Poll: Age for Dating and Marriage

[the-real-steve]

I know ladies that were well into their 40's and 50's and married. A family friend was in her mid-50's and married a widower old enough to be her dad.

I meant married for the first time

[JohnH]

I've known some people who were really into the Josh Harris "courtship" ideas. They ended up with kids who still aren't married in their 30s.

Josh Harris himself eventually abandoned Christianity altogether, and now he and his wife are divorced. I would not take any marriage advice from him.

That kind of thinking is like the idea that CAM should have been disbanded because one person did something bad- like Angel Food ministries (which really helped struggling families) was destroyed and is now defunct because the founder's son had a scandal of some sort. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

CAM should have been investigated by the Feds long before that happened. Lot's of funny business going on in the accounting department. But that's a story for another day

Investigated by the Feds for what? They are a 501c3 and have quite transparent finances. That’s a pretty big accusation to make, but if you feel so strongly, I suggest you reach out to some of the CAM people here and detail your allegations with them.

[JohnH]

I've seen that quote about small businesses before, but in the plain world, half of people's businesses do not fail after 5 years. However, the typical plain person's business is something a lot lower risk where they basically are offering needed goods or services and not trying to do some "innovative" kind of idea or aiming for really fast growth.

MLMs are just something housewives do. Nobody is doing that as a serious business, other than the occasional random person who somehow gets to the top of the chain, and in my experience those people usually are exiting the plain world anyway.

The point of this discussion is that, somehow, against all odds, the plain world keeps on being able to afford housing for itself, find employment for its young people, who then start (successful) small businesses, and remain surprisingly insulated from the problems otherwise afflicting the middle class, such as housing becoming really unaffordable in the cities, lack of decent jobs for young people, outsourcing, mass layoffs, and so forth. It would seem prudent to learn from why plain people are able to avoid these problems, and perhaps even look for solutions there.

Most Americans are able to find employment and housing. This is a wealthy nation and the percentage who are homeless and unemployed is very small. And plain folks aren't immune to layoffs, outsourcing, and everything else. Thousands in Indiana lost their jobs in the RV industry during the great recession, for example. And plenty are on Medicaid.

Very few plain groups use Medicaid. One of the few is the one I’m in. Amish generally don’t.

Working employment jobs for an outside employer is an example of transitioning away from plain culture to the mainstream culture, and then being affected by recessions and layoffs.

Yes there is generational wealth in Mennonite and Amish communities to be sure (lots of generational wealth in cities too). But not so much if you want to walk into that life from the outside. Which doesn't make it much of a solution for anyone else frankly. Why would anyone look to plain communities as a model to join when they and their family will still likely be an outsider 10 or even 20 years later if they don't have the right last name or ethnicity?

I’m not from a plain background and somehow I have managed to make it work. My wife’s family had no generational wealth either (or really any wealth at all - her parents still rent an house for $400) and somehow her parents made it work, too.

You don’t have to have the “right last name” or the “right ethnicity”. This is a myth.

[the-real-steve]

Investigated by the Feds for what? They are a 501c3 and have quite transparent finances. That’s a pretty big accusation to make, but if you feel so strongly, I suggest you reach out to some of the CAM people here and detail your allegations with them.

Yes, it is a big accusation, and one I stand behind. Trust me. Go find the CAM mega thread from a few years ago. Won't go into details but I was involved in a rather substantial donation of product to them some years back. The things their financial department asked me to do screamed money laundering. My employer hasn't given them a dime since.

[JohnH]

Investigated by the Feds for what? They are a 501c3 and have quite transparent finances. That’s a pretty big accusation to make, but if you feel so strongly, I suggest you reach out to some of the CAM people here and detail your allegations with them.

Yes, it is a big accusation, and one I stand behind. Trust me. Go find the CAM mega thread from a few years ago. Won't go into details but I was involved in a rather substantial donation of product to them some years back. The things their financial department asked me to do screamed money laundering. My employer hasn't given them a dime since.

“Money laundering”? A nonprofit doesn’t do “money laundering” with donations. They do generally try to record the maximum amount reasonable to value donations in-kind, as a business can only deduct a percentage of such donations, not the full amount.

[the-real-steve]

“Money laundering”? A nonprofit doesn’t do “money laundering” with donations.

You have much to learn, my friend

[JohnH]

“Money laundering”? A nonprofit doesn’t do “money laundering” with donations.

You have much to learn, my friend

Do I?

Money laundering generally involves taking cash acquired from activity someone doesn’t want the government to know about it and then creating fake sales to a cash-heavy for profit business like a restaurant or nightclub, creating “clean” gross revenue and net profit for that business.

Nonprofits don’t need to care about having profit at all, and they certainly accept cash donations. They usually prefer check / wire transfer / brokerage transfer for large donations, though.

[the-real-steve]

“Money laundering”? A nonprofit doesn’t do “money laundering” with donations.

You have much to learn, my friend

Do I?

Money laundering generally involves taking cash acquired from activity someone doesn’t want the government to know about it and then creating fake sales to a cash-heavy for profit business like a restaurant or nightclub, creating “clean” gross revenue and net profit for that business.

Nonprofits don’t need to care about having profit at all, and they certainly accept cash donations. They usually prefer check / wire transfer / brokerage transfer for large donations, though.

You obviously have CAM painted as an innocent white lamb that can do no wrong. To that end, there is no reason to continue this conversation. I wish you the best.

[JohnH]

You obviously have CAM painted as an innocent white lamb that can do no wrong. To that end, there is no reason to continue this conversation. I wish you the best.

I have been highly critical of CAM on this forum, to the point I had someone reaching out to me (and to other people) complaining about how critical I was.

However, it is news to me that CAM has financial irregularities to the point that they need to be federally investigated and that staff at CAM have committed federal crimes. There are a lot of shennanigans that can go on at a nonprofit - money laundering would be a very surprising one, though.

[the-real-steve]

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Stuff like this is a great example where "age is just a number." My wife's cousin got married at 17. Her husband was 21. They were a "thing" since early teens, parents approved and signed off on it.

I've known ladies that were attracted to guys that were old enough to be her dad. I also know women that hunted were attracted to men that were young enough to be their son. Love is weird, that's all I know