Ernie wrote: ↑Sat Jun 13, 2026 5:29 pm
There are different ways to keep people awake. If you have good content, that will keep people awake. If you don't, you need to resort to volume.
Truth. And shorter sermons that get to the point.
The best sermons I've ever heard were almost hypnotic, very long and rambling.
I can remember sermons like that when I was younger. Our church members who are over the age of fifty have old bladders that don’t hold out that long. When we get a guest preacher who likes to do a long sermon I noticed the silver set doing a mad dash to the facilities about halfway through.
0 x
Free Will Baptist <-> Anabaptist
”Try hard not to offend. Try harder not to be offended.” Robert Martz
Spotted on the web, edited for spelling and sentence structure:
A little boy was squirming around in church. The pastor kept looking over, getting annoyed. The pastor noticed the mom leaned over and whispered something to the boy, and the boy sat still and was quiet. Afterwards the pastor asked the mom what she told the boy. She said if you don’t sit down and behave, he’s gonna start that sermon over again.
JohnL wrote: ↑Sun Jun 14, 2026 7:41 pm
I can remember sermons like that when I was younger. Our church members who are over the age of fifty have old bladders that don’t hold out that long. When we get a guest preacher who likes to do a long sermon I noticed the silver set doing a mad dash to the facilities about halfway through.
My congregation must be in phenomenal vesical health then; not even the longest-winded revival preacher (bringing a secondary dimension to the term "protracted meetings") can get our senior citizens to do this. Perhaps you should advise your fellow congregants age 51 and up to consult a doctor?
