ragpicker wrote: ↑Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:24 am
I was miserable under the burden of sin. I called the preacher Dale Martin at 2 am one morning. He graciously invited me over and I confessed everything (or so I thought). As I prepared to leave, he gently reminded me that this would result in excommunication. I replied that I was aware of that but I didn't care. I just wanted to be right with God. (I mention Dale's name because he was kind and I will forever be grateful for his kindness that night.)
I was excommunicated the following Sunday morning. On Tuesday I remembered the casino visit. It came as a jolt. I wrestled, because I knew how it would be interpreted (that's a red flag right there, y'all), but I decided I was going all the way, regardless if people believed me or not.
So I confessed this thing too. The next day, after prayer meeting I was summoned to the basement to the upper grade school room for a meeting with the ministry. There, I was informed of their disappointment. They told me they believed my sincerity at first, but that one does not simply forget such a major sin. They were glad I went through with confessing, but because of my lack of sincerity, they were placing me under the ban. That meant zero social interaction, zero meals with members except with the immediate family I lived with, etc. This was all clearly spelled out to me, and the words "ban" and "shunning" were used.
They were wrong to do this to you. While perhaps an argument for holding you in proving longer could be made, this is totally not Biblical and is flat out abuse.
Yes. It was devastating to me, and was a significant driver of the bitterness that for years consumed my heart. Some of the denizens of the old MD witnessed that bitterness and the repentance of it.
But I got the ultimate revenge. I forgave them and I love them. I literally go out of my way to connect with some of the people involved. I have no pain. I am grateful for the journey.
Amen! I haven't got the feeling of bitterness reading your posts, perhaps too much knowledge of evil going on... but not bitterness. As for the evil comment I say that to the shame of those, not you.
I have testimony on tape of chilling corruption by a now deceased top dog bishop and R&S board member. I have visited for hours with this man. I have family who were in top leadership at R&S. I have experienced things and witnessed things that should never be named in the church of Christ. When you are an unbeliever and break into the preacher's house when he is out of town, and access the preacher's meeting notes and discover gross and clear corruption, by the same people who were constantly haranguing you to get your life right with God, it messes with you big time.
When you know the man who just encouraged you to get right with God is fooling around with his daughters, it messes with you.
When you access another famous preacher's files and discover a file filled with a weird obsession about sexual matters, and sexualized advertising, and it's the same guy, never mind, I don't wanna give a hint who it was, it messes with you.
When you surreptitiously record a meeting with the preachers and their sidekick, then in a subsequent meeting bring up points and are told to your face that this never happened, and this is verified by everyone in the room, then you whip out your microcassette recorder and play back proof they are lying, and the immediate response is to jump your case for recording them and are told "it says you don't trust us", that messes with you.
I could go on about gross corruption and sin for hours and hours. And that's only the things I have directly witnessed and experienced.
I can say while my experience at my church has been rough and there are likely things that could be labeled as spiritual abuse, none of this has ever happened in my experience. This is horrible and I don't doubt the truth of what you are saying.
Can we just all admit our sins and repent instead? Is that asking too much?
I think that many sincere people have been held at arms length too long post confession, and too many have been welcomed back for insincere confessions... I think that some do it for power, and others do it by honest mistake.
Again, for emphasis... the systems are evil. The people, some are evil, most by far are sincere servants of the Lord.
I'm not sure I agree that the system itself is evil but I'm not sure I can properly grasp what you are calling the system has I have never experienced your side. I might send you my story privately later. I think that humans are capable of corrupting any system a man makes and attempts to use. A well meaning system can do much damage by a evil man.
Ultimately, I believe you and while perhaps I believe in a system you don't, it would seem you have plenty of reasons. I'm sorry for the evil you have personally had done against you.
That being said... I'm sorry... that seems a gross abuse of authority.