Crying babies in church

[MattY]

What do you do when there is a baby who has been crying in church services for weeks or even months?

What is the appropriate way to approach this situation? When can a baby start to be expected to be quiet in church (and spanked as punishment for not quieting down?) If it was your baby, how quickly would you take him out of the service when he starts up? Of course we want children to learn to sit quietly in church, and we don't want them to learn that if they scream they can go to another room (i.e. the nursery or the basement) and get to run around freely. But at the same time, how much of such crying can go on before you take him out? And how would you go about approaching the family to tell them that this is causing problems?

[Soloist]

Wife: i’m not sure. I think before you go to the parents, maybe you should ask one of your ministers about it, since they are closer to the situation and also know the church culture and the family.

It sometimes makes it hard for me to hear and I’m also the type who goes out a bit sooner, but I know that some people are doing it to try to make sure that the child can eventually learn to behave and be calm, and maybe she also is trying desperately to hear some of the sermon herself. Do they have a Call Line or speakers in the nursery?

Does she have a husband she can take turns with? I’ve seen people at our church take turns where the guy is bouncing the baby in the back or outside or the lady is doing the same thing. It would be really hard for a single mom or a mom whose husband doesn’t take turns though, and I feel like the load should be shared so she doesn’t miss out on being fed spiritually for all the time that she has young children. Sometimes there are some nice older ladies that give me a bit of a break if my husband isn’t around.

[JimFoxvog]

I've been to churches with a soundproof room with a window into the meeting room. The sounds from the meeting room were carried into the viewing room through speakers.

Maybe someone from the church could give some quieting advice to the parents. My personal solution when my boys were young was, after some requests to the child to be quiet didn't work, was a mild application of pain by pressing the child's lip with a finger.

[Neto]

During special evening meetings here last week, one night a child was screaming repeatedly right behind us. I'm not bothered by children crying once in awhile, or even a bit of talking, but this was a piercing scream. They did eventually take the little girl out, but I would have gone out sooner. Crying is excusable, but not screaming. (Screaming is anger, not discomfort. At least not this sort of screaming.)

I think the expectation for quietly sitting in church services should be older than 1 year, but it's been many many years since our children were that small, so I'm not sure. We do occasionally have our grandchildren with us, and the younger ones are 3 (twins), and 5. They do pretty well, and the last time we had the twins with us there were 'compliments' from the people sitting behind us.

[JohnH]

Think about how this would affect an elderly person nearby wearing hearing aids (which make such loud noises especially painful).

If their hearing aids are malfunctioning like this, they should see their audiologist to have them adjusted or replaced. They aren’t supposed to amplify loud sounds to the point of being painful, and newer models (for the last 10+ years) filter out noise and other unintelligible sounds like screaming to avoid amplifying if

Once Jesus’ disciples rebuked the people for bringing children and babies to him, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come into me.” We should make children, babies, and families a priority in church services. They represent the future. The elderly, whilst I appreciate them, should not be the priority and don’t represent the future. This may seem harsh, but a church where young people, families with babies, and children aren’t welcome is one that eventually will close its doors.

I would recommend building a good nursery and improving the soundproofing. I’m not sure it always works to spank a baby who is screaming / crying. They might just scream and cry more. Some babies are fussy or colicky and have a poor temperament.

It may be helpful to visit with missionaries and learn about having people from different backgrounds. If your congregation is mostly Swiss, you likely have an audience of compliant children and babies who tend to be quiet and obedient. Not everyone acts like this. I have heard good testimonies from missionaries who have learned that people from other backgrounds often have louder / fussier babies, or else haven’t disciplined / trained them to be stoically quiet for 2 hours.

A while ago I visited a Catholic service and after the Mass was over, complimented one of the moms who had children who fussed and made noise the entire service. I told her it’s good to hear babies making noise in church. My local Catholic parish is nice and quiet during Mass. It also is at high risk of closing. There are no babies at all present to disrupt the service.

Does she have a husband she can take turns with? I’ve seen people at our church take turns where the guy is bouncing the baby in the back or outside or the lady is doing the same thing. It would be really hard for a single mom or a mom whose husband doesn’t take turns though, and I feel like the load should be shared so she doesn’t miss out on being fed spiritually for all the time that she has young children. Sometimes there are some nice older ladies that give me a bit of a break if my husband isn’t around.

A girl with children from two different dads visited one of our churches once after being invited by a classmate in nursing schools. Her children were “poorly behaved”: climbing over and under the seats, talking, making noise, and so forth.

Since we practice separate seating, the area had other ladies in it who helped watch and entertain the children and told her not to worry about them. She had had a poor experience in church before, and felt uncomfortable leaving them in a nursery with strangers. Eventually, she joined and became a member. Last I heard her oldest daughter got married. Both her children are church members.

I consider that far more valuable than peace and quiet in the sanctuary so that the old geezers can hear the 4,000th sermon of their lives slightly better. If it’s really a problem, I’d be glad to lend a set of earmuffs they can wear over their hearing aids.

[MattY]

Thanks for the replies, they were about what I thought. I screenshotted them for reference and have asked the admins to delete this thread.

[barnhart]

Of the types of babies in churches, I prefer crying ones to the adult kind.

[Southerner]

I prefer Hutterite/ Bruderhof meetings w no children in attendance.

[ken_sylvania]

Thanks for the replies, they were about what I thought. I screenshotted them for reference and have asked the admins to delete this thread.

I don't know if this is what you intended to communicate, but the way you worded this makes it sound like you #1 started a thread with the express purpose of enticing people to respond in a certain way, #2 you've now screenshotted the evidence, and #3 now that your little game is over you want the mods to delete the thread for some reason that only you might know.

I don't think the thread should be deleted.

[JohnH]

I prefer Hutterite/ Bruderhof meetings w no children in attendance.

Don’t let the little children come unto me?