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A thread to discuss Age for Dating and Marriage

If you don't like someone else's views on this topic, there is no need to disparage them or their views. We can discuss this topic in a civil manner. Thanks.

When did conservative Mennonites (of Swiss/German origin) raise the age to 20 or 21 for marriage and why?

Do Old Order Mennonites have a generally expected minimum age for dating and marriage?

Do Old Order Amish have a generally expected minimum age for dating and marriage?

Do Hutterites have a generally expected minimum age for dating and marriage?

Do Old German Baptist Brethren have a generally expected minimum age for dating and marriage?

Amongst Holdeman 18 is the norm now mostly due to not wanting to go to the justice of the peace. 50 years ago, 17 was acceptable and 16 was not unheard of. In some African countries 16 or 17 is acceptable to this day, but the general church custom now is to encourage 18 as a congregation gets more settled. Dating is strongly discouraged, so it isn’t “allowed” but it certainly happens with 16/17 year olds. Before 16 it generally isn’t possible for such shenanigans since youth that age lack a car or a phone.

Old Colonists had a practice of 20 or 21 according to what one person told me but as I understand this varies from district to district.

I'm not so interested in the "when" question.

I'm more interested in the "why" question.

If your church has a particular age for dating and marriage. Say 16 or 18 or 21, WHY?

As in why THAT particular age?

I have no idea at all of what king of age expectations our congregation has. I will just say that personally, I think that only "dating for marriage" should be encouraged or approved. What I mean by "dating for marriage" is to avoid dating just for the sake of dating, due to peer expectations, etc. (Going out on informal 'dates' in a group - that's not such a negative in my mind.

We haven’t any church “rule” in our group of churches. But the generally accepted minimum age to begin dating is 18. This is up to the family to enforce. But I suppose if someone started at 17, it wouldn’t necessarily be a huge cause for concern, just remarkable in its rarity. I think my parents were married at 17 and 18.

It is hard for me to vote on such polls. I started dating my wife at age 17. She has a few years on me. I was married at 19. Granted, my circumstances were a bit unusual, but when you know, you know.

I remember when I was driving Joe Wengers as a teenager, the girls were not allowed to start dating until they were at least 17 1/2 y/o. I guess it was figured they would court for a while, get engaged, and be married by 19. Not sure if it was assumed the guy would be older? Not sure on that.

In moderate-conservative circles, dating before age 18 seems to be virtually extinct, but not because of any societal pressures. It just doesn't seem to happen anymore. And it's getting rare even after 18.

Culturally there was some shift / pressure from the "courtship" movement that is very popular in Charity circles to postpone dating, sometimes indefinitely. As one moderate-conservative man put it, "The Bible says so many good things about waiting on God."

R7ehr wrote: ↑Tue Jul 08, 2025 10:28 pm We haven’t any church “rule” in our group of churches. But the generally accepted minimum age to begin dating is 18. This is up to the family to enforce. But I suppose if someone started at 17, it wouldn’t necessarily be a huge cause for concern, just remarkable in its rarity. I think my parents were married at 17 and 18.

and is the generally accepted minimum age for marriage, 20?