"Four Things Every Boy Needs"

[mercysfree]

Girls need these things, too.

I used to spend as much time as possible wandering with the goats. One childhood summer, I painstakingly counted 13,000 and some odd tadpoles as I transferred them from one pond to another.

As for mamas, we just need to get over mud, hatchets, and the snakes thrust in our faces with an eager, "Is this kind poisonous, Ma?"

[Mountain Merle]

But a park is everybody in the city's woods. A boy needs a woods of his own. Outfitted with nothing more than his imagination, a boy can spend countless happy hours in a woods. He could be Daniel Boone, Robin Hood or Robinson Crusoe all in the same day without any problem at all.

Thing 2. A Creek
I can't imagine how any boy can grow up properly without spending half of his summer submerged in a creek. One summer we built a small raft and were Huck Finn and Jim on the Mississippi.Somewhere back in the archives is a whole post on this subject entitled "The Old Swimmin' Hole". We spent countless happy hours in the creek. Every boy needs one.

This seems to essentially be an argument that what a boy needs is to be descended from wealthy land-owners.

Stop and consider for a bit that it is simply not practical for most families to provide a private forest and a private waterway to their children.

ActuaIly, it didn't cross my mind that I might be suggesting each family needed to own a private woods or creek. I just meant some woods where he could roam; it might belong to the neighbors. In our case "our" swimming hole was on my uncle's farm and it was shared by several families. And for the record, just because my uncle owned a farm didn't mean he was wealthy. He was as poor as a church mouse and so were we. In fact, he took a night job at a furniture factory to try to make ends meet. My oldest cousin stayed out of school so much trying to get farm work done that he got in trouble with the school authorities.
Hard times man, back in the day.

[MaxPC]

In a lot of ways I had an idyllic childhood so it is really hard on my sensibilities to read the horror stories about abuse this last while. Why was I so lucky? I grieve for those who have forever lost their innocence; especially heartbreaking is when they lost their innocence to someone who was supposed to be a mentor and protector.
I wish I could give every boy a childhood like mine. Which made me think of a blog post I wrote some years back; I will link it here to possibly help start the discussion. Keep in mind that most of the time I tend to write a little tongue-in-cheek.
Also I lift up living in the country pretty highly; I realize that more and more people are feeling called to the cities to live out the Christian life in an urban setting. I'm all for that, if that's your family, I commend you. Just be sure to drop Johnny off at
Grampa and Gramma's house for a couple weeks in the summer so he so he gets that country experience every boy needs.

http://findmeontheroadlesstraveled.blog ... needs.html

Great article, Merle. The only thing I would change/or add re the hatchet would be a pocket knife. I grew up with a Buck knife in my pocket and used it for any number of sundry tasks, far more than I used my hatchet.

The Fifth Thing Every Boy Needs: A Dog - or a pet of some kind.

Indeed! Caring for pets does help to develop fathering skills with future children of his own: that kind of responsibility is learned early with a dog or cat. It also teaches about life and eventually death.

This list would help with the growing problem of energetic boys cooped up in apartments being raised by mothers. These boys are often labeled ADHD and most really do have behavior issues.

I read somewhere those energetic boys used to be valued on the farm because they had the energy to get a lot done. Now they’re stifled and made to feel like a failure so often.

Absolutely and sadly nearly all of them end up on medication to control the alleged hyperactivity.

I think Jesus would take his boys with him where he went in the outdoors, would teach them to work with their hands, and to enjoy his father's world.

I agree

[ontariomartin]

This list would help with the growing problem of energetic boys cooped up in apartments being raised by mainly by mothers who are labeled ADHD.

I read somewhere those energetic boys used to be valued on the farm because they had the energy to get a lot done. Now they’re stifled and made to feel like a failure so often.

Yet we live in a country of 330 million people, and there isn’t enough resources to give every family its own farm. And there’s no family unit for a lot of them to even have a dad at home. 40% of births now are to unwed mothers (CDC 2017)

We will never be able to fix these broken family units. Nor will be able to create 100 million farms for boys to play on.

So how do we go forward sharing the gospel and ministry of reconciliation with energetic boys raised by mothers cooped up in apartment? I happen to know a few of these mothers and boys. They are busy working, earning $12/hr just to barely be able to pay rent and bills each month.

What’s Jesus look like here? I never saw Jesus go out and create some idyllic rural lifestyle. He did something radically different.

If all Christians would help a couple boys it would impact the next generation.

I heard a speaker last year say if one family in every Christian church in American would foster. It would take care of the need for foster parents in America. And I think it’s the same with this problem do what you can in the communities you’re a part of. Mike has some great ideas. Make it possible for boys to attend summer camps. If you have a property with a woods and creek share it.

This fostering statistic seems surprising to me. If that is accurate there are a lot less people fostering than I assume...... I'm surprised one family per Christian church would be enough. We are part of a Midwest Church here in Ontario and I can think of 5 families that are fostering or have in the last 5 years. This includes ourselves and my in-laws.
Working with the Children's Aid Organization, it is obvious the need is incredible, and the situations some children are subjected to, just so sad.

This is a bunny trail for this thread I realize. But I read a lot of things here that indicate numerous posters seem to think all Conservative Mennonites either have been abused or had someone close to them abused, and things are so out of control in the CA circles. This just isn't the case for everyone.

Having a fair bit of contact with "outside" unfortunate children, I think we have so much to thank our heritage and culture for, that gets overlooked way too much when we get caught up in pointing out all the faults in different groups with a broad brush.
Yes I know of undesirable situations in annabaptist homes. Yes it is very disturbing. Yes it needs to be addressed. I am not in favour of letting the church silence victims. But let's remember not to throw out the baby (our conservative heritage) with the bath water (our way of doing church and life in general), to make room for a completely new and different, unproven but glamorized, way of doing things.

Wow how did I end up here..... If this doesn't fit the thread I guess it can be moved or deleted.

[Josh]

Speaking as a foster parent, I think it’s worth saying that not every family should foster, and it’s trite to just say “if every Christian family fostered, all the needs would be met”.

Most of the foster parent need is for older children or teenagers, which present unique challenges. Most families aren’t really equipped to deal with them.

[ontariomartin]

Speaking as a foster parent, I think it’s worth saying that not every family should foster, and it’s trite to just say “if every Christian family fostered, all the needs would be met”.

Most of the foster parent need is for older children or teenagers, which present unique challenges. Most families aren’t really equipped to deal with them.

Here I am reading that Josh is a qualified foster parent but "most" other Christians are not qualified. Not sure if that is how you actually feel or just how it appears in text If that's what you meant to say, I think I disagree. Your broad brush seems to be pretty handy in a lot of cases. As a fellow foster parent I'd just like to properly understand your statement. I actually agree that not all should foster. But I take offense that "most" are unqualified I'd like to have more faith in humanity than that, and in my little corner I have no reason not to do so.


Having said that, I couldn't agree more that fostering teenagers is not for everyone, ourselves include. Bless you for doing that if you are able.

But there are lots of young children that "most" could take in, and all they need is love and a consistent family setting to thrive like crazy.

[Robert]

In a lot of ways I had an idyllic childhood so it is really hard on my sensibilities to read the horror stories about abuse this last while. Why was I so lucky? I grieve for those who have forever lost their innocence; especially heartbreaking is when they lost their innocence to someone who was supposed to be a mentor and protector.
I wish I could give every boy a childhood like mine. Which made me think of a blog post I wrote some years back; I will link it here to possibly help start the discussion. Keep in mind that most of the time I tend to write a little tongue-in-cheek.
Also I lift up living in the country pretty highly; I realize that more and more people are feeling called to the cities to live out the Christian life in an urban setting. I'm all for that, if that's your family, I commend you. Just be sure to drop Johnny off at
Grampa and Gramma's house for a couple weeks in the summer so he so he gets that country experience every boy needs.

http://findmeontheroadlesstraveled.blog ... needs.html

I saw this, or an edit of this just a few weeks or month ago on facebook. I think the dog thing was added, but not sure. I am quite impressed to meet the author. Good points made. Raising the three we have, we have to limit their "woods" time greatly since they seem to not have the sense to find their way home. I have had 3 adventures searching for them. So we have woods at the house. Outside time is vital. Everyone is surprised how much they read and spend outside. I explain we limit their electronic time to one hour a day and boredom takes care of the rest.

Great blog post.

[Hats Off]

Some of us, believe it or not, grew up in cities and our grandparents lived in cities too.

In fact, that’s true of the majority of people in North America...

And we are so thankful for that. If all you city people were in the country, the country would no longer be the country!

[Hats Off]

But a park is everybody in the city's woods. A boy needs a woods of his own. Outfitted with nothing more than his imagination, a boy can spend countless happy hours in a woods. He could be Daniel Boone, Robin Hood or Robinson Crusoe all in the same day without any problem at all.

Thing 2. A Creek
I can't imagine how any boy can grow up properly without spending half of his summer submerged in a creek. One summer we built a small raft and were Huck Finn and Jim on the Mississippi.Somewhere back in the archives is a whole post on this subject entitled "The Old Swimmin' Hole". We spent countless happy hours in the creek. Every boy needs one.

This seems to essentially be an argument that what a boy needs is to be descended from wealthy land-owners.

Stop and consider for a bit that it is simply not practical for most families to provide a private forest and a private waterway to their children.

We were very poor, but my father knew that we belonged in the country. He suffered much hardship for that belief. We gained much from that belief.

[Hats Off]

Friends of ours (not Mennonite) adopted 2 boys, one a teen, the other a preteen. Both have above normal needs, medical and other. Those boys are getting most of what Merle thinks they need - and our hope and prayer is that the parents will also get what they need.