Randal Martin on the CAM/Jeriah Debacle

[mike]

It makes me angry to read that some people made your daughter out to be the "bad guy." I had that experience too. Thank you for reminding your daughter that she did the right thing by speaking up.

Its not fun to get a call from her school guidance counselor telling me my daughter is having suicidal thoughts because her grandmother blamed her for "tearing the family apart."

Not cool.

That's so wrong. I can't imagine a child in that position.

[temporal1]

It makes me angry to read that some people made your daughter out to be the "bad guy." I had that experience too. Thank you for reminding your daughter that she did the right thing by speaking up.

Its not fun to get a call from her school guidance counselor telling me my daughter is having suicidal thoughts because her grandmother blamed her for "tearing the family apart."
Not cool.

I know what it's like to be blamed by family members, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your daughter. I hope she's doing ok now.

it’s profoundly wrong and ignorant.

when i was young, i believe it was common across religions and cultures.
a lot has changed. more is in process. more is being learned.

when i was young, children and teens were taught to be careful not to “ask for trouble,” to tempt - before we knew what trouble and temptation were! if/when things happened, the FIRST questions to victims from families, and others were, “what did you do?!” it was not by religion, or absence of religion.

families strongly respected and trusted church leaders, doctors, teachers.
when problems arose, children were presumed wrong, deep apologies made (often, now known, to perpetrators).

families worried about shame being cast on the family - by an errant child.
this is reported to continue in shocking ways in some contemporary cultures, like in India and Pakistan, etc.

my parents were strict and leaned in this direction. however, they were not rigid, not always blindly trusting of every authority figure or leader. they understood the potential for temptation+sin in every human, even in respected leaders. (that was pretty wild of them in those times.) altho strict, they were watchful and protective of children.

i definitely got messages that i was not to tempt men. to repeat, before i had any idea what that was.
in the past, the carnal was not spoken of and openly displayed and formally taught as it is today.
boys were presumed to know everything, girls were supposed to know nothing.

these topics would have been forbidden on a public forum. hard to locate anywhere.

it was confusing.
i’m not convinced today’s approach (to sex ed) is better. it comes with its own cost.
a different topic.

[steve-in-kville]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

[temporal1]

Articles like that are hard to read, not because of what was committed but how people rally around a known perpetrator.
Its a kick in the face to both the victims and their families.

Yes, I felt sick the evening I read that blog post.
I went and got Harold Herr's book and burnt it.

there is a primal instinct to want to bathe/cleanse oneself after abuse, to run from it and hide, not speak of it.
a few are willing and able to step up to face the storm. it’s unusual. many are quiet “to death” decades later.

100% understandable, introverting allows perpetrators to continue. i’ve known victims. none who spoke out.
in the past, victims were often convinced they were “the only one.” they “needed” to keep quiet.
today, it’s known, multiple victims are to be expected.

sin has a ripple effect.
Ernie, i’m sorry. this must have been a difficult moment.

[temporal1]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

Those ways run deep.
i’ve seen a lot of change. it’s not over.

just imagine victims in the past. most never stood a slight chance of even being acknowledged.
if acknowledged, they were blamed and outcast.

by everyday, regular people, even family, who just couldn’t imagine it.

[steve-in-kville]

just imagine victims in the past. most never stood a slight chance of even being acknowledged.
if acknowledged, they were blamed and outcast.

by everyday, regular people, even family, who just couldn’t imagine it.

This is a horrible thing to say but if we were still in the mennonite church, there would have been no justice. Same with the mennonite school our children attended. There was/is a very twisted culture among the boys in regards to sex.... quite disturbing.

[Josh]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

"Why won't victims agree to give an interview and share lots of details and names with our investigators?", asks an organisation like CAM.

[Soloist]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

"Why won't victims agree to give an interview and share lots of details and names with our investigators?", asks an organisation like CAM.

Likely the same reason no one wants to come forward... they fear nothing will be done... and they fear something will be done...

[Ernie]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

"Why won't victims agree to give an interview and share lots of details and names with our investigators?", asks an organisation like CAM.

Again, putting words and thoughts in peoples mouths that they didn't think or say, and painting everyone with a single paint brush. Could you stop this, please?

[KrisKramer]

I found out in a hurry how "old school" some of our distant family was. Comments like "why did she wait until now?", "why did she have to tell a teacher?", stuff like that.

"Why won't victims agree to give an interview and share lots of details and names with our investigators?", asks an organisation like CAM.

Again, putting words and thoughts in peoples mouths that they didn't think or say, and painting everyone with a single paint brush. Could you stop this, please?

I personally agree with what was said in regards to CAM. They supposedly want to interview victims but wouldn't agree to any terms that would protect said victims.

Uncle Dan would have met with CAM but they would not agree to anything he asked

so a thing like
"Why won't victims agree to give an interview and share lots of details and names with our investigators?", asks an organisation like CAM.
Is very true/close to actual