When the boys start coming around...

[steve-in-kville]

... or girls, for that matter

This is aimed towards parents with adult children (age 18 and over). How much of an influence did you have when it came to your child's choice in life partner? Did you attempt to influence them towards certain ones? Interfere and refer them away from others? Did you accept who they choose even though it wasn't your choice?

This could go all kinds of different directions, I realize. I welcome your comments. I may add more later as time allows.

[ABC 123]

They are the ones who have to live with him/her. It is their choice.

I may or may not infuse my perspective early on, but then I back out entirely.

[Neto]

We had set a rule about "no romantic relationships before age 18". It didn't work - it happens anyway. My part in this was to save our children some of the pain I experienced myself, but you just can't. (Just my experience and opinion, of course.) Yes, we tried to "interfere", but the other parents aided in it.

[Judas Maccabeus]

... or girls, for that matter

This is aimed towards parents with adult children (age 18 and over). How much of an influence did you have when it came to your child's choice in life partner? Did you attempt to influence them towards certain ones? Interfere and refer them away from others? Did you accept who they choose even though it wasn't your choice?

This could go all kinds of different directions, I realize. I welcome your comments. I may add more later as time allows.

Well. My daughters are both in their late 30s, and went through that with both of them. They mostly "gaggle dates" namely went out in groups of 8-10. All virtually from either our Alliance church, or one of the other evangelical churches. I could never figure out who they were interested in, or which of them were an "Item." When I saw the "Josh Harris" book in the possession of my older daughter, I asked her to discard it.

My policy-I will never tell who to marry. I may tell who NOT to marry, but I will never tell you who you should be looking at. I did, in fact, tell one of my daughters to stay away from a certain young man.....she agreed. Turns out the boy shortly became a train wreck.

Boy was introduced, daughter asks what I think. My answer, "I am saying nothing." They both quickly figured out that that was as much of a yes as they will receive from me. I will never tell them who to marry, only who not to.

[steve-in-kville]

Good replies.

I have witnessed this happen over the years, more often than not, it is the mom protecting her daughters, which is understandable. Some situations involved a young man that was bound to become "train wreck" as JM mentioned. Another was a case were both him and her had flaws, but both were grounded and two decades later, their marriage is as solid as they come. To that end, I am aware of a situation where the mom had a pretty daughter that had eyes for a guy that wasn't the best looking guy and the mom tried to end it. They got married about a year back and they are still catching flack for it. She is one of my daughter's friends, so my wife hears about it pretty often.

Both of my married children didn't start dating until after the age 20 anyway, so we didn't have to worry about with them.

[ken_sylvania]

Both of my married children didn't start dating until after the age 20 anyway, so we didn't have to worry about with them.

Is it common practice among the Brethren for the married children to be dating?

[steve-in-kville]

Both of my married children didn't start dating until after the age 20 anyway, so we didn't have to worry about with them.

Is it common practice among the Brethren for the married children to be dating?

Not really. That was just the way it happened. Now I know there was a trend years ago among the GB's for young men to wait and establish themselves financially and then marry a younger lady. But that may have been a trend in a certain area for all know.

[ken_sylvania]

Both of my married children didn't start dating until after the age 20 anyway, so we didn't have to worry about with them.

Is it common practice among the Brethren for the married children to be dating?

Not really. That was just the way it happened. Now I know there was a trend years ago among the GB's for young men to wait and establish themselves financially and then marry a younger lady. But that may have been a trend in a certain area for all know.

Good morning!!!!

[steve-in-kville]

Is it common practice among the Brethren for the married children to be dating?

Not really. That was just the way it happened. Now I know there was a trend years ago among the GB's for young men to wait and establish themselves financially and then marry a younger lady. But that may have been a trend in a certain area for all know.

Good morning!!!!

Oh Dear. And I was honestly two cups in when I wrote that Just downed the third.

[Josh]

Both of my married children didn't start dating until after the age 20 anyway, so we didn't have to worry about with them.

Is it common practice among the Brethren for the married children to be dating?

I've heard it's good for your marriage to go on dates regularly.