Foul or offensive language?

[temporal1]

i chose “something not listed” ..
“rolling with it” suggests going along with it. i think it’s possible to not speak, yet simultaneously not approve.

Couple stories from this week.

Monday night I was at an charity event of a few hundred people where the speaker was the CEO of the multi billion dollar publicly traded company. He has been referred to as having the "Foulest mouth on Wall Street" in the media. My wife and I sat down, and he sees us and comes over. He tells the whole crowd that he has some "no swearing" people in the front, and so he will try to watch his language. At one point in the speech, he pauses, glances at us, and says how someone was a real "S.O.B.". Then he smiles at us, and says "See, I'm trying!"

This was in reference to his using the letters instead of saying the actual words that they stood for. We were the only Mennonites there. There is a back story to this. We attended last year, and the same CEO was on stage, and saw us,

and asked my wife if it was okay if he used some bad language. In front of hundreds of people, she told him that he couldn't.

Yesterday, a co-worker asked me about a fishing trip I went on Thursday. He asked if the well known fishing guide told any dirty stories. I said no. My co-worker was surprised, and shared that he had went fishing with the same guide, and the guide wasn't too bad, because the guide thought that my co-worker was a Mennonite. My co-worker said that when the guide learned that he was not a Mennonite, the language became worse.

i’m sure she was kind.

my mother “had a quiet way” about her that somehow held the saltiest of talk at bay, no matter age or “rank” of the speakers.
i marveled at her “way” with people, altho hardly a word spoken. her presence, demeanor, dignity, without being dominant or pushy, emotional, none of it, no foul language, colorful or dirty jokes. her super power.

i’m not in her league, but, i’m happy to say, i don’t encounter much of this kind of thing. i dress conservatively, not plain, i try to move with respect of others. there are so many small things a person can do to communicate respect .. men silent-message, too.

on occasion, i might add in “comments” a note about profanity not adding to a talk, performance or discussion.
most contemporary entertainers use it, often to a mind-boggling extent. it RUINS their performance, in my view.
i’ve listened to some overall great messages RUINED with profanity.

sometimes, i leave a comment, “good message; because of profanity, i cannot share.” it makes me sad.
so unnecessary.

[temporal1]

I can believe that. Back in my woodshop days, my coworkers often referred to all spanish people as "porkies".

When we lived in So Cal, and visited Mexico, we were routinely referred to in Mexican slang. We were aware of it. Didn’t let ourselves be bothered with it. Much. It’s unpleasant. We did not respond in kind. Every culture has its methods to demean others.

It’s best not to go there in any language. But “bases are covered” in all languages, sub-cultures.

[Swiss Bro]

To be honest I am struggling with this myself. During my years off the path I adopted foul language and it still creeps in far too often. It kind of becomes second nature. God helped me to get rid of many bad habits so I am confident He will also help me with this.

[steve-in-kville]

I can believe that. Back in my woodshop days, my coworkers often referred to all spanish people as "porkies".

When we lived in So Cal, and visited Mexico, we were routinely referred to in Mexican slang. We were aware of it. Didn’t let ourselves be bothered with it. Much. It’s unpleasant. We did not respond in kind. Every culture has its methods to demean others.

It’s best not to go there in any language. But “bases are covered” in all languages, sub-cultures.

My SIL is from Guatemala and still refers to Mexicans as wetbacks!

[temporal1]

I can believe that. Back in my woodshop days, my coworkers often referred to all spanish people as "porkies".

When we lived in So Cal, and visited Mexico, we were routinely referred to in Mexican slang. We were aware of it. Didn’t let ourselves be bothered with it. Much. It’s unpleasant. We did not respond in kind. Every culture has its methods to demean others.

It’s best not to go there in any language. But “bases are covered” in all languages, sub-cultures.

My SIL is from Guatemala and still refers to Mexicans as wetbacks!

ahh. yes.
years ago, my son was interested in a young lady from Brazil, she was working in the U.S. on a visa.
eventually, she returned home, he visited, first time out of the U.S.
her family treated him very well. he was astonished at many things. one thing was the utter disgust they had, as a culture, with Mexicans. the SA countries were/are not always friendly to one another, some have deeply violent histories.

this all reminds me of a shock i had in so cal+mexico, when, as a naive young woman from the midwest, i learned that mexicans not only have offensive slang for U.S. citizens, but, the general overview of U.S. young women (was/is) they are all SLUTS.
i quickly became accustomed to being leared at by men, esp by small groups of men, if language came up, the typical response was, “no English.” when my kind-hearted younger sister visited, i warned her not to talk or engage, not to “fall for” claims of needing help because of language - for instance, for directions. “do not engage!”

it’s not something that was talked about, but, known, taken for granted.
there are some very sleazy men in this world. all cultures/languages. i believe this goes back before scriptures.

having light hair, common in the midwest, makes a young woman a target in lots of places. today, not just a target for the salacious, now a target of resentment, anger, even hate. (in the old days, i used to scoff, “put a blonde wig on a broomstick, many men will go crazy.”) it seemed that extreme in some circles.

in our brief untutored visits to Mexico, we quickly realized, MOST of Mexico is very conservative.
example, in 100+F temps on the beautiful remote beaches we saw females dressed in long dark dresses, with sleeves and headcoverings, NOT the skimpy bikinis Madison Ave portrayed+sold to U.S. travelers! - that’s for U.S. resorts, not everyday locals.
we were not in U.S. resorts.

we realized, hollywood and Madison Avenue is what most foreign countries routinely see as representative of the U.S.
why wouldn’t they perceive U.S. girls/women as sluts?! (presumably, not just Mexico.) much of the world is quite conservative.
europe and the west are “different.” not vice versa. U.S. culture is “odd.” freedoms U.S. women take for granted are not always viewed as admirable or desireable in other cultures.

early 1970’s, when i worked for the U of Vermont, one dean who worked a lot in Bogota, Colombia, described it as “feminism has not landed in Colombia.” 1970’s feminism wasn’t near the madness it’s become. he was trying to describe cultural differences.
at that time, there was a lot of violence in Colombia, AND, hippies were running around the world as-if everyone were just waiting for them to arrive. hippies driving deep into SA for kicks was a thing.

there are good reasons U.S. citizens are viewed with disdain abroad.

we quickly learned a lot, esp about what we take for granted in the U.S. (pros+cons)
extensive gov regulation was one difference. cross the border back into the U.S., it hits you how every small thing is (essentially) sterile and gov regulated.

[Dan Z]

It partly depends on whether or not I am responsible for the place the infraction takes place. "Out on the street" I'll generally just ignore the language (although I have gently spoken up now and then when children are present). If I am responsible for the space (like at the retreat center that I run) I am much quicker to ask the foul-mouthed guest to clean it up.

[RZehr]

I generally won’t bother to say anything to people I am not responsible for. It generally doesn’t take long before they begin to self regulate.
However, for people who do report to me at work, or something like that, I certainly do require them to refrain from swearing. I won’t permit it at all.

[temporal1]

I generally won’t bother to say anything to people I am not responsible for. It generally doesn’t take long before they begin to self regulate.
However, for people who do report to me at work, or something like that, I certainly do require them to refrain from swearing.
I won’t permit it at all.

people know it’s wrong. that’s part of why they do it.
it’s not a requirement for life, altho some seem to want to believe it is. it MIGHT be a requirement for some employment, it seems to be in hollywood and for some types of music.

i just got a warning about “drill music.”
i have not heard it. i won’t search for it.

the warning is that it’s much worse than rap, it’s all about violence/homicide, and lives have already been sacrificed because of it. the men who are trying to stand up to this in the most vulnerable populations have their work cut out for them.
so much misery.

[temporal1]

2025

i’m in a bad situation with this.
i’ve been coping with it (with a loved one) for years+years, no progress.

it’s affecting my health, and i know it. the cardiologists have asked me, “what’s going on, what’s troubling you?”
i just look at them in silence. i know. but what can be done? what more can be tried?

swearing is just part of it. it’s a big part. there’s a lot of verbal abuse and battering. swearing is the principle vehicle.

this person has volunteered questions a couple of times about a demon. i ignored, or discounted. disbelief.
more recently i’ve wondered if this could be. i’ve read a little about it.

the cost of this affects everyone involved. sin affects everyone it shouldn’t.

sin isn’t isolated. there is a ripple effect of harm.

i have sought professional help. from a number of good places. short of physical or sexual abuse, nothing.
it’s crazy how impossible it is to get help. because of privacy laws, this person must ask for help. it has not happened. over many years with every opportunity at hand. nothing.

i’ve thought, if it’s not criminal, it is insane.

it makes me wonder how many others may have similar “impossible” situations? i’m pretty sure there are many.

maybe the saddest thing for me is knowing how this life of anger was wasted, so many years, lost to anger and contempt.
that’s it? that’s what you chose for your whole life? incomprehensible.

in this case, i believe it’s about anger. the hallmark signature is profanity.

Anger is a strange thing
viewtopic.php?t=1842

i believe this is way beyond the OP.
i hope it’s not common.

[Jeff Altweg]

Living in the South, Some expressions are just normal , but would be considered out of line in Yank country ,above the mason Dixon line ...For instance , when the waitress say's "Hi Honey '''she's not getting fresh, just a way of greeting you ,a customer...And when you order hot dogs,or a hamburger she'll likely ask,,,"Would you like that ,all the way ?", in other words with all the concoctions Southern folks put on them ...Your next booth over man may nod his head hello to you and remark, "That's a Butt-load of wood you got on your truck there", He's simply means "a lot of wood"....