Conservative Young Women Flip the Script

[Ernie]

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/c ... _permalink
Kids First, Then Career

“Liberals are leaning hard into being DINKs [Dual Income No Kids], being childless or having fewer kids, and it being very much a choice, whereas for conservatives having kids is still very much a part of what it means to be a whole person,” Perry said.

[justme]

this is my opinion, coming from someone who has not had any kids.

i think girls need to have their kids early, for several reasons.
1. you still have the energy to run after them
2. by the time the kids are able to mostly look after themselves, you'll still be young and able to focus on your career.

if you start your career, and then at age 30 or 35 have your kids, then you will be upwards of 40 to 50 for getting back into the work force full time.

and none of this spacing kids 5 or 6 years apart. get the diaper stage done and over with all at once. (i said spacing, that means deliberate, that does not mean unforeseen and or unwanted events.)

again, this is based on what i have witnessed, not what i have experienced.

i did not read the article, it asked for an account, and it was not important enough to me to create a "free" account.

[barnhart]

I remember an article from 20 years ago of a grade student interviewing prominent women with careers in government, science, business ect... the only name I can recall was former supreme court justice Sandra Day O'Connor. The questions centered around family and career and those who had children first were dramatically more positive about their roles including careers.

[JohnH]

this is my opinion, coming from someone who has not had any kids.

i think girls need to have their kids early, for several reasons.
1. you still have the energy to run after them
2. by the time the kids are able to mostly look after themselves, you'll still be young and able to focus on your career.

Men probably should too. Men in their 40s and 50s are less energetic than men in their 20s and 30s.

[Valerie]

I think Charlie Kirk and his nationwide influence through Turning Point on college campuses has been a tremendous influence.

I remember in very early childhood the push for us little girls to pick out what careers we wanted. My mother was a stay at hom mother with no desire for a career (although she always babysat to help us financially) which was more common in that time. I remember feeling confused when I was little because I wanted to grow up get married and have children like she did. What was wrong with that?

Women’s lib really got LOUD in the early 70s. It was then making homemaking look “less than”

Along came increase of divorce. An increasing amount of women were left without careers while their husbands left them for other women. Where I come from, this was getting more and more common. I remember the mentality of women feeling like they had to have a career because they may end up having to take care of themselves. I just remember the transformation of stay at home moms to working mothers and families being destroyed and children left with babysitters or put in daycares.

It’s the empty world I came from in southern CA.
Women bought the lies BUT the men contributed to that by the ease of leaving their wives. That’s what happened to my mom when I was 15. Mom had no career. Devastated. I think this is a complex situation.

The reason conservatives are going this direction is by and large they’re applying Scripture regarding roles.

[temporal1]

i’m so happy to be present to witness this.

For decades i’ve watched young women pushed and pushed to”be everything”, to “have it all”, to be their best versions of males, to push men away, even within marriage, to insist on domination, to reject motherhood, to disrespect marriage and motherhood, to devalue the importance and honor of motherhood.

For what? ..
Then, to witness so many approach age 40 to “suddenly” be burdened with regrets. “i regret not having a family.”
Then, normalizing costly impersonal science in bedrooms, in attempt to reverse the clock.

Thing is.
The years and experience gained by being a wife and raising children are PRICELESS education for the not-distant future.
What better training for higher ed or meetings in business boardrooms than having navigated babies-children-teens?!
God’s design works out beautifully.

Faith+trust. Life doesn’t end at 30. It begins.

The societal pressures put on so many young women are inhumane.
When they could be enjoying the precious God-designed years of new marriage and young families.

The future will come.
If it doesn’t, which would you regret? Boardrooms or family? Competition or love?

My grdaughter is newly 18, intelligent, able, being pushed to “excel”.
Her grmother tells her, “i love everything about you. i care about your spirit and your soul”.
We started a hope chest when she was in her early teens. We talk about preparation for marriage and home.

Good marriages, good families, don’t appear out of thin air (like the world claims).
They result from years+years of small supoortive messages that relay value, respect, honor.

The world suggests “anyone can do it” wrt marriage+family.
Mechanically, sure.

Doing m+family well couldn’t be more different than simple mechanics.
(i think) a lot of abuse and even death result from lack of preparation for the reality of marriage and family.
Certainly, divorce and the severe pain suffered there. Ignorance and lack of preparation.

Not everyone can do it. Not everyone is prepared. It’s something to strive for, not take for granted and devalued.

Churches are in first place to support and guide all human choices. Esp marriage and family.
Thousands+thousands of small messages of support and guidance.

God designed humans are interesting creatures. Designed to never stop learning.
One’s life isn’t over because of marriage and family. It’s enriched by it.

- - - - - - -

For males, m+family can be motivators as nothing else.

i advise my adult children, good marriages result in everyone thriving. that is a worthwhile goal.
“everyone thriving” doesn’t mean everyone doing the same thing in equal portions.

[QuietlyListening]

I have no problem with a young woman being prepared for marriage but I have also seen young women pushed into getting married because that is what they should do and gotten into marriages they are not happy in. A woman is better off not getting married than getting married because 'they should'. Pressure can be brought to bear that way and be just as bad.

I also see nothing wrong with a young woman preparing for a 'career' like teaching, nursing, accounting, a tech service and so many other things. Even if one gets married things happen. Your husband dies. Your husband leaves you. Your husband has a life changing accident/illness where he can no longer work. The woman is then prepared to support her family if she has one.

My oldest daughter didn't get married til her late 30s and had a child at 40. She and her husband are proof of justme's statement of not as much energy. It has been more difficult for them. She worked part time after their child was born and my husband and I helped care for our grandson on those days. Later she went full time and he was in preschool and now kindergarten. But she is still mom first and her husband is very involved as a father. Their son comes first and they work it out or have family and friends to help if needed.

My daughter in law went back to work part time after her children were in school and work in the school system so her days are coordinated with theirs. Most of the reason she returned was my son was diagnosed with a brain tumor and while he is doing well at present and there has been no growth- the future is uncertain. This way she has a foot in the door if she needs to work full time- either because he can no longer work or if he would die. Again- my son is a hands on father and her children are first and foremost with her and she has family and others to help as needed.

I don't think making a blanket statement that woman should be wives and mothers only. There can be balance and woman can work and be good wives and mothers. Much depends on their focus and if the job is all consuming. Most of all they should be seeking the Lord's leading not what society or the religious community says. Both can bring pressure that is damaging.

[temporal1]

QL:
.. I don't think making a blanket statement that woman should be wives and mothers only. There can be balance and woman can work and be good wives and mothers. Much depends on their focus and if the job is all consuming. Most of all they should be seeking the Lord's leading not what society or the religious community says. Both can bring pressure that is damaging.

i agree with everything you’re saying. And Valerie, and others above.
After decades of increasing disregard for marriage+family, heavens! i’m thankful to witness the door crack open for many young women to have the “right” to even consider m+family. Societal pressures against it have dominated.

i’m not a fan of binary thinking. Little is black+white, either-or.

[JohnL]

The way I see it God provides the children and we can’t see a pattern or plan. I’m seeing a lot of larger families again for the past 15 years or so. And it’s parents who want that many. 5 and 6 kids who are having large families of their own. That what I mean when I said the poverty of having no family. Some folks can’t help it because it just didn’t happen that way for them.
This business of saying “women pushed into marriage” I think is probably one of those modern myths to undermine faith because according to my wife she says women feel pushed into career and no kids lives. Everyone feels like they have no choice at some point. Women have always had careers and choices. Just look at the Bible. Lydia was a seller of purple. I know there’s Amish women who have businesses. What I see happening here is a false dichotomy being pushed for political reasons and since this is a no-politics section I think those things belong elsewhere.,

[temporal1]

The way I see it God provides the children and we can’t see a pattern or plan. I’m seeing a lot of larger families again for the past 15 years or so. And it’s parents who want that many. 5 and 6 kids who are having large families of their own. That what I mean when I said the poverty of having no family. Some folks can’t help it because it just didn’t happen that way for them.

Complications of family-no family followed the advent of cheap-free birth control.
Now to revisit, seeing serious societal damage.

God knew what He was doing, making physical love high value.

Our first living child was born when i was 27. Second at 33. Miscarriages were involved, not “planning.”
In my family, 27 was OLD. Two children were FEW. i was sad.
i wanted to start a family at 19. i thought about it from childhood. It didn’t happen.

On the plus side of older parents: PATIENCE. GRATITUDE. MATURITY.

Still. i support young marriages and families. NO ONE GETS EVERYTHING. THERE IS NO 1 RIGHT CHOICE.
Except Jesus. Jesus Christ is ALWAYS the right choice. In all circumstances. His Way is the right way.