By Thy Words

[ABC 123]

Sure, toss the CM life. Don't toss the truth they do teach. Much of what they practice is Biblical and far better then most of the "worldly" churches out there, they assuredly do have blind spots too, but so do you.

Almost everytime i try to sort this stuff out, I am told this very thing. It is like swimming in jello.

Well... Pick your jello well. You will answer for it.

I think you make light of my angst.

[Soloist]

Almost everytime i try to sort this stuff out, I am told this very thing. It is like swimming in jello.

Well... Pick your jello well. You will answer for it.

I think you make light of my angst.

Well... I have experienced the same. The expression "eat the meat and spit out the bones"... Thats my jello.

[Sliceitup]

You have valid points. I know there are many who have been traumatized by spiritual abuse and my heart goes out to them.

However how does anyone stop it from continuing? We have relatives and friends still in very conservative churches, whom we love dearly. I have no doubt the people we know in Conservative churches are saved and love the Lord, even with all the added rules and guidlines. And what is more important? Is it up to us to attempt to change these churches or is it up to the Lord to work in the hearts and minds of the people. Will a Facebook page change anything? I highly doubt it.

Will a Facebook page change anything? Maybe not in the way you are thinking, but it can definitely be helpful for those of us who are processing how these types of teachings have damaged us and our relationships.

Some of the recent posts have referenced the way husbands and wives are to interact in public. If you think those teachings don’t affect marriages in very real ways, then you can be exceedingly grateful it has never affected you in that way. My spouse has very real issues with it and is hesitant to even hold my hand in public. I struggle with this, because it makes me feel as if the love between us is something embarrassing, or maybe, I’m the embarrassing one, and my spouse is not proud of me. It feeds into some of my deepest insecurities. The teaching that couples should pay little or no attention to each other in public is so hurtful to me, and leaves me feeling alienated from my spouse during and after family gatherings.

[Soloist]

You have valid points. I know there are many who have been traumatized by spiritual abuse and my heart goes out to them.

However how does anyone stop it from continuing? We have relatives and friends still in very conservative churches, whom we love dearly. I have no doubt the people we know in Conservative churches are saved and love the Lord, even with all the added rules and guidlines. And what is more important? Is it up to us to attempt to change these churches or is it up to the Lord to work in the hearts and minds of the people. Will a Facebook page change anything? I highly doubt it.

Will a Facebook page change anything? Maybe not in the way you are thinking, but it can definitely be helpful for those of us who are processing how these types of teachings have damaged us and our relationships.

Some of the recent posts have referenced the way husbands and wives are to interact in public. If you think those teachings don’t affect marriages in very real ways, then you can be exceedingly grateful it has never affected you in that way. My spouse has very real issues with it and is hesitant to even hold my hand in public. I struggle with this, because it makes me feel as if the love between us is something embarrassing, or maybe, I’m the embarrassing one, and my spouse is not proud of me. It feeds into some of my deepest insecurities. The teaching that couples should pay little or no attention to each other in public is so hurtful to me, and leaves me feeling alienated from my spouse during and after family gatherings.

I have never had any Mennonite correct me on holding my wife's hand, hugging her or even giving her a quick kiss in public. The military on the other hand has strict rules on PDA and you do not even hold hands. Full stop its not allowed and you will be spoken to even out of uniform on base. We were corrected, privately but still corrected and there is teeth in that order.

At the same time, do you see an appropriate limit to touching your spouse? this is effectively what is being taught, everyone has different lines.

[Josh]

I am not privy to the several incidents referred to in the last couple post. Probably similar to the ones I do have knowledge of.

Had I known so much of this back when I was shown the shined up side of CM-ism, I might've canceled my subscription to this CM life at the very beginning.

You may be disappointed to find that similar things exist outside of CM life, and outside of Christian life as well.

[Sudsy]

I believe God is the Great Physician. There isn't a wound He cannot heal. None of us are scarred for life. But like any hurts we must be willing to let go and part of letting go is to leave the past with God and seek His guidance and power in moving forward.

Don't know if this will help others like it helps me but a book (free download on the Internet) I read and re-read a few years back called 'The Bait of Satan' (living free from the deadly trap of offense) may be an answer. This book can reveal through the Holy Spirit where we may be harboring bitterness, painful memories, and resentment instead of releasing them to the Lord. 

'If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.' John 8:36

[TruthSeeker]

In walking with post-traumatic church syndrome survivors, I've noted that some need affirmation that what they're feeling is valid and that they aren't crazy before they can move forward in their healing. There are also folks who need to tell and retell their experiences for a season until they grasp that they are not their story. And, for true and lasting growth to occur, seasons can never be fast-forwarded!

[danfreed]

"I believe God is the Great Physician. There isn't a wound He cannot heal. None of us are scarred for life. But like any hurts we must be willing to let go and part of letting go is to leave the past with God and seek His guidance and power in moving forward.

'If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.' John 8:36"


Thank you for these healing words of encouragement, Sudsy. Words can hurt, words can heal. Your words are truly healing to me. Jesus wants all His followers to demonstrate His healing love in our relationships. Especially in our words.

Thanks also for the Bevere book recommendation - I just ordered it, and look forward to learning more about living free in Jesus. I have had enough of taking the bait in Satan's mousetrap . . . the Deadly Trap of Offense ...

My chains are gone
I've been set free.

Dan

[Sliceitup]

You have valid points. I know there are many who have been traumatized by spiritual abuse and my heart goes out to them.

However how does anyone stop it from continuing? We have relatives and friends still in very conservative churches, whom we love dearly. I have no doubt the people we know in Conservative churches are saved and love the Lord, even with all the added rules and guidlines. And what is more important? Is it up to us to attempt to change these churches or is it up to the Lord to work in the hearts and minds of the people. Will a Facebook page change anything? I highly doubt it.

Will a Facebook page change anything? Maybe not in the way you are thinking, but it can definitely be helpful for those of us who are processing how these types of teachings have damaged us and our relationships.

Some of the recent posts have referenced the way husbands and wives are to interact in public. If you think those teachings don’t affect marriages in very real ways, then you can be exceedingly grateful it has never affected you in that way. My spouse has very real issues with it and is hesitant to even hold my hand in public. I struggle with this, because it makes me feel as if the love between us is something embarrassing, or maybe, I’m the embarrassing one, and my spouse is not proud of me. It feeds into some of my deepest insecurities. The teaching that couples should pay little or no attention to each other in public is so hurtful to me, and leaves me feeling alienated from my spouse during and after family gatherings.

I have never had any Mennonite correct me on holding my wife's hand, hugging her or even giving her a quick kiss in public. The military on the other hand has strict rules on PDA and you do not even hold hands. Full stop its not allowed and you will be spoken to even out of uniform on base. We were corrected, privately but still corrected and there is teeth in that order.

At the same time, do you see an appropriate limit to touching your spouse? this is effectively what is being taught, everyone has different lines.

Of course there’s no official rule that I know of. Not to mention our affiliation is much more liberal and it’s common for couples to hold hands in our setting. The point is that those teachings and attitudes were ingrained at a young age to the extent that they are permanent, short of some serious counseling.

Yes everyone has different lines. But that’s not what is being taught. What is being taught is that God has a line.

[Sliceitup]

I believe God is the Great Physician. There isn't a wound He cannot heal. None of us are scarred for life. But like any hurts we must be willing to let go and part of letting go is to leave the past with God and seek His guidance and power in moving forward.

Don't know if this will help others like it helps me but a book (free download on the Internet) I read and re-read a few years back called 'The Bait of Satan' (living free from the deadly trap of offense) may be an answer. This book can reveal through the Holy Spirit where we may be harboring bitterness, painful memories, and resentment instead of releasing them to the Lord. 

'If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.' John 8:36

I don’t know if this comment was made with my post in mind, but if it was: please don’t mistake being able to discuss an issue that has caused hurts to be the same as bitterness and resentment.