Can we make MN less hostile?

[Szdfan]

Ok...I think people who frequently whine about how persecuted they are but consistently dismiss other people's experiences of hardship or oppression are not safe people to relate to. I'm talking about those kinds of red flags.

I can understand that. Different red flags then I thought was being alluded to. I would hope if you included me in that you would tell me as I don’t wish to be dismissive of someone’s hardship.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

[Szdfan]

resorting to google definitions is not a goal for me, the marriage quote doesn’t resonate, i didn’t open the video.
google has proven, everything on google is filtered for lib bias and requires scrutiny (beyond its value).

So don't read it or engage with it. I don't see the value in constantly announcing your refusal to read and understand things.

[temporal1]

resorting to google definitions is not a goal for me, the marriage quote doesn’t resonate, i didn’t open the video.
google has proven, everything on google is filtered for lib bias and requires scrutiny (beyond its value).

So don't read it or engage with it. I don't see the value in constantly announcing your refusal to read and understand things.

boot regularly uses inviting hortatory pronouns, i sometimes respond. i often avoid response to him.
believe it or not, i’m not present for your spankings.

o.wait!
it’s not ok for me to briefly comment on above - but your lengthy paragraphs to the very same are .. edifying, i presume.
nice.

elsewhere, i recently agreed to take responsibility for my poor writing skills and your reading skills.
(in that case you shared your trouble understanding me, detailing some of my shortcomings.) that’s ok. i’ll cover that for you!

[nett]

If I google "toxic communication", I find things like this:

https://www.kylielepri.com.au/4-toxic-c ... ationship/

Which is actually based on this:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-h ... newalling/

This originally came from marital therapy, not from anything political. And it makes sense to me. For instance, here's an example they give of contempt:



Here's a good video on the topic:

https://youtu.be/1o30Ps-_8is

I think you've made my case for me.

We're not married, and there is no emotional relationship here, this is just an exchange of ideas via written word. Toxic communication is not a concept that should be employed here. It appeals to an emotional concept that has no meaning on an internet forum.

I guess I need to be explicit because the implicit isn't communicating.

Toxic communication doesn't just happen between married people. I think a lot of the interactions here on MN are toxic and I include myself in my critique. I have certainly contributed my share at times to the putrid cesspool that is MennoNet. Trolling you with Old English is not healthy. So I think it's healthier for me to avoid engaging with you. I don't think you know the difference between insulting people and the exchange of ideas. You seem to think that insulting people means you're "winning" and honestly, I don't have the time and energy to feed that.

Feel free to post whatever you want. I'm free to think that your constant stream of insults is tedious, boring, and juvenile. I'm free to consider your misappropriation of "grooming" language to characterize queers and transpeople as sexual predators and pedophiles as BS. I'm free to think that this kind of dehumanizing rhetoric is an indicator that you hate queer people. I'm free to believe that your constant stream of insults reveals something about who you are.

You literally know nothing about me, my relationships with any queer people, or my experiences with it.

Am I to take from your post that you have a problem with pedophiles? Are you insinuating by your negative association that they are somehow lesser people? Seems rather dehumanizing to me.

There's nothing in the rules for this forum that says that I have to respond to your demonization and dehumanization of people who don't agree with you. I don't see a point. If your goal is to convince me of your opinion, demonizing trans and gay people I know is not the way to do it, regardless of how much you rant and rail that you have the "Truth."

I'm aware you think homosexuality is perfectly acceptable. Having some experience with MCUSA people like yourself, I'm relatively no person or argument will ever change your mind, except maybe some kind of divine intervention.

And for the record, I don't think everyone who believes that homosexuality is a sin is a homophobe. Bootstrap and I have argued over these issues for over a decade and I don't think he's a homophobe. I think his beliefs often put him in direct and painful conflict with his family and loved ones. I don't agree with Boot, but I also want to honor the difficult space he's often in.

In our discussions, I don't think there's space to hear each other or to struggle together over an issue.

You explicitly told Soloist you didn't owe him a response, and never responded to his direct questions. Unless he has engaged in the same dehumanizing you accuse me of, I'm left to believe this is unrelated to any of the fabricated complaints you have above. So far I just see a pattern of someone who scurries off behind the I don't owe a response defense anytime the questions get too hard.

[nett]

I'm not trying to be inflammatory, I just don't think that posting all the things I don't like about Josh is helpful.

So if I say you have red flags in your posts you wouldn’t find that inflammatory?
Generally there is some specific things being implied by saying “red flags” and you as a teacher would know exactly what you were saying.

Ok...I think people who frequently whine about how persecuted they are but consistently dismiss other people's experiences of hardship or oppression are not safe people to relate to. I'm talking about those kinds of red flags.

When have I ever said I'm persecuted, or dismissed another's hardship? Please point me to the post.

[Josh]

Szd,

I think people who frequently whine about how persecuted they are but consistently dismiss other people's experiences of hardship or oppression are not safe people to relate to.

Exactly who here does this? Political discussions don’t count.

Of course, some of us don’t think that it is “hardship and oppression” not to engage in whatever sexual activity someone desires. I think that is reasonable.

I will note that much ink gets spilled about the “hardship” and “oppression” of lgbt people. Why don’t single people get nearly as much attention and care and concern? It’s hard to be single and lonely and get older as the years go by. I would be more impressed if such people got anywhere close to the amount of attention that lgbt people who desire to engage in immorality do.

[Bootstrap]

Szd,

I think people who frequently whine about how persecuted they are but consistently dismiss other people's experiences of hardship or oppression are not safe people to relate to.

Exactly who here does this? Political discussions don’t count.

Why don't political discussions count? They make up the bulk of discussion on MN, and certainly the bulk of the conflict. And people seem to play by different rules in political discussions. Some of the most prolific posters here post primarily about politics. So I think politics counts. And if we take our Two Kingdom heritage seriously as Mennonite, our relationship to the polis is an important part of our faith.

When we study a Bible passage together, we tend to act like Christians.

When we discuss political issues ... well, some people start to look a lot like the people who produce the videos and talking points they are promoting here, batting away facts by mocking, or by saying that someone who disagrees is not worth engaging with, or ... These threads show that (1) we aren't "aloof from politics", and (2) when we discuss politics, we often follow the world's lead, not thinking about the Kingdom versus the world, but thinking conservative versus liberal.

[steve-in-kville]

This place is feisty today. Robert must have put something in the water trough

[Bootstrap]

If I google "toxic communication", I find things like this:

https://www.kylielepri.com.au/4-toxic-c ... ationship/

Which is actually based on this:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-h ... newalling/

This originally came from marital therapy, not from anything political. And it makes sense to me. For instance, here's an example they give of contempt:

“You’re ‘tired?’ Cry me a river. I’ve been with the kids all day, running around like mad to keep this house going and all you do when you come home from work is flop down on that sofa like a child and play those idiotic video games. I don’t have time to deal with another kid. Could you be any more pathetic?” 

Here's a good video on the topic:

https://youtu.be/1o30Ps-_8is

I think you've made my case for me.

We're not married, and there is no emotional relationship here, this is just an exchange of ideas via written word. Toxic communication is not a concept that should be employed here. It appeals to an emotional concept that has no meaning on an internet forum.

Well, I'm glad we're not married. I'm going to stick with my wife.

But I think your posts contain quite a bit of emotion sometimes, they are not just an exchange of ideas, and your posts tell people how to feel about other people. That's all relationship stuff. Not like marriage, more like middle school, the kind of hurtful things that middle school kids say to build themselves up by tearing others down. And that's toxic.

[nett]

If I google "toxic communication", I find things like this:

https://www.kylielepri.com.au/4-toxic-c ... ationship/

Which is actually based on this:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-h ... newalling/

This originally came from marital therapy, not from anything political. And it makes sense to me. For instance, here's an example they give of contempt:



Here's a good video on the topic:

https://youtu.be/1o30Ps-_8is

I think you've made my case for me.

We're not married, and there is no emotional relationship here, this is just an exchange of ideas via written word. Toxic communication is not a concept that should be employed here. It appeals to an emotional concept that has no meaning on an internet forum.

Well, I'm glad we're not married. I'm going to stick with my wife.

But I think your posts contain quite a bit of emotion sometimes, they are not just an exchange of ideas, and your posts tell people how to feel about other people. That's all relationship stuff. Not like marriage, more like middle school, the kind of hurtful things that middle school kids say to build themselves up by tearing others down. And that's toxic.

For example?