Social interaction

[Ernie]

I have observed people with varying levels of social interaction. I’m talking about adults, not children. What exactly does broad social interaction do for a person? What happens when a person has little to no social interaction, or narrow, and limited social interactions?

Some people naturally prefer 3 silver dollars and don't need or want a lot more. On the other end of the spectrum are those who seem to like having 300 pennies and a few nickels.

Me? I like one silver dollar, about 4 quarters, about 10 dimes, about 20 nickels, and about 100 pennies.

God did make us different. But my hunch is that the 3 silver dollars folks tend to be a little naive about a lot of things, yet they may know much about a few topics and can be an expert on those. These folks can find many social activities scary, and be a bit awkward in relationships.

The 300 penny and a few nickles folks tend to have rather shallow relationships. Its all about the last person they met and how great he is... until 6 months later when he disappoints them. Then they are off to find a new friend.

What constitutes good social interactions? Does good social interaction contribute to mental health? What constitutes bad social interaction?
Is having increasingly less social interaction a bad thing in a persons life?
How does this apply to Christians?

I think good social interactions are those where a person is always learning and experiences delight in others and delight from others. (there is a part of our brains that grows physically when people delight in us.) Good social interaction includes having friends who will speak hard things to you and who will take hard counsel from you.

Yes, I think good social interactions tends to contribute to better mental health. Bad social interaction is characterized by tension in nearly every relationship one attempts. Increasingly less social interaction often indicates that not good things are happening in a persons life and psyche.

Christians have the toolbox for experiencing some of the best social interactions if they acquaint themselves with it and avail themselves of it.

[mike]

Good social interaction includes having friends who will speak hard things to you and who will take hard counsel from you.

I think that this is one of the reasons social isolation may cause eccentricities. Like it or not, we all really need this.

[barnhart]

In his famous 1995 essay "Bowling alone" which was later expanded into a book, Robert Putnam observed a trend of increasing social isolation in American culture. This was an established trend pre-internet. We are at least 35 or 40 years into a cultural experiment of rejecting broad social contact and finding meaning and purpose in individual expression, (cue Frank Sinatra "I did it MY way" theme song).

I suspect churches have been holdouts against the flow, but the trend has finally caught up there as well. Some saw a big shift during the pandemic, but I only saw an uptick in a long established trend. Here on mennonet, if you read between the lines you can see struggles to socialize in groups like churches, it seems that healthy, long term social groups are rare.

[Soloist]

Good social interaction includes having friends who will speak hard things to you and who will take hard counsel from you.

I think that this is one of the reasons social isolation may cause eccentricities. Like it or not, we all really need this.

That two way street I rarely see with MB and NMB. I had a relationship like that once with a NMB, I lost it though over a severe misunderstanding.

[Josh]

In his famous 1995 essay "Bowling alone" which was later expanded into a book, Robert Putnam observed a trend of increasing social isolation in American culture. This was an established trend pre-internet. We are at least 35 or 40 years into a cultural experiment of rejecting broad social contact and finding meaning and purpose in individual expression, (cue Frank Sinatra "I did it MY way" theme song).

I suspect churches have been holdouts against the flow, but the trend has finally caught up there as well. Some saw a big shift during the pandemic, but I only saw an uptick in a long established trend. Here on mennonet, if you read between the lines you can see struggles to socialize in groups like churches, it seems that healthy, long term social groups are rare.

And this is seeping into Mennonite circles, even conservative groups. If you interact at all with lower Amish groups, it is striking how much they aren’t affected by this and their level of social health reflects my grandparents’.

An example is that they always know their neighbours on both sides plus the ones on the other side of the road.

[Sliceitup]

In his famous 1995 essay "Bowling alone" which was later expanded into a book, Robert Putnam observed a trend of increasing social isolation in American culture. This was an established trend pre-internet. We are at least 35 or 40 years into a cultural experiment of rejecting broad social contact and finding meaning and purpose in individual expression, (cue Frank Sinatra "I did it MY way" theme song).

I suspect churches have been holdouts against the flow, but the trend has finally caught up there as well. Some saw a big shift during the pandemic, but I only saw an uptick in a long established trend. Here on mennonet, if you read between the lines you can see struggles to socialize in groups like churches, it seems that healthy, long term social groups are rare.

It’s really hard to find a new social circle when you’ve built one around your church, and then for one reason or another, that church is no longer one you attend. It’s very isolating to realize you were friends with those people due to proximity, not some true bond.

[Josh]

It’s really hard to find a new social circle when you’ve built one around your church, and then for one reason or another, that church is no longer one you attend. It’s very isolating to realize you were friends with those people due to proximity, not some true bond.

Or perhaps choosing to leave a church means the person who left chose to sever those bonds, and often adopt a lifestyle that is at deviance with the lifestyle people in that church feel convicted to live.

Some people have left our church and whilst I'm more than happy to visit them, I don't really enjoy sitting around hearing them explain right wing conspiracy theories and talk about Donald Trump endlessly. Since they have left, they have a new focus in life and many of them get more into politics and that makes socialising with them more difficult.

[Sliceitup]

It’s really hard to find a new social circle when you’ve built one around your church, and then for one reason or another, that church is no longer one you attend. It’s very isolating to realize you were friends with those people due to proximity, not some true bond.

Or perhaps choosing to leave a church means the person who left chose to sever those bonds, and often adopt a lifestyle that is at deviance with the lifestyle people in that church feel convicted to live.

Some people have left our church and whilst I'm more than happy to visit them, I don't really enjoy sitting around hearing them explain right wing conspiracy theories and talk about Donald Trump endlessly. Since they have left, they have a new focus in life and many of them get more into politics and that makes socialising with them more difficult.

I understand that. I’m a fan of socializing with people who are not constantly talking about things I don’t like to listen to. And it’s not that I have any ill will toward the people who remained at that church. It’s just a very lonely feeling.

[Josh]

It would seem if one changes churches, one could find fellowship and social interaction with people at the new church.

I have been in a church where the majority of people left another church to come there. Yet, they were still busy socialising in the old church’s social circles. That meant they had a lot less time to socialise with people like me.

[AndersonD]

An example is that they always know their neighbours on both sides plus the ones on the other side of the road.

I am surrounded with many neighbors, and "know" all of them but am neighborly with only a few of them. The others lead very insular lives and personally, I don't know how they survive w/o friends. So I can only imagine what it must be like to live in a predominantly Amish/ Mennonite community and have an umbrella of care and support. I'm sure it varies but overall I believe they are very neighborly when compared w society.