JohnH wrote: ↑Mon Apr 14, 2025 11:06 am
Bootstrap wrote: ↑Mon Apr 14, 2025 10:12 am
But really, those educated guesses are often wrong and unhelpful. For instance, people may choose not to enter into what may turn into yet another argument. Then someone says something like this - "I didn't see you post anything to say XXX, so here's what that means about you", and they are called out in an argument they were trying to stay out of.
Really, that's a kind of trolling.
I don't think it is. I've often said this when someone complains bitterly about what President X does, but was completely silent about President Y when it came to essentially the same matter. I usually don't say "here's what that means about you", though; I simply ask them "What was your opinion on President Y when he did or didn't do Z?"
Interestingly, I rarely, if ever, get answers to those questions. (I've noticed you'll answer them, but other participants here on this forum will simply not answer any questions that don't bolster their position.) It feels like arguing in bad faith.
I think there are great reasons to avoid answering those questions.
1. It changes the subject from whatever we are discussing.
2. It puts the other person personally on trial, asking them to prove, to your satisfaction, that they have been consistent. Which almost always turns it into a fight.
3. The person who puts the other person on trial is rarely fair about these things, and often has a bad memory and a desire to portray the other person in a bad light.
4. It's actually a logical fallacy - if I say 2+2=4, do I have to prove that I said 2+2=4 during the last Administration?
5. I don't think the people who ask others to prove this are any more consistent themselves.
6. This is usually a way to avoid discussing the subject. It is a way of arguing in bad faith.
Whenever the subject turns from the subject to portraying the other person negatively, we're doing the wrong thing.
1. Are we discussing the topic? Good.
2. Are we going around and around in a fight? Let's stop doing that.
3. Is there some serious wrongdoing or relational injury? Let's address that, probably not in public and certainly not for show.