OUCH!MaxPC wrote:A pastor told his congregation: “Next week I am going to preach about the sin of lying. To prepare you for my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
The next week the pastor stepped up to start his sermon and asked: “How many of you read Mark 17?”
Almost everyone in the pews raised their hands.
The pastor smiled and said: “Mark has only 16 chapters. Looks as though I will have to add 30 minutes to my sermon on the sins of lying.”
I think it is funny
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gcdonner
Re: I think it is funny
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MaxPC
Re: I think it is funny
That would be a "gotcha" moment, wouldn't it?gcdonner wrote:OUCH!MaxPC wrote:A pastor told his congregation: “Next week I am going to preach about the sin of lying. To prepare you for my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
The next week the pastor stepped up to start his sermon and asked: “How many of you read Mark 17?”
Almost everyone in the pews raised their hands.
The pastor smiled and said: “Mark has only 16 chapters. Looks as though I will have to add 30 minutes to my sermon on the sins of lying.”
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Re: I think it is funny
This was following the Biden bus around Texas.
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Try hard not to offend. Try harder not to be offended.
I think I am funnier than I really am.
I think I am funnier than I really am.
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MaxPC
Re: I think it is funny
Only in TexasRobert wrote:This was following the Biden bus around Texas.
Texan humor can be hilarious especially when it points out common sense over cultural craziness.
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MaxPC
Re: I think it is funny
Found this in my email this morning - a little dog-eared but still humorous.
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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven..."
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.”
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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven..."
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.”
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MaxPC
Re: I think it is funny
A truck loaded with Vick’s Vaporub overturned on the highway. Amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours.
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Re: I think it is funny
Some people will make money off about anything!! 
It is things like this that remind me why I am friends with him.
It is things like this that remind me why I am friends with him.
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Try hard not to offend. Try harder not to be offended.
I think I am funnier than I really am.
I think I am funnier than I really am.
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gcdonner
Re: I think it is funny
Naturally, I couldn't find a reply to my comment on his post. I wonder if FB deleted it because I used a bad word..."Christian"?Robert wrote:Some people will make money off about anything!!
It is things like this that remind me why I am friends with him.
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temporal1
Re: I think it is funny
.. love you guys.gcdonner wrote:Naturally, I couldn't find a reply to my comment on his post. I wonder if FB deleted it because I used a bad word..."Christian"?Robert wrote:Some people will make money off about anything!!
It is things like this that remind me why I am friends with him.
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Fidelio
- Posts: 620
- Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2019 9:57 pm
- Location: Near Detroit MI
- Affiliation: ACCA Friend
Re: I think it is funny
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Convert to Anabaptist truth early 2019; now associated (friend) with the Apostolic Christian Church of America.