The Anabaptist perspective towards dating and/or courtship?

[Grace]

Divorce rates are lowest with couples who have more education and get married at a later age. They are highest with couples with less education who get married young.

That may be true among the world. But among the conservative Anabaptist element, that is not true

[Soloist]

Divorce rates are lowest with couples who have more education and get married at a later age. They are highest with couples with less education who get married young.

That may be true among the world. But among the conservative Anabaptist element, that is not true

Just about every single one of my coworkers is divorced. Some on their third marriage. Among the plain people I know... I've heard of 1 separation that got back together after some time, 1 divorce... Thats easily out of a few hundred couples. I'm sure there is more I don't know about but most of the divorce cases I've heard of are among seekers. When I was in college, I only knew one professor who was married to his first wife and most of the students married were on seconds.
All this to say, there is a significant difference between Conservative Anabaptists and people outside of them. The kissing person I mentioned earlier is a case of exaggeration by a 7 year old. No kissing involved outside of imagination.

[Grace]

Just about every single one of my coworkers is divorced. Some on their third marriage. Among the plain people I know... I've heard of 1 separation that got back together after some time, 1 divorce... Thats easily out of a few hundred couples. I'm sure there is more I don't know about but most of the divorce cases I've heard of are among seekers. When I was in college, I only knew one professor who was married to his first wife and most of the students married were on seconds.
All this to say, there is a significant difference between Conservative Anabaptists and people outside of them. The kissing person I mentioned earlier is a case of exaggeration by a 7 year old. No kissing involved outside of imagination.

Ken seems to imply that the uneducated, and those married younger, have a higher divorce rate. Here in Lancaster County we have thousands of marriages among Conservative Anabaptists, who married in their early 20’s, some even in their late teens, who also have no high school education, and divorce is almost unheard of among them.

[Josh]

The terms don't matter to me. People who react against one or the other are typically reacting against certain behavior, not the terms themselves. In any culture, regardless of the terms and even the particular customs, singles are going to have their ways of determining partners they are interested in, whether that person is also interested in them, and whether they will be compatible marriage partners. Standards on non-married relationships should be the biblical standard of sexual purity and all other principles that should govern relationships. There is no ideal length for courtship but naturally maturity is a factor.

People say maturity is a factor.

Yet people get married late in life now (29 and 30 is the norm) and immorality and divorce are sky high.

Divorce rates are lowest with couples who have more education and get married at a later age. They are highest with couples with less education who get married young.

Yet amongst plain folk with 8th grade educations, divorce is virtually nonexistent. Okay

[justme]

Yet amongst plain folk with 8th grade educations, divorce is virtually nonexistent. Okay

that's because once they get divorced, they are no longer plain.
and also, how many unhappy marriages are there, who if they were "allowed" to get divorced, they would do so?

[Ken]

People say maturity is a factor.

Yet people get married late in life now (29 and 30 is the norm) and immorality and divorce are sky high.

Divorce rates are lowest with couples who have more education and get married at a later age. They are highest with couples with less education who get married young.

Yet amongst plain folk with 8th grade educations, divorce is virtually nonexistent. Okay

Yes, I will grant you that the plain world of conservative Mennos and Amish is a different world from wider society.

In wider society, divorce rates are most certainly inversely correlated with education and age of marriage.

In plain society, divorce is extremely uncommon. But we also hear about epidemics of abuse and unhappy marriages as well.

I would venture to say that both societies have their own strengths and points of weakness that need addressing when it comes to family life, marriage, dating, etc. But they are obviously different ones.

[Josh]

Yet amongst plain folk with 8th grade educations, divorce is virtually nonexistent. Okay

that's because once they get divorced, they are no longer plain.
and also, how many unhappy marriages are there, who if they were "allowed" to get divorced, they would do so?

Is the world’s way somehow better? Do you think it’s a good thing for “unhappy” people to get divorced?

What does the Bible say?

[justme]

all i'm saying, is, the numbers look good on paper, but the reality isn't as good.

[Ken]

Just about every single one of my coworkers is divorced. Some on their third marriage. Among the plain people I know... I've heard of 1 separation that got back together after some time, 1 divorce... Thats easily out of a few hundred couples. I'm sure there is more I don't know about but most of the divorce cases I've heard of are among seekers. When I was in college, I only knew one professor who was married to his first wife and most of the students married were on seconds.
All this to say, there is a significant difference between Conservative Anabaptists and people outside of them. The kissing person I mentioned earlier is a case of exaggeration by a 7 year old. No kissing involved outside of imagination.

Ken seems to imply that the uneducated, and those married younger, have a higher divorce rate. Here in Lancaster County we have thousands of marriages among Conservative Anabaptists, who married in their early 20’s, some even in their late teens, who also have no high school education, and divorce is almost unheard of among them.

On a national basis it is most certainly the case that divorce rates are inversely correlated with education and age of marriage. I can find you lots of graphs and tables to make the point or you can find them yourself. As far as Lancaster County goes, I will defer to your experience there.

[Josh]

all i'm saying, is, the numbers look good on paper, but the reality isn't as good.

So is the reality in the world somehow better?

Not getting divorced is a very good thing. Getting divorced is almost always bad. I’m not sure why anyone would think we need more divorce.