Marrying Someone With a Promiscuous Past

[Josh]

I think it is unfair how society views promiscuity between men and women. If a guy sleeps with a dozen women, he's a stud and idolized in a sense. If a lady does that, she's labeled as being "easy" or worse.

But that has nothing to do with how things are done in plain Christian circles. The original topic here was that Christian girls in some church circles don’t want to marry a guy who’s slept with a dozen women (despite frequent attempts to derail it and change the topic to the opposite).

[Neto]

Therefore, it is not worth taking steps to mitigate a risk that is almost solely due to promiscuity. As far as girls marrying a guy with a promiscuous past… many (I’d say the majority) of girls in my church circles would be unwilling to do so.

An interesting statement made by Josh caught my eye. I wonder if the door swings the other way as well? Would most guys be unwilling to marry a girl they knew had a promiscuous past? Is this true of everyone?

For reference sake, here is the original post.

[Josh]

Therefore, it is not worth taking steps to mitigate a risk that is almost solely due to promiscuity. As far as girls marrying a guy with a promiscuous past… many (I’d say the majority) of girls in my church circles would be unwilling to do so.

An interesting statement made by Josh caught my eye. I wonder if the door swings the other way as well? Would most guys be unwilling to marry a girl they knew had a promiscuous past? Is this true of everyone?

For reference sake, here is the original post.

I’m fully aware of where this was intended to go. “Look at these bad, evil men, imposing a double standard on these poor women who’ve sincerely repented.” It is a worthless and unproductive hypothetical, particularly since the real-world experience in plain circles of chastity for both men and women.

I will continue to resist any attempts to derail this into making it gendered.

[steve-in-kville]

I will continue to resist any attempts to derail this into making it gendered.

Apparently I have no idea what this thread is about

[Bootstrap]

I think it is unfair how society views promiscuity between men and women. If a guy sleeps with a dozen women, he's a stud and idolized in a sense. If a lady does that, she's labeled as being "easy" or worse.

Is that true in our circles, though? I think most of us believe that the Bible has the same standards for both.

And really, I wonder if this is still true in mainstream society. Promiscuity seems to be widely accepted for both men and women these days. The attitude seems to be, "of course everyone needs sex".

[Bootstrap]

The original topic here was that Christian girls in some church circles don’t want to marry a guy who’s slept with a dozen women (despite frequent attempts to derail it and change the topic to the opposite).

I think we should respect anyone who feels that way. I also think we should preach redemption and live redemption. I don't think there's a conflict between those two things.

You should only marry someone you feel deep trust in. If you are thinking about marrying someone, and can't reach that level of trust, don't go there. For whatever reasons. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. We have to treat them accordingly. But that doesn't mean you have to marry that person.

[Ken]

An interesting statement made by Josh caught my eye. I wonder if the door swings the other way as well? Would most guys be unwilling to marry a girl they knew had a promiscuous past? Is this true of everyone?

For reference sake, here is the original post.

I’m fully aware of where this was intended to go. “Look at these bad, evil men, imposing a double standard on these poor women who’ve sincerely repented.” It is a worthless and unproductive hypothetical, particularly since the real-world experience in plain circles of chastity for both men and women.

I will continue to resist any attempts to derail this into making it gendered.

I actually agree with Josh here.

I don't think it is the job of women or men to help "rehabilitate" anyone by marrying them.

Be selective about who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. You don't get a second chance at a first marriage. Past behavior is a part of that selection process of which past sexual behavior is just a part.

[Sudsy]

I like a simple approach such as seek the Lord's guidance as that is what He sent us the Holy Spirit for. I believe I would have avoided much suffering regarding marriages if I had just trusted that the Spirit is given us to lead us in the way that we should go and sought His guidance.

[Joy]

I like a simple approach such as seek the Lord's guidance as that is what He sent us the Holy Spirit for. I believe I would have avoided much suffering regarding marriages if I had just trusted that the Spirit is given us to lead us in the way that we should go and sought His guidance.

And how is the main way that the Spirit leads us? Through His Holy Word.

[Sudsy]

I like a simple approach such as seek the Lord's guidance as that is what He sent us the Holy Spirit for. I believe I would have avoided much suffering regarding marriages if I had just trusted that the Spirit is given us to lead us in the way that we should go and sought His guidance.

And how is the main way that the Spirit leads us? Through His Holy Word.

I believe the Holy Spirit does lead us using the scriptures but I would not agree that this is the 'main way' that He leads us. I believe He lives in us and will guide us each moment, with and without reading the scriptures, in the way that we should go. What is most important is to be listening for His voice above all the other things going on in our heads. Obviously we Christians are not always attentive to Him or we would not have so many differences in our hearing what He says either directly to our spirit or through reading and meditating on the written Word.