Neto, you describe an important "truth" i tried to relay to my children as they grew up.Neto wrote:I know that I was amiss by Swiss Brethren standards (who quite often marry a person with the same family name), but I would have never considered marrying someone with my same family name (Buller). I did get to know a girl with the same last name in college, and as far as we could trace it, we were not related. (But of course we were, because she was also Dutch Mennonite. I know that there are also Jewish, English, and even African-American people with the same last name. The historical origin of our name is a mystery beyond the 1500's.) A lot of people there at the Bible Institute thought we were brother & sister, actually bearing some resemblance.ohio jones wrote:I've always wondered what happens to the next generation of hyphenees. Will they be Rachel Yoder-Yoder Yoder-Yoder, or Rachel Yoder-Yoder-Yoder-Yoder?Josh wrote:But I never see any hyphenated names on the conservative side.
I did see a name once like "Rachel Yoder-Yoder". She married someone with the same last name but hyphenated it. I thought that was the funniest thing.
But I don't think I would have gotten to know her as well if I had considered dating her, because I was too shy for that type of a relationship. But having it "out of consideration" made her a safe one to be friends with.
OK. Now you all can laugh.
my mother, of far fewer words than i, would occasionally, and privately, quote:
"Never lovers ever friends."
she could be mysterious (to me.) esp since i remember hearing these words (as an older teen) before i had any idea of what a lover might be!
but, truly, through my life, i've found this to hold true.
because i have worked in hospitals, offices, peoples' homes, etc., even in church, i have had the privilege of having several good friends of years who were male, but, the unspoken rule was .. not to become intimate, not physically, or mentally. not that this is always easy to do! it can be awfully difficult.
but, to cross that line, is to potentially end what might have been a more important, more valuable relationship. for this to work, both must respect those boundaries without fail. once the line is crossed, it will either lead to marriage, or the end of the relationship (at least, as it was prior.)
so. not laughing. it's important, not often discussed.
i have often thought, there is a lot of romantic love in this world that is deliberately never acted upon.
and, that's ok. it's part of the bittersweet richness of being human.
these things are part of the reason(s) i mourn today's turn to "demystify" human sexuality to children and teens, by attempting to confine it to an unavoidable mechanical process.
we are so much more than machines, or animals. the mystery, pain, and glory are, by design, all interwoven. why steal all that from young people?! what will ever become of literature without all these experiences in total?
enough on that from me.