I think it is funny

[Robert]

[JohnL]

My big question mark is why isn’t that bird in its cage and covered with a blanket so it will go to sleep?

[JoyE]

My big question mark is why isn’t that bird in its cage and covered with a blanket so it will go to sleep?

Probably cuz it's not real.

[JohnL]

Waitress: How did you find your steak, sir?

Me: I just looked next to the potato and there it was.

[Robert]

I know the struggle!

[Soloist]

I know the struggle!

Wife: all that self control, and you find out your children raided them while you were in the restroom.

[JohnL]

I know the struggle!

Wife: all that self control, and you find out your children raided them while you were in the restroom.

Our supply of MoonPies is completely gone. At least the teens haven’t found my stash of sour cream and onion chips yet. I’ve got a special hidey-hole next to the mop and the vacuum. They never look there.

[temporal1]

Wife: all that self control, and you find out your children raided them while you were in the restroom.

When she was younger, my grdaughter literally left a spoon in the ice cream container in the garage fridge.

[Robert]

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an Internal Revenue Service agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.

The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?

The old pastor mustered all his strength, and then said weakly, Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I’d like to go.

[Robert]

Set up clawdbot to text my wife good morning and good night every day. Also casual “how are you” messages during the workday.

24 hours later, it was having full-on conversations without me even being involved.

This tech is absolutely insane.

I haven’t talked to my wife for at least two days now, and she seems happier than ever.