. It's quite another thing to not allow others to not be judgmental.

There are certain things that scripture calls us to judge. But there are many other things that we don't know a lot about or things that are not black and white that require nuanced responses. And sometimes there is not time or energy for delving into the complexity. But in this day and era, people are expected to make judgments on things anyhow.

[temporal1]

For some reason, people seem less willing than ever to allow others to withhold judgment about a situation or to hold complex views about a situation.

This needs highlighted!
It's one thing to be judgmental. It's quite another thing to not allow others to not be judgmental.

There are certain things that scripture calls us to judge. But there are many other things that we don't know a lot about or things that are not black and white that require nuanced responses. And sometimes there is not time or energy for delving into the complexity. But in this day and era, people are expected to make judgments on things anyhow.

Ernie / The Best of MennoNet / Other
https://forum.mennonet.com/viewtopic.php?t=6491