Church attendance by offenders

[barnhart]

Some months ago I had a brief visit with a young (now married) Amish woman who was molested by her grandfather. (I have known her through work relationships for many years.) We were talking about how this horrible thing had changed her own father into a caring and engaged father to his children, telling them that he loves them, and praying real prayers out of his own heart with them. (He told me about this himself several years ago, saying that his parents had never told him that they loved him, and that he didn't know that he could 'make up' his own prayers. Everything was out of the Amish prayer book. He told me how even his young children were embarrassed when he first started expressing his love for them. The older ones thought he had lost his mind.) And, while I don't think I mentioned this directly, but she knew what I was getting at - brought him into a deep relationship with God, through Jesus.

And what was her main comment? "He (her grandfather) is forgiven."!!! I personally do not think any one should ask for forgiveness of those they have wronged. They should just openly confess, repent, to their former victim. Forgiveness is a gift the person who was wronged can offer, but it should never be requested. That makes it all about the perpetrator feeling better about themselves. If they have genuinely repented, they will be more concerned for their former victim than about themselves.

As far as the question posed in this thread, God showed Peter that he should not call unclean what God has declared clean. How does that impact the answer we should give? (I'm reminded of a young woman I conversed with recently - she had lived an immoral life, but had repented, and is now striving to live a pure life, including in respect to dating practices. Some people have called her 'unclean', or 'contaminated'. I think that is a travesty. We should be assuring our Christian brothers and sisters that God's forgiveness is thorough and complete, not reminding them that they are 'damaged goods'.

I am moved to tears every time I think about how God can use such a horrible thing to bring a man to Himself, and transform an entire family.

Neto, I truly admire the lady you mention and I think that outcome is possible for some. If I were sinned against like that, I would hope to reach that place eventually. But I don't think churches should pressure victims into that if they are not ready.