Wife leave her husband

[Southerner]

Let’s keep on topic.

It seemed pertinent to the topic to me. The question being, when should a wife leave her husband. I would suggest that any hitting (with or without a "reason") necessitates the wife (or husband) leaving immediately.

I have some family currently in very difficult situations...all the situations involve porn/ abuse/ mental health. One of my relatives recently separated. I am aware what Scripture says but don't know how to reconcile it always w the living hell my relatives are enduring presently. Marriage is sometimes framed as a taste of heaven but what about relationships where it is a living nightmare for the spouse...add to it...9 sweet children and I am trying to get a family member to professional therapy but there is a waiting list.

[Soloist]

Let’s keep on topic.

It seemed pertinent to the topic to me. The question being, when should a wife leave her husband. I would suggest that any hitting (with or without a "reason") necessitates the wife (or husband) leaving immediately.

Wife: Not that I’m totally against this view (I actually said this in the other thread), but I would not necessarily say the first time, unless it’s something serious. The person I’m thinking of married someone who was abused, and at one point they ended up hitting her, and she basically gave them an ultimatum that if they ever tried it again, she would leave. They apparently took that seriously, and never did it again and have been married for decades. I think it was great for her to give him that chance to repent.

I do think there’s a huge difference between that situation and some of the abuse situations I’ve seen, and we definitely should not be guilt tripping ladies into risking their lives. That said, I do know of some situations where the lady being willing to stay ultimately saves her husband, but I would never want to force someone to be in that position, and I definitely think when children are involved, the lady needs to consider them as well.

This goes for men too.

[JohnH]

Let’s keep on topic.

It seemed pertinent to the topic to me. The question being, when should a wife leave her husband. I would suggest that any hitting (with or without a "reason") necessitates the wife (or husband) leaving immediately.

That seems a bit absolutist.

Suppose a couple has an argument and the wife gets frustrated and shoves / pushes or throws a phone and smashes it, etc.

Do you really think that NECESSITATES the husband immediately leaving? Should he take the children too?

[Valerie]

Let’s keep on topic.

It seemed pertinent to the topic to me. The question being, when should a wife leave her husband. I would suggest that any hitting (with or without a "reason") necessitates the wife (or husband) leaving immediately.

I have some family currently in very difficult situations...all the situations involve porn/ abuse/ mental health. One of my relatives recently separated. I am aware what Scripture says but don't know how to reconcile it always w the living hell my relatives are enduring presently. Marriage is sometimes framed as a taste of heaven but what about relationships where it is a living nightmare for the spouse...add to it...9 sweet children and I am trying to get a family member to professional therapy but there is a waiting list.

Is this the kind of hardness of heart that allowed for divorce in the OT? Why God was merciful? There can be some pretty unhealthy situations for children to be brought up in and then learn bad behavior & so it continues. I’m not advocating divorce just seeing why it had been allowed

[JohnH]

Is this the kind of hardness of heart that allowed for divorce in the OT? Why God was merciful? There can be some pretty unhealthy situations for children to be brought up in and then learn bad behavior & so it continues. I’m not advocating divorce just seeing why it had been allowed

The "hardness of heart" allowed in the OT was for men to divorce their wives and marry someone else they liked more, which is something Jesus explicitly told us God doesn't want us to do.

[Swiss Brah]

I recently found this very helpful.

https://douglasjacoby.com/wp-content/up ... 9178-2.pdf

[JayP]

I am always perplexed in these conversations how folks use the term divorce when what they often seem to be saying is remarriage.

Just as with marriage, we oversimplify or skip over the reality in 21st century america that marriage is both a religious and legal reality.

I do not think the Bible forbids divorce although clearly God is displeased by it. Note, by divorce I mean a legalistic end to the marriage. The religious marriage cannot be broken. But, for example, an abused wife has every right to seek legal separation and be separated from an abusive man. Can they remarry? Not as I understand it

[barnhart]

I am always perplexed in these conversations how folks use the term divorce when what they often seem to be saying is remarriage.

Just as with marriage, we oversimplify or skip over the reality in 21st century america that marriage is both a religious and legal reality.

I do not think the Bible forbids divorce although clearly God is displeased by it. Note, by divorce I mean a legalistic end to the marriage. The religious marriage cannot be broken. But, for example, an abused wife has every right to seek legal separation and be separated from an abusive man. Can they remarry? Not as I understand it

This is very close to my view.

[Ernie]

That said, I do know of some situations where the lady being willing to stay ultimately saves her husband,

Any chance that a spouse could move out (with the assumption that it is temporary) and still love their spouse in any ways they can (e.g. sending their spouse a favorite food, or cutting some firewood, etc.) and the arrangement be just as effective in "saving" their spouse as what living with the spouse would have been?

[JohnH]

That said, I do know of some situations where the lady being willing to stay ultimately saves her husband,

Any chance that a spouse could move out (with the assumption that it is temporary) and still love their spouse in any ways they can (e.g. sending their spouse a favorite food, or cutting some firewood, etc.) and the arrangement be just as effective in "saving" their spouse as what living with the spouse would have been?

It would be amazing to see that. However, I have only ever seen once a spouse moves out a sort of "scorched earth" where they spend their time running around telling everyone how terrible the spouse is, and exhausting every avenue (whether legal, via church, etc.) to try to get back at the other person.

It is especially sad when both spouses are busy doing this to each other.