Josh wrote: ↑Wed Feb 09, 2022 11:43 am
I ticked the "Matthew 18" box,
but let's face it, I'll probably choose "Mind my own business. Let someone else rat them out."
next time I'm faced with this.
It’s not just “passing the buck” to someone else.
We’re assured, justice prevails, in God’s time. It’s not as tho they’ll never “face the music.”
It’s more about preventing more harm, and offering The Way.
In my case, the person is so much stronger than me - evidently, than anyone. Everyone surrounding has been twisted into enablers. The control involved here is uncanny. Yet, this person may be the unhappiest, most miserable person i know. In a self-constructed trap. Harm is being done, while no one “interferes.” “Triangulation,” divide+conquer, seems central. It’s absolutely bizarre.
Pandemic rules have been exploited to embed triangulation/manipulation.
“The system” is not working. Any/every attempt is twisted against itself. There are “evident” choices. Each one “disabled,” esp by laws (designed to “protect”). Twisted to protect/enable abusers. So much wrong ends in STALEMATES.
i’ve gently recommended COMPETENT counseling over years, in different ways, as encouraging+inviting as possible.
odd thing is, everyone closely connected is IN counseling, the central person is not.
i’ve wondered, what would it be like to know EVERYONE closely involved with you is in counseling?!
isn’t this a mild clue??
the counselors are (misused) to accomodate the (triangulator)!
my definition of “competent” counseling is counsel wise enough to assess bad situations without becoming an enabler.
the critical key is, the abuser must accept competent counseling. i.e., face personal accountability.
in this case, if personal accountability is required, the counselor will be fired and forgotten.
“The Rule” is: this person MUST always win, MUST always be obeyed, MUST be flattered and doted on.
break The Rule, “you’re OUT.”
when i say i’m out of my league, this is not an exaggeration.
what i might bring is faith, hope, Truth. the promise of a better way. The Better Way.
so far, over decades, i’ve not been thrown out. except for occasional fiery skirmishes. all things considered, i’m peculiarly close.
this gives me a sense there is some hint of respect+trust?? .. it’s all so hard, so out of my realm.
there is no forcing. it must be wanted, voluntary. a hard sell to someone with instincts of a wild bird: fight
AND flight.
it’s getting late in the day.
possibly, “the handwriting on the wall” is appearing. making everything worse.
blame is being cast about in every direction but inward. to a shocking extent.
habits of decades can be cold prisons.
outward appearances can deceive. Jesus knows hearts.
- - -
this thread is about business offenses. mine is about personal abuse, which i presume includes business, but my motivation is stopping personal abuse. i don’t believe it’s sexual abuse, but there are commonalities. some say emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. sexual abuse is violent, even if no outward or lasting harm is done. abuse of psyches. souls.
i’m writing this out partly to help myself “marshal my thoughts” on it.
if i take new action, it’s a huge risk. i will need strength to face it, strength to endure. i may have to accept i’ve made things worse.
this person never hesitates to “go after a mouse with an elephant gun,” with no remorse.
different people have different gifts to communicate. what is excruciating for me might be a simple matter for someone else.
my task is to figure out what options i might have in this particular situation. i’m not confident.