ABC 123 wrote: ↑Mon Dec 04, 2023 12:01 pm
If we don't "believe in" adoption because of idealistic notions (i.e. children should stay with their bio parents)
That's not idealistic, but it is a goal. Not one that is always realistic to happen.
what happens to all the children who are born of completely broken situations that will never be restored to healthy and functioning?
Of course there is a place for foster homes and for permanent adoptive homes to happen.
I am surrounded by quite a few adopted family members, so I am passionate about loving people where they are and where they have come from. Why wouldn't I?
I don't think anyone is arguing against that. However, there is a need for some realism about just how many people (typically infertile couples) attempt to adopt children and then have serious problems 10 or 15 years down the line.
I am also against referring to pet "adoptions".
I am against referring to anything with animals as "fostering" or "adopting". They're pets. Call them pets.
Even if adopted children "don't turn out", does that mean we just don't do it? Is the end goal to have a guaranteed positive outcome or is it to love someone who needs it and may not rise as far above their circumstance as we would hope they would? (I have heard the argument mennonites should not adopt because "those children typically don't turn out well".)
Adoption isn't for everyone, but it can be a tremendous things for those who can wade into sometimes muddy waters.
ABC 123 wrote: ↑Mon Dec 04, 2023 2:24 pm
Even if adopted children "don't turn out", does that mean we just don't do it? Is the end goal to have a guaranteed positive outcome or is it to love someone who needs it and may not rise as far above their circumstance as we would hope they would? (I have heard the argument mennonites should not adopt because "those children typically don't turn out well".)
Adoption isn't for everyone, but it can be a tremendous things for those who can wade into sometimes muddy waters.
I have numerous friends whose children are not meeting their parents' expectations, and none of them are adopted.
ABC 123 wrote: ↑Mon Dec 04, 2023 2:24 pm
Even if adopted children "don't turn out", does that mean we just don't do it? Is the end goal to have a guaranteed positive outcome or is it to love someone who needs it and may not rise as far above their circumstance as we would hope they would? (I have heard the argument mennonites should not adopt because "those children typically don't turn out well".)
If, to use recent examples, a family insists on adopting children who then set fires on the neighbour’s property, keep necessitating the sheriff coming out, sexually assault their siblings, and try to smuggle hard drugs across the border, yes, some introspection is necessary to say “Maybe we need to reconsider what we’re doing.”
An obvious way to help is to choose to foster children (and that means access to a lot of resources to help with these very challenging situations). And, of course, I’m not speaking against kinship adoptions, which nearly always make sense and should be done. I’m talking about people who just keep on going thru with adoptions and then cause a reign of terror and chaos for everyone around them. Because they aren’t accessing the resources they need and end up in a state of denial about the situation they’re creating.
It was never on our radar. My wife has cousins who have and did a good job at it. One adopted child was a niece's baby, whereas the mother just wasn't capable (she was young and had a lot of "baggage") In their situation, it worked.
If our circumstances were different, I would have different feelings.
ABC 123 wrote: ↑Mon Dec 04, 2023 2:24 pm
Even if adopted children "don't turn out", does that mean we just don't do it? Is the end goal to have a guaranteed positive outcome or is it to love someone who needs it and may not rise as far above their circumstance as we would hope they would? (I have heard the argument mennonites should not adopt because "those children typically don't turn out well".)
If, to use recent examples, a family insists on adopting children who then set fires on the neighbour’s property, keep necessitating the sheriff coming out, sexually assault their siblings, and try to smuggle hard drugs across the border, yes, some introspection is necessary to say “Maybe we need to reconsider what we’re doing.”
An obvious way to help is to choose to foster children (and that means access to a lot of resources to help with these very challenging situations). And, of course, I’m not speaking against kinship adoptions, which nearly always make sense and should be done. I’m talking about people who just keep on going thru with adoptions and then cause a reign of terror and chaos for everyone around them. Because they aren’t accessing the resources they need and end up in a state of denial about the situation they’re creating.
And how are you supposed to know ahead of time that children will be arsonists and criminals?
I was pondering this earlier... I do not think I ever really heard a sermon preached on adopting children. At least nothing in depth. I've heard sermons preached on a single person's role in a church setting, but can't say I heard anything on adoption.
steve-in-kville wrote: ↑Tue Dec 05, 2023 9:09 am
I was pondering this earlier... I do not think I ever really heard a sermon preached on adopting children. At least nothing in depth. I've heard sermons preached on a single person's role in a church setting, but can't say I heard anything on adoption.
It should be part and parcel of the comprehensive Christian view towards children, which should inform subtopics such as birth control, child training, adoption, and the theology of their standing with God. We should hear more about all these things, particularly as society has fewer and fewer children.
I went with Option #5 simply because none of your poll options were an exact fit for our family and views on the subject. We have 3 children of our own, but we are also currently working with the foster system here in PA, and additionally intend to adopt through the foster system at some point as a feasible opportunity presents. All with the willing support of our families on both sides.
steve-in-kville wrote: ↑Tue Dec 05, 2023 9:09 am
I was pondering this earlier... I do not think I ever really heard a sermon preached on adopting children. At least nothing in depth. I've heard sermons preached on a single person's role in a church setting, but can't say I heard anything on adoption.
It should be part and parcel of the comprehensive Christian view towards children, which should inform subtopics such as birth control, child training, adoption, and the theology of their standing with God. We should hear more about all these things, particularly as society has fewer and fewer children.
That would assume that a church (let alone a church group) has reached a consensus on any of these things.
The modern irony is that young Mennonite couples go and get on birth control for a few years before having kids; then if they find out they're infertile, they spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to adopt a baby.