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Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:16 am
by steve-in-kville
We often hear the anti-child abuse movement discussed but I never read anything about domestic violence. Is this an issue among our circles? Is it just not happening? Or when it happens, its not spoken of?

By our culture I mean the bulk of us Anabaptists represented here. And by domestic violence, wife beating would be an example of that. Discuss as needed, keep the personal attacks out of it, though.

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am
by Josh
steve-in-kville wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:16 am We often hear the anti-child abuse movement discussed but I never read anything about domestic violence. Is this an issue among our circles? Is it just not happening? Or when it happens, its not spoken of?

By our culture I mean the bulk of us Anabaptists represented here. And by domestic violence, wife beating would be an example of that. Discuss as needed, keep the personal attacks out of it, though.
I have heard of it happening. Nearly always seems to go along with someone with a serious mental illness or head injury and then goes off their meds. There is the occasionally sociopath who will do whatever they can get away with and not get caught. But overall this is pretty rare in our Western European culture.

If you want to look at other cultures - this is a major point of teaching for missionaries, they have to teach against routine wife bearing to basically every convert.

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 12:17 pm
by silentreader
Josh wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am
steve-in-kville wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:16 am We often hear the anti-child abuse movement discussed but I never read anything about domestic violence. Is this an issue among our circles? Is it just not happening? Or when it happens, its not spoken of?

By our culture I mean the bulk of us Anabaptists represented here. And by domestic violence, wife beating would be an example of that. Discuss as needed, keep the personal attacks out of it, though.
I have heard of it happening. Nearly always seems to go along with someone with a serious mental illness or head injury and then goes off their meds. There is the occasionally sociopath who will do whatever they can get away with and not get caught. But overall this is pretty rare in our Western European culture.

If you want to look at other cultures - this is a major point of teaching for missionaries, they have to teach against routine wife bearing to basically every convert.
Yes it does happen.

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 12:28 pm
by steve-in-kville
I've only known of one that the police/law got involved, but only after years of suspicion.

There have been a few more that my wife wondered about... :?

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 12:40 pm
by ken_sylvania
Josh wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am If you want to look at other cultures - this is a major point of teaching for missionaries, they have to teach against routine wife bearing to basically every convert.
I guess child bearing is better than wife bearing, correct?

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 12:43 pm
by RZehr
ken_sylvania wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 12:40 pm
Josh wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am If you want to look at other cultures - this is a major point of teaching for missionaries, they have to teach against routine wife bearing to basically every convert.
I guess child bearing is better than wife bearing, correct?
Bear ye one another’s burdens.

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 1:05 pm
by Neto
Josh wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am
steve-in-kville wrote: ↑Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:16 am We often hear the anti-child abuse movement discussed but I never read anything about domestic violence. Is this an issue among our circles? Is it just not happening? Or when it happens, its not spoken of?

By our culture I mean the bulk of us Anabaptists represented here. And by domestic violence, wife beating would be an example of that. Discuss as needed, keep the personal attacks out of it, though.
I have heard of it happening. Nearly always seems to go along with someone with a serious mental illness or head injury and then goes off their meds. There is the occasionally sociopath who will do whatever they can get away with and not get caught. But overall this is pretty rare in our Western European culture.

If you want to look at other cultures - this is a major point of teaching for missionaries, they have to teach against routine wife [beating] to basically every convert.
The Banawa only did it when they were drunk, and it stopped when they became Christians. (And the fact that nearly all of the men became Christians, the lack of "drinking partners" pretty much stopped it for the rest of the men, too. Actually, I never heard of another case at all.)

The cultural deterrent was that the woman's brother would come after his brother-in-law, to defend his sister. In one case, where the woman had no brother, the husband's own father had his son tied up by the other men, so that he could whip him. He said "You cannot beat her ever again, because she has no brother." He promised, and I don't think he ever did again. (This was before there were any Christians in the tribe. He was the biggest guy in the tribe, and was a very soft-spoken man unless he was drunk, in which case he easily became violent.)

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2022 10:27 pm
by Valerie
I have a friend and Holmes county Ohio who has informed me of many cases like this. At times he has been involved in trying to help out. When we frequent Holmes County i do see flyers on bulletin boards reaching out to people to get help- apparently it is not as rare as we'd hope to believe.

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 2:28 pm
by KirkDaniel
Yes, I have heard of it happening in plain communities. But if by domestic violence you only mean wife beating, then I think your definition is too narrow. Read the definition on the link below and then re-ask your question. There should be hundreds of responses.

https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence

Re: Domestic violence within our plain culture?

Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 5:07 pm
by Neto
KirkDaniel wrote: ↑Tue Oct 04, 2022 2:28 pm Yes, I have heard of it happening in plain communities. But if by domestic violence you only mean wife beating, then I think your definition is too narrow. Read the definition on the link below and then re-ask your question. There should be hundreds of responses.

https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence
The apostle Paul speaks of a different type of marital sexual abuse - denying intimacy to a spouse.

Then there's verbal abuse. It seems to me that "non-resistant" people are too often really "good at" verbal abuse. You never get punched in the gut (or face), just in the spirit. It must not be as satisfying for the abuser, however, as it seems to just keep on bubbling over.
Don't believe that nonsense from the children's rhyme "Stick and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me". (How about "Sticks and stone hurt my bones, but words do hurt inside me.")