I think it is funny

[Soloist]

Wife:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night.

At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions of stars."

Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"

Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our tent."

[JohnL]

What parents around here tell their children when they act up either in public or in private.

* “Don’t make me stop this car!”
* “Do you need a whoopin to knock your brains back into your head?”
* “Where’s my wooden spoon?”
* (In a store asking the clerk) “Where’s the belt department?”
* “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
* “You’re bored? Here’s a broom go sweep the garage. Get busy.”
* “Quit that or I’ll snatch you bald.”
* “Do that again and you’ll wake up dead.”

[R7ehr]

What parents around here tell their children when they act up either in public or in private.

* “Don’t make me stop this car!”
* “Do you need a whoopin to knock your brains back into your head?”
* “Where’s my wooden spoon?”
* (In a store asking the clerk) “Where’s the belt department?”
* “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
* “You’re bored? Here’s a broom go sweep the garage. Get busy.”
* “Quit that or I’ll snatch you bald.”
* “Do that again and you’ll wake up dead.”

I’d do numbers 1 & 3.

[JohnL]

Someone broke into our house last night and stole a dozen eggs.
They also left a pot of boiling water on the stove.
The police believe it was poachers.

[temporal1]

Sounds like my daughter’s house. Except, i told my daughter i thought speaking to “Alexa” is creepy.
She changed it to “Echo”. So now they talk to Echo all day.

i’ll be visiting that world again soon. i get along.

[Soloist]

Wife:
A man gets into a taxi at the airport.

As they're driving, he taps the driver on the shoulder to ask a question.

The driver screams, swerves across three lanes, jumps a curb, narrowly misses a tree, and slams on the brakes.

After a long silence the passenger says, “I am so sorry. I barely touched your shoulder.”

The driver takes a deep breath.

“No, that's my fault. Today is my first day driving a taxi.”

The passenger says, “Really?”

The driver says,

“yeah. I use to drive a hearse"

[JohnL]

Wife:
A man gets into a taxi at the airport.

As they're driving, he taps the driver on the shoulder to ask a question.

The driver screams, swerves across three lanes, jumps a curb, narrowly misses a tree, and slams on the brakes.

After a long silence the passenger says, “I am so sorry. I barely touched your shoulder.”

The driver takes a deep breath.

“No, that's my fault. Today is my first day driving a taxi.”

The passenger says, “Really?”

The driver says,

“yeah. I use to drive a hearse"

An oldie but still a goodie.

[JohnL]

I applied to NASA… they said “try Earth first”

NASA: “We go to space” me: “I lose my keys at home”

My productivity is still in testing phase like NASA rockets. Or SpaceX. Or Blue Origins.

Beam us up Mr. Scott.

[temporal1]

2024:

It is only funny for the wrong reasons.

[temporal1]