Poll: Age for Dating and Marriage

[temporal1]

It is helpful to clarify definitions.
Like, what is meant by dating? What is meant by courting?

What is meant by money laundering? Also, embezzling?
Cartels and mafias are recognized as experts in crime, whether extorting a mom+pop fruit stand or pizza place. No place too small.
No place too large! D.C. and Wall Street are irresistable. They can be street-level rough+dirty, or well educated, well spoken, well dressed. The common thread: no boundaries and no shame.

Today, headlines focus on millions-billions-trillions, but .. media is proven biased+faulty and a contributor to all problems.

In open discussions, 2-5-10-20 people will be sharing common words - without common definitions.

[Ken]

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Stuff like this is a great example where "age is just a number." My wife's cousin got married at 17. Her husband was 21. They were a "thing" since early teens, parents approved and signed off on it.

I've known ladies that were attracted to guys that were old enough to be her dad. I also know women that hunted were attracted to men that were young enough to be their son. Love is weird, that's all I know

When I hear about these cases I don't understand what the rush is.

Were they so horny they couldn't keep their pants zipped for another 6 months or year? Was there a baby already on the way?

My youngest daughter is now 19. But were she 16 or 17 and wanting to get married we'd be sitting down with the both of them and the other set of parents and saying "look, we are happy that you two found each other. But if you want our blessing, approval, and assistance lets push that wedding date out X-date when you are both legal adults. You to have a whole lot of planning and getting your lives in order before you are ready to take on marriage and the next year is going to go faster than you think. So let's set some milestones to work towards (graduating HS, money saved, etc.)

And if it was some older adult man chasing my minor teenage daughter I'd have serious problems with it. That raises all kinds of red flags on both sides. In reality a lot of girls (and it is usually girls) in that situation have troubled or abusive home lives or "daddy issues" and marriage is an escape from something else. 15 or 16 year old girls from stable loving happy families tend not to elope with older men. They may have boyfriends, sure. But they generally aren't looking to escape their home to marry them. And any older man chasing teenagers raises a whole different set of red flags.

[apd]

We've discussed minimum age for dating and marriage, what about the opposite side of things. Is there an age that is considered late for dating/marriage? Is there an age that is considered too late?

What do you think?

I would say no.

We've discussed minimum age for dating and marriage, what about the opposite side of things. Is there an age that is considered late for dating/marriage? Is there an age that is considered too late?

Honestly, it's not your business. Unless you consider yourself Supreme Manager of the Universe, stay out of it. I know ladies that were well into their 40's and 50's and married. A family friend was in her mid-50's and married a widower old enough to be her dad. They both are beyond happy. Good for them!

Stop being a kill joy and let love be love.

(I'm in a rare mood today. Stay tuned for more snarky comments )

I didn't mean it in a bad way so I apologize if my question came off that way. I'm not married myself and sometimes receive comments about it as if it's strange. Anyways I'll go back to lurking

[Outsider]

Hmmm....

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/holid ... jesus.html

Maybe God isn't a "feminist"?

[JohnH]

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Stuff like this is a great example where "age is just a number." My wife's cousin got married at 17. Her husband was 21. They were a "thing" since early teens, parents approved and signed off on it.

I've known ladies that were attracted to guys that were old enough to be her dad. I also know women that hunted were attracted to men that were young enough to be their son. Love is weird, that's all I know

When I hear about these cases I don't understand what the rush is.

Were they so horny they couldn't keep their pants zipped for another 6 months or year? Was there a baby already on the way?

That’s a really disgusting thing to say about a young couple who love each other and choose to get married.

Why should the couple have to wait 6 months or a year?

[Ken]

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Stuff like this is a great example where "age is just a number." My wife's cousin got married at 17. Her husband was 21. They were a "thing" since early teens, parents approved and signed off on it.

I've known ladies that were attracted to guys that were old enough to be her dad. I also know women that hunted were attracted to men that were young enough to be their son. Love is weird, that's all I know

When I hear about these cases I don't understand what the rush is.

Were they so horny they couldn't keep their pants zipped for another 6 months or year? Was there a baby already on the way?

That’s a really disgusting thing to say about a young couple who love each other and choose to get married.

Why should the couple have to wait 6 months or a year?

Most people do wait. When marriages get rushed like that there are usually extenuating circumstances. That is the reality.

My own daughters would most certainly have waited at least until age 18 if they wanted our blessing and help. And if they can't wait I'd be asking what really it is that is motivating them. Instant gratification isn't a good foundation for a life-long marriage.

[temporal1]

Dads watch their daughters with boys ..
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DL6-e0Oon26/

A Thousand Years (Christina Perri) / -5min

[temporal1]

OP:

A thread to discuss Age for Dating and Marriage

If you don't like someone else's views on this topic, there is no need to disparage them or their views.
We can discuss this topic in a civil manner. Thanks.

The OP is largely about CHURCH policies and customs. Discussion and, for me, an opportunity to LEARN.

i’ve learned a lot over years about CM views on dating/no dating, courtship, marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Frankly, i think the world would be much better off learning about ALL these things, starting before teen years.
It’s a loss to be blindly ignorant to others’ beliefs and choices, outside the left-west arrogant intolerant judgmental view.

It’s mostly the work of families and churches. It begins before formal education.

Most of the world, different cultures+religions, do not align with the left-west’s view that fornication and abortion are fine, and enable marriage to be put off until age 30-40 and beyond. That is, females can ignore their bio clock to become their best versions of males. My sense is, many males are not interested in faux-males in marriage. It’s causing problems. Many 40 yr old females question decisions to put professions first. There is tremendous pressure for females to put careers first.

No rush is mentioned or alluded to. Neither a suggestion about policies for others.
Where do these presumptions come from? Not the OP.

Personally, i agree with the idea of discussing celibacy along with discussions of marriage, it’s a choice, it’s Jesus’ preferred choice.
It’s natural to be part of the conversation. imho.

Of course, i don’t expect the world to address celibacy. Everything but.

[the-real-steve]

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Stuff like this is a great example where "age is just a number." My wife's cousin got married at 17. Her husband was 21. They were a "thing" since early teens, parents approved and signed off on it.

I've known ladies that were attracted to guys that were old enough to be her dad. I also know women that hunted were attracted to men that were young enough to be their son. Love is weird, that's all I know

When I hear about these cases I don't understand what the rush is.

Were they so horny they couldn't keep their pants zipped for another 6 months or year? Was there a baby already on the way?

Nope. It was three years until they had their first child.

[JohnH]

In my church young couples are typically engaged for 4 to 8 weeks.

I wonder if Ken would consider that "rushing things".

Most marital discord in our circles results in cases of older people being remarried after a spouse dies; nothing inherently wrong with that, it's just an observation that it seems to have an outsized amount of difficulties. Other common sources are couples who fall into immorality before they get married.

But nope, no problems, generally speaking, when almost every couple was engaged for less than 2 months. And many of those couples weren't romantically involved before they got engaged.

The Apostolic Christian Church functions much the same way, although I think their engagements are a tad longer (2-3 months).