Unique Weddings and Couples

[Josh]

The bride's and the attendants' dresses were unusually pretty, and well-coordinated with the flowers, for a lovely presentation. I have a cousin whose granddaughter's wedding was quite similar, only her brothers were packing. Apparently that symbolized turning over protection of the bride to her groom.

It is interesting to think how in homeschool / Baptist etc. circles such a wedding would seem very conservative and with good values, yet in conservative Anabaptist circles, such a wedding is viewed as quite worldly and "liberal".

[Joy]

The bride's and the attendants' dresses were unusually pretty, and well-coordinated with the flowers, for a lovely presentation. I have a cousin whose granddaughter's wedding was quite similar, only her brothers were packing. Apparently that symbolized turning over protection of the bride to her groom.

It is interesting to think how in homeschool / Baptist etc. circles such a wedding would seem very conservative and with good values, yet in conservative Anabaptist circles, such a wedding is viewed as quite worldly and "liberal".

True, but the modest, pretty Holdeman dresses are considered worldly, too, by groups more conservative. What matters is how God views us, n'est ce pas?

[Josh]

True, but the modest, pretty Holdeman dresses are considered worldly, too, by groups more conservative. What matters is how God views us, n'est ce pas?

Yes, but there is also a certain matter of looking at the direction a specific person is taking in their life. For example, in Holdeman circles, one can very quickly see how worldly a bride is going by how close to white she chooses to make her dress. (Holdemans never adopted the custom from Queen Victoria of all-white wedding dresses.)

In conservative Anabaptist circles, one can see how worldly a couple is by seeing the direction they are going. It is painfully obvious in that video that most of that couple's family is still Amish; they, however, are going in the direction of a wedding that is to the extreme of extravagant Beachy weddings, complete with a videographer and big pickup trucks. A "normal" Beachy wedding isn't like this.

It is so predictable in what direction they are going that sociologists call this the "Anabaptist Escalator", and indeed their nearby BMA or CMC affiliate can probably count on this couple's children to help swell their membership ranks in 20 years. Or perhaps even their nearby Baptist church.

[Joy]

True, but the modest, pretty Holdeman dresses are considered worldly, too, by groups more conservative. What matters is how God views us, n'est ce pas?

Yes, but there is also a certain matter of looking at the direction a specific person is taking in their life. For example, in Holdeman circles, one can very quickly see how worldly a bride is going by how close to white she chooses to make her dress. (Holdemans never adopted the custom from Queen Victoria of all-white wedding dresses.)

In conservative Anabaptist circles, one can see how worldly a couple is by seeing the direction they are going. It is painfully obvious in that video that most of that couple's family is still Amish; they, however, are going in the direction of a wedding that is to the extreme of extravagant Beachy weddings, complete with a videographer and big pickup trucks. A "normal" Beachy wedding isn't like this.

It is so predictable in what direction they are going that sociologists call this the "Anabaptist Escalator", and indeed their nearby BMA or CMC affiliate can probably count on this couple's children to help swell their membership ranks in 20 years. Or perhaps even their nearby Baptist church.

God doesn't always use our yardsticks to evaluate His children's devotion to Him.

Maybe this has something to do with her wearing white?

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. [Rev 19:7,8 KJV]

[Josh]

God doesn't always use our yardsticks to evaluate His children's devotion to Him.

Maybe this has something to do with her wearing white?

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. [Rev 19:7,8 KJV]

White weddings have nothing to do with that Bible verse, and have everything to do with Queen Victoria who wanted to make work for embroiderers who were people she appreciated. She had a great deal of white finery at her wedding, and from then on, white weddings became the norm for pretty much everybody:

By the end of the 19th century the white dress was the garment of choice for elite brides on both sides of the Atlantic. However, middle-class British and American brides did not adopt the trend fully until after World War II. With increased prosperity in the 20th century, the tradition also grew to include the practice of wearing the dress only once. As historian Vicky Howard writes, "[i]f a bride wore white in the nineteenth century, it was acceptable and likely that she wore her gown again". Even Queen Victoria had her famous lace wedding dress re-styled for later use.

The portrayal of weddings in Hollywood movies, particularly immediately after World War II, helped crystallize and homogenize the white wedding into a normative form.

Holdemans are one of the very few groups that has eschewed the white wedding, and still retain the old-fashioned idea that a bride's wedding dress should be an article of clothing that can be re-worn for other occasions.

[Joy]

I'm curious how you've come to the conclusion that white wedding dresses have anything to do with Queen Victoria? I seriously doubt most people even know that; but hopefully most Christians are aware that white frequently represents purity in the NT, especially in Revelation where the Bride of Christ wears white.

For that matter, traditionally even our society's non-believers have understood that for a bride to wear white means that she has remained pure sexually.

[mike]

Holdemans are one of the very few groups that has eschewed the white wedding, and still retain the old-fashioned idea that a bride's wedding dress should be an article of clothing that can be re-worn for other occasions.

My wife wore a white wedding dress, and wore it again for other occasions. It wasn't really that different from her other dresses.

[Ernie]

Holdemans are one of the very few groups that has eschewed the white wedding, and still retain the old-fashioned idea that a bride's wedding dress should be an article of clothing that can be re-worn for other occasions.

Don't the majority of Plain Anabaptists eschew white wedding dresses?

[Soloist]

Holdemans are one of the very few groups that has eschewed the white wedding, and still retain the old-fashioned idea that a bride's wedding dress should be an article of clothing that can be re-worn for other occasions.

Don't the majority of Plain Anabaptists eschew white wedding dresses?

I've seen a fair bit of white cape dresses as a wedding dress. Seems to be the expectation.

[Josh]

Holdemans are one of the very few groups that has eschewed the white wedding, and still retain the old-fashioned idea that a bride's wedding dress should be an article of clothing that can be re-worn for other occasions.

Don't the majority of Plain Anabaptists eschew white wedding dresses?

Virtually all Plain Anabaptists who were just part of mainstream society in the late 1900s and early 2000s do so. The only ones who don't are ones who were already resisting worldly trends and fashions in weddings by the late 1800s. That leaves Holdemans and a handful of other bizarre groups like Reformed Mennonites.

I don't know what Amish do since I don't attend their weddings. In Holdeman culture, resisting the cultural changes to mandate that a bride must (a) wear a white dress on her wedding day and (b) make a dress that is impractical for any use other than a wedding, somehow has survived to the present day. Occasionally a bride does wear all white - it is viewed as somewhat worldly and an occasion to be talked about. The less-worldly brides go with a light "cream" colour which they will insist is not white. The ones who respect tradition will wear colours like dark maroon or blue (to cite some examples from local weddings at my congregation). My wife wore light green.