What they wore

[steve-in-kville]

15 years ago I heard from a colleague that one out of three young, moderate-progressive conservative Anabaptist women were molested at some point before 18 yrs. old. But there were no details as to whether this was minor-minor or adult-to-minor.

I hate to say it, but I think that it is closer to being true than many of us care to admit.

[Ken]

15 years ago I heard from a colleague that one out of three young, moderate-progressive conservative Anabaptist women were molested at some point before 18 yrs. old. But there were no details as to whether this was minor-minor or adult-to-minor.

Understanding the meaning of this statistic would depend on your definition of "molested"

Are we talking about a "handsy" uncle who might have given a bit too long of a hug at a family Christmas celebration that made some girl uncomfortable at one time, a school boy who snapped a girl's bra strap, or are we talking about sexual assault.

Note: I'm not excusing any of that sort of behavior. Just pointing out that we need actual definitions to understand what that number means.

[steve-in-kville]

... a school boy who snapped a girl's bra strap....

That just brought back memories of middle school

(For the record, I never participated but was happening all around me)

[Ernie]

Are we talking about a "handsy" uncle who might have given a bit too long of a hug at a family Christmas celebration that made some girl uncomfortable at one time, a school boy who snapped a girl's bra strap, or are we talking about sexual assault.

I understood it to mean sexual assault.

[Soloist]

Are we talking about a "handsy" uncle who might have given a bit too long of a hug at a family Christmas celebration that made some girl uncomfortable at one time, a school boy who snapped a girl's bra strap, or are we talking about sexual assault.

I understood it to mean sexual assault.

Under the more modern definition, I've been sexually assaulted in the military.

[Josh]

15 years ago I heard from a colleague that one out of three young, moderate-progressive conservative Anabaptist women were molested at some point before 18 yrs. old. But there were no details as to whether this was minor-minor or adult-to-minor.

There are a lot of questionable statistics out there, such as the claim that 1 in 3 women get molested during their lifetime and that 1 in 5 women get assaulted at college. (Are colleges actually that dangerous?)

The 1 in 3 figure sounds extremely bogus, particularly if you know someone plugged into the “gossip network” who seems to know about every case of molestation, alleged molestation, and otherwise. I would venture that it is much closer to 1 or 2 families per congregation over a 20 year timespan. Of course, that’s 1 or 2 too many, but the above statistic implies every family on average has a daughter who’s been molested (assuming a family size of 6 on average). That seems patently absurd.

[Szdfan]

15 years ago I heard from a colleague that one out of three young, moderate-progressive conservative Anabaptist women were molested at some point before 18 yrs. old. But there were no details as to whether this was minor-minor or adult-to-minor.

There are a lot of questionable statistics out there, such as the claim that 1 in 3 women get molested during their lifetime and that 1 in 5 women get assaulted at college. (Are colleges actually that dangerous?)

The 1 in 3 figure sounds extremely bogus, particularly if you know someone plugged into the “gossip network” who seems to know about every case of molestation, alleged molestation, and otherwise. I would venture that it is much closer to 1 or 2 families per congregation over a 20 year timespan. Of course, that’s 1 or 2 too many, but the above statistic implies every family on average has a daughter who’s been molested (assuming a family size of 6 on average). That seems patently absurd.

The only questionable statistic here is Josh’s, who is now making statistics up out of thin air.

[nett]

The only questionable statistic here is Josh’s, who is now making statistics up out of thin air.

That's a very ignorant, and useless thing to say. If you don't have anything constructive to add, silence is always an option.

Ken correctly pointed out that defining sexual assault or rape is now very difficult due to things like "post-intercourse withdrawal of consent"

[Szdfan]

The only questionable statistic here is Josh’s, who is now making statistics up out of thin air.

That's a very ignorant, and useless thing to say. If you don't have anything constructive to add, silence is always an option.

Ken correctly pointed out that defining sexual assault or rape is now very difficult due to things like "post-intercourse withdrawal of consent"

But it’s not an actual statistic. Josh is discounting actual statistics with something that he’s completely making up,

[Sliceitup]

15 years ago I heard from a colleague that one out of three young, moderate-progressive conservative Anabaptist women were molested at some point before 18 yrs. old. But there were no details as to whether this was minor-minor or adult-to-minor.

There are a lot of questionable statistics out there, such as the claim that 1 in 3 women get molested during their lifetime and that 1 in 5 women get assaulted at college. (Are colleges actually that dangerous?)

The 1 in 3 figure sounds extremely bogus, particularly if you know someone plugged into the “gossip network” who seems to know about every case of molestation, alleged molestation, and otherwise. I would venture that it is much closer to 1 or 2 families per congregation over a 20 year timespan. Of course, that’s 1 or 2 too many, but the above statistic implies every family on average has a daughter who’s been molested (assuming a family size of 6 on average). That seems patently absurd.

I hope that these statistics you’re imagining are actually true for the women in your life.

It is not absurd to think that a family of six would have at least one daughter that is molested. It’s not at all unusual for a girl to have been touched over the clothing against her will by at least one person. Sometimes it’s peers their own age, sometimes it’s very brief, but non the less, I doubt anyone likes being grabbed in the crotch or breasts by someone who was definitely not invited or encouraged to do so. It’s also not unusual for girls to be touched under their clothing by someone. And the amount of young teen girls who are groomed into sexual relationships with men twice their age is atrocious.

If you ask a woman if she’s ever been sexually abused she might often say no, but if you start asking questions like the following you are likely to get a more accurate response.
- “has anyone ever grabbed you in ‘specific area’ without you wanting them to do that?”
- “has anyone ever touched you beneath your clothing in a sexual way when you were under the age of 13?”
- “have you been touched inappropriately by someone more than 4 years older than you when you were below the age of 16?”

As I said above, I hope you’re right about this happening far less than the ‘one in six’ that we commonly hear. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if the women in your life have ever been honest with you about their experiences. Because I when I have real, raw, honest, discussions with women about this subject I find the numbers are worse than 1 in 6.