Fussy babies during church services... Part 2

[Neto]

When I was growing up, the nursery was very small, and only for small babies, those who were sleeping. So taking a crying child in there was not a good option. (A misbehaving child was taken out doors, in all weather, if some more clear 'correction' was required. This based on personal experience... )

The back pews were reserved for parents with small children. There was also a very minimal 'sound system' - the preachers (and singers) had to know how to project.

[ohio jones]

If you can't preach over a crying child,
you don't have much preach in you.

*A* crying child, yes.

If I'm counting correctly and haven't left someone out, we are on track for 9 newborns this year. Similar numbers last year and the year before. If a bunch of them get started at once ...

[barnhart]

On a related issue, we have been working toward church activity that puts different age groups together and avoiding things that pull them apart. We have reduced Sunday school classes to two childrens classes and made multiple classes where older children and adults are together. Next cycle we are considering segregating by gender but not by age, all persons of the same gender will be numbered off into several smaller groups.

[HeIsRisen]

This can be difficult to manage in a church because I feel some people really aren't bothered by a fair amount of fussing and can still focus on the sermon/prayer/etc, but others really do get distracted easily if a child starts fussing, even quietly, so they want all children out.

If the child starts screaming, it's time to relocate. Usually the mom knows when it's time to go. But a little fussing or crying? I think it's best to keep the child in the service (cut the mom some slack option). I personally love when small children are in the sanctuary for service. How else will they learn how to sit still for an hour unless you give them to opportunity to learn?

And while the child learns to sit still /quietly, us adults are also blessed with the opportunity to increase our self control and patience.

[Judas Maccabeus]

If you can't preach over a crying child,
you don't have much preach in you.

*A* crying child, yes.

If I'm counting correctly and haven't left someone out, we are on track for 9 newborns this year. Similar numbers last year and the year before. If a bunch of them get started at once ...

My former evangelical church died. One of the reasons, among many, was it was not child friendly. I even experienced the senior pastor yelling during a sermon, for a mother to get a slightly noisy baby to the nursery. I cringed. Soon, for this reason, as well as many others, there were no families with young children. The whole place communicated "young children unwelcome here." Fellowship hall was decorated with lots of fragile stuff, no games or such here, it was set up for catered banquets that many of our families with children strained to afford. When this pastor died, some of the remaining leadership tried to right the course, but it was too late. When I preached, I was never interrupted by crying babies, because there were none. Just a bunch of bickering senior citizens, I nearly rolled off my chair when I heard the "Grumble Song" the first time. I as an elder, was among the youngest members. Eventually it became financially unsustainable. It failed partially because of economics, and partially because much of my generation, and those younger than me felt unwelcome. Other factors played into it as well.

So when I hear crying children, when I am approached during a social time by a child with a book asking me to read it to them, or with a piece of artwork, I rejoice. I would far rather preach over a crying child than to NEVER have to do this. It means we have a future.

[Sliceitup]

My child that is on the spectrum is really affected by all the little children’s noises. It can make for a very miserable Sunday morning. It’s almost as if it causes physical pain.

But even with that said I would never try to tell a parent when they should remove a fussing child unless the kid is straight up crying or screaming. My child’s issues are always going to be present, and we find solutions that don’t involve hushing every other child.

[steve-in-kville]

My former evangelical church died. One of the reasons, among many, was it was not child friendly. I even experienced the senior pastor yelling during a sermon, for a mother to get a slightly noisy baby to the nursery. I cringed. Soon, for this reason, as well as many others, there were no families with young children. The whole place communicated "young children unwelcome here." Fellowship hall was decorated with lots of fragile stuff, no games or such here, it was set up for catered banquets that many of our families with children strained to afford. When this pastor died, some of the remaining leadership tried to right the course, but it was too late. When I preached, I was never interrupted by crying babies, because there were none. Just a bunch of bickering senior citizens, I nearly rolled off my chair when I heard the "Grumble Song" the first time. I as an elder, was among the youngest members. Eventually it became financially unsustainable. It failed partially because of economics, and partially because much of my generation, and those younger than me felt unwelcome. Other factors played into it as well.

So when I hear crying children, when I am approached during a social time by a child with a book asking me to read it to them, or with a piece of artwork, I rejoice. I would far rather preach over a crying child than to NEVER have to do this. It means we have a future.

That is a sad story.

Our own baby/small child days are over.... but we are expecting the next chapter in our lives in a few months...

[barnhart]

Good words JM, it serves as a parable for the American church in general.

[Neto]

Other things are more distracting to me than a baby crying. For example, one time a young man & his girlfriend sat in front of us, and I could see that he was scrolling through MatchBox Cars on Ebay, all through the service. Or a young child who was given very soft & sticky chocolate cookies during the service, which she naturally got all over her hands, then on the (padded) chair back. People chewing gum, and not quietly. (When I was in HS I was the church custodian, and when I took over I spent many hours laying on my back under the pews, scraping off the dried gum, an accumulation of many years, I suppose. I worked on it some every week, but I don't think I ever got it all done. If someone just really HAS to chew gum in the church service, do it quietly, and keep the wrapper to put it in, then take it with you, at least to the trash can. It's a nasty business trying to clean that stuff up.) Or, ADULTS talking during the service. Write notes if you have to.

[Josh]

My former evangelical church died. One of the reasons, among many, was it was not child friendly. I even experienced the senior pastor yelling during a sermon, for a mother to get a slightly noisy baby to the nursery. I cringed. Soon, for this reason, as well as many others, there were no families with young children. The whole place communicated "young children unwelcome here." Fellowship hall was decorated with lots of fragile stuff, no games or such here, it was set up for catered banquets that many of our families with children strained to afford. When this pastor died, some of the remaining leadership tried to right the course, but it was too late. When I preached, I was never interrupted by crying babies, because there were none. Just a bunch of bickering senior citizens, I nearly rolled off my chair when I heard the "Grumble Song" the first time. I as an elder, was among the youngest members. Eventually it became financially unsustainable. It failed partially because of economics, and partially because much of my generation, and those younger than me felt unwelcome. Other factors played into it as well.

So when I hear crying children, when I am approached during a social time by a child with a book asking me to read it to them, or with a piece of artwork, I rejoice. I would far rather preach over a crying child than to NEVER have to do this. It means we have a future.

This was extremely common in evangelical circles in the 1980s/1990s. The homeschooling movement tended to be in direct conflict with the above type of approach and started the "family integrated church" movement (which proposes that children should stay with parents during the service).

Interestingly, conservative Anabaptists have always been comfortable with both - they may have Sunday school classes for children but have children back in the auditorium for the main service. Eventually once mature enough they may earn the privilege to sit with their friends but that's after they've learned to be quiet in the service.

More interestingly, the CAs keep a quiet church service despite many fussy babies and children. When guests come they are often surprised (and often embarrassed if their own children aren't behaving as well). A place that is diligent about welcoming worldly people into the church makes them feel comfortable. I have heard many testimonies of worldly people who visited church, came with their kids who were crawling under the pews, and one of the other ladies offered to help entertain one of the children and they actually made it through sitting thru a whole service. (One such lady had two children, out of wedlock... last I heard they're both married now in the church, 20 years later. What a wonderful testimony.)