Can we make MN less hostile?

[Robert]

Can you see if you have any Weber 7445 tables in stock?

Nope, but I could order one for you. I tend to say that a lot very day. Not about Weber, but much of what people look for.

[MaxPC]

I'd venture to guess the majority of flagged threads are in the Politics forum. I'd also venture to guess the flags come from the same few people.

And from the same people about the same people. There are those who carry grudges against others who have provided honest accountability feedback.

Just like my workplace: there's always that one person running to the HR office every other day...

That behavior has always reminded me of children riding in the backseat: "Dad! He's touching me! He's looking at me! He's breathing!"

[Josh]

The difference back then was you didn’t end up fired every time your sibling complained you were looking at them.

[temporal1]

The difference back then was you didn’t end up fired every time your sibling complained you were looking at them.

another is that fathers were presumed to be present - and in the driving seat.

[Robert]

"I" statements people! Let us stop deciding what others should say and post and just post what we think.

I feel people are projecting into what others are saying WAY too much.

Ask a question if you think it sounds too harsh or incorrect instead of being the posting police and correcting the other poster.

If you can't ask a question, then make a statement about what you think or feel using an "I" statement, not a "you" statement.

If you want MN to be less harsh, stop attacking what others are posting. Just share YOUR perspective and stop correcting someone else.

[temporal1]

Love this. ^^^
It’s not new. Robert, you’ve repeated this over the years. With little variation.
i wanted to find it recently, but couldn’t.

So. Yay. A new version to chew on. In large print. For aging eyes.

[steve-in-kville]

"I" statements people! Let us stop deciding what others should say and post and just post what we think.

I feel people are projecting into what others are saying WAY too much.

Ask a question if you think it sounds too harsh or incorrect instead of being the posting police and correcting the other poster.

If you can't ask a question, then make a statement about what you think or feel using an "I" statement, not a "you" statement.

If you want MN to be less harsh, stop attacking what others are posting. Just share YOUR perspective and stop correcting someone else.

As of late, with some of the strong personalities we have on MN, I try to envision myself sitting across from the other poster at my local diner having breakfast. Granted, its hard to project tone of voice and body language (sarcasm, anyone?) by the written word, but I at least try.

(Unless the person really has it coming to them... the you get both barrels )

[Robert]

(Unless the person really has it coming to them... the you get both barrels )

And, boy can't we justify that often?

I like your suggestion. It does help to see a person instead of a target. We "white ninjas" have to train ourselves well so our darts only wound and are not lethal.

[Bootstrap]

"I" statements people! Let us stop deciding what others should say and post and just post what we think.

I have come to the point that I think it's important to address openly hostile goon squad threads. Threads that have the intent of heaping contempt on some person or group using the talking point controversy of the day. I think they are the major source of hostility here.

I don't think "I" statements are enough for that. I think pointing to basic Christian teaching on sins of speech is important. If someone posted gay porn here, would we respond using "I" statements, I would object to it. I quite generally object to goon squad threads. I don't know how to address that effectively using "I" statements alone.

And yes, I know that means that hostility often gets turned on me. But sometimes that's the price of speaking up against sin.

[Bootstrap]

(Unless the person really has it coming to them... the you get both barrels )

And, boy can't we justify that often?

I like your suggestion. It does help to see a person instead of a target. We "white ninjas" have to train ourselves well so our darts only wound and are not lethal.

Yes, in all of this we need to see the other person and not treat people as targets. And I also think it's important to avoid telling other people what they believe or what their motivations are. We should each speak for ourselves.

But regardless of beliefs or motivations, I think the goon squad threads drip in hostility. It's really easy to see who the targets are, how they want us to feel about who, it's often very hard to see what the facts are or whether the victims deserve it. We would have very different conversations if we focused on policy or identifiable facts on the same subjects. The goon squad thread comes straight out of Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals:

“Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” Cut off the support network and isolate the target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions.