By Thy Words

[steve-in-kville]

Master Thread Starter:
Here's to your next thread with the title of: "Life After Being Micromanaged by my Family of Faith While Growing Up."

If that is directed at me, I'll add it to my list

[mike]

That is true. But David's worst oppressor was Saul and when David had the opportunity to kill Saul, he refrained, because at one point Saul was anointed by God. David left his oppressor in the hands of God.

In reading the comments on the "By Thy Words" Facebook, I see more mockery than laments.

I agree the website seems to be about mockery. Given the nature of the Conservative Mennonite articles and material that are analyzed there, it's not surprising that people make fun of it. There are probably better ways to effect change, but what else can you expect when some of these groups and writers say some of the things they do? It really does get ridiculous. The amazing micromanagement of people's lives by EPMC and other ultra conservatives often seems to produce really bad results.

It would probably be wise to keep in mind that some of the things you think are normal and appropriate would seem ridiculous to other people more conservative or less conservative than you. I really don't think it's OK to mock people even if they are doing or writing things that seem ridiculous to me.

I could probably find a R&S article to back this up, too, if you would like!

I agree that mocking people isn't OK. I wasn't saying that. My contention would be that to micromanage people to the extent that some of these articles reflect is controlling to the point of exasperation, not just to onlookers but to members of their own communities. While the mockery may not be OK, it is one of the expected human responses to things that appear absurd and unreasonable.

I say these things from observation of people who leave EPMC or are struggling there. Admittedly these folks may not be the best representation of what these groups are, and all groups will have people on the margins. However the extreme distrust and criticism these churches have of other groups comes back to bite them in the form of many members who struggle to thrive under the harshness of their separatism and rules.

If people have to be told how to live their lives in such minute detail, what level of personal conviction and spirituality do they actually have? It is typical that when people leave any restrictive culture, they seem to have no guide or anchor when they leave the group, and EPMC is no exception.

I do understand that some of this may have to do with my proximity to the "left" of EPMC, and that those to the "left" of me would probably have some similar critiques of the church I attend. I still can hardly help but make these observations.

[ABC 123]

Their heavily edited literature perpetuates the myth that their fictionalized perfection is actually obtainable. In reality, it is not. And the guy at the pulpit hammers on with threats of hell for those who do not at least try to run on that hamster wheel.

The true stories many of us could tell sound made up or embellished. It really can be *that* bad and the cast offs in the corner who keep trying to tell it finally just start poking fun at the whole mess.

[steve-in-kville]

The true stories many of us could tell sound made up or embellished. It really can be *that* bad and the cast offs in the corner who keep trying to tell it finally just start poking fun at the whole mess.

The one time I spoke up about some back-stabbing that happened to our family, the minister basically told me that I "had it coming to me", brought it onto myself and deserved it. Its no mystery why people wait so long to say anything.

Sad part about that? My wife and I actually believed that for a number of years.

[Grace]

The one time I spoke up about some back-stabbing that happened to our family, the minister basically told me that I "had it coming to me", brought it onto myself and deserved it. Its no mystery why people wait so long to say anything.

Sad part about that? My wife and I actually believed that for a number of years.

That is sad. We know of a family who had a child in a local conservative Mennonite High School, and that young teen was mercilessly mocked and made fun of because they refused to be a part of the cliques and didn't fit their mold. When the parents approached the board about the matter of the relentless teasing and mocking, they were told the same thing. "The teen brought it on themselves", the parents were told. After that, the hurt was deep, this particular teen chose to abandon any kind of organized religion and I think still feels that way after many years.

Matthew 18:6
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

[temporal1]

Master Thread Starter:
Here's to your next thread with the title of: "Life After Being Micromanaged by my Family of Faith While Growing Up."

If that is directed at me, I'll add it to my list

Another:
“Life after finding faith after growing up in a hostile-to-faith family and world.”

It’s so often forgotten, denied, or not understood, faith results from The Holy Spirit. No one gets there, or stays there, by their own will alone. Pray in humility for The Holy Spirit to guide every day, every thought, every word, every action. Don’t expect it to be easy, no matter your age. Begin in fresh humility each day.

[steve-in-kville]

After that, the hurt was deep, this particular teen chose to abandon any kind of organized religion and I think still feels that way after many years.

And honestly, no one should blame him. Sad.

We could all tell stories, and in reality wouldn't do much good other than to vent, but at least we'd feel a little better

[Grace]

After that, the hurt was deep, this particular teen chose to abandon any kind of organized religion and I think still feels that way after many years.

And honestly, no one should blame him. Sad.

We could all tell stories, and in reality wouldn't do much good other than to vent, but at least we'd feel a little better

As an observer sometimes the Lord allows things to happen in the lives of the oppressors that makes you stop and wonder. One of the main leaders who promoted the arrogant mantra that mocking and hurtful teasing was brought on by the targeted individual themselves, ended up having very harsh trials in his own family later on. He had a son who did over 8 years in prison for committing a horrible crime against a little girl.

Sometimes it is better to give those hurts to the Lord and let him deal with the perpetrator's heart.

[mike]

After that, the hurt was deep, this particular teen chose to abandon any kind of organized religion and I think still feels that way after many years.

And honestly, no one should blame him. Sad.

We could all tell stories, and in reality wouldn't do much good other than to vent, but at least we'd feel a little better

As an observer sometimes the Lord allows things to happen in the lives of the oppressors that makes you stop and wonder. One of the main leaders who promoted the arrogant mantra that mocking and hurtful teasing was brought on by the targeted individual themselves, ended up having very harsh trials in his own family later on. He had a son who did over 8 years in prison for committing a horrible crime against a little girl.

Sometimes it is better to give those hurts to the Lord and let him deal with the perpetrator's heart.

Dirty laundry websites are pretty much the modern form of venting, and are inevitable really, but your advice is good to think about.

[mike]

Here's another thing about the folks who run dirty laundry websites. Are they OK with having a bit of mockery and critique directed at them as well? Is it OK to critique the criticizers? Sometimes that doesn't feel safe; as if they are the only ones certified for the role of a cynic.