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I am really considering jumping into a single mother support ministry. When I think about abortion it is a plethora of feelings from rage, sadness, horrified, guilty, upset, etc. etc. I just can't stand it.

I was doing a lot of thinking on the subject. At my church it is comprised of VERY nuclear families, and also families that adopted children in. MOSTLY Married couples with their own children or adopted children, or widowed with their children. I know the anabaptist cultures really supports these types and this is all encouraged.

A concern I have however is that of single mothers in the world. We'll shake our finger saying "don't abort it's murder" and almost as quickly turn a blind eye to the lady who had the baby out of marriage. Often, we would see her as "tainted" (I hate saying that) in the culture. "I mean she's only 17, has a baby, and she's NEAR my daughter in youth!!!!!!!!!". The unfair side to this is a young man who fornicates only needs to repent. The young lady is "stuck" (I say that figuratively) with the baby. The young lady is frowned on and will always hold the "scarlet letter".

How do we stop this? If not anything the young lady who had a baby is incredibly brave and DID THE RIGHT THING despite the sin. If a young lady comes to YOUR church with a baby, who chose to have the baby rather than abort, how would your church look at her? Would she be judged? Would she be accepted widely? Would she always hold that "taintedness"?

My concern is BY THE JUDGMENTS that she gets, the hue, the taint, the non-acceptance, is one of the primary reasons young ladies turn to abortions. Because "nobody will love me, nobody will accept me (including church), nobody will want me, and I will be poor".

Are we helping the cause of stopping abortion by at least accepting young women who chose not to go through with abortion?

We don't have an obligation to make the consequences of sin easy - which is what single motherhood is. And fathers out of wedlock have serious consequences too like child support.

I see more support for single mothers than I do the difficulties young men face who can't keep up with child support payments and have a child with a mother who doesn't want them visiting, uses family court to extract revenge, etc.

Ultimately the message of the gospel is to repent for your past sins and reconcile as best as you can now. The best advice for the average single mother is to seek to have the child adopted when it's born. After that, reconciliation with the child's father is often a good path.

Trying to suss out blame for the choice to abort seems to me an effort that will consume a great deal of energy.

In my opinion, simply pouring that very same energy into your worthy efforts to help unattached mothers is a much more efficient and useful activity.

God bless your efforts.

i am praying for your efforts.
it's a most-serious matter that now involves even very young children in the world ..
i mean, the messages they get that will directly lead to their decisions.

first, to recognize that "the world" is now about what messages are taught within the DOE, paid with everyone's taxes. when it's recognized these secular messages are now coming through force of law, the magnitude of the problem is less surprising.

this is where churches and families must have Truth in order to be prepared to face what is in front of them. lots and lots of communication is needed.

next, i think it would make sense to become aware of what others are doing.
in recent years, i've read of many efforts being made by faith-based groups.

here decisions could be made whether to support existing efforts, learn from them, and so on.
i am encouraged by realizing there are dedicated folks committed to this work to focus on BOTH the unborn and their mothers.

one thought i have may be like yours, about how to correctly respond to the young and pregnant, and the young with new babies/young children.

the world's response is to simply include them in everything, as if "nothing happened."
i do not agree with this.

the fact is, upon pregnancy, whatever the parents' ages or circumstances, life-is-changed.
ignoring this is not helpful, esp not to the mother and father.

to me, raising awareness about the reality AND VALUE of parenthood should be a focus.
it is not, life-as-usual.

i value adoption, but believe the best choice is for babies to remain with their mothers/parents when possible. babies are programmed/designed to be with their bio mothers, it should always be a serious matter to interfere with that bond. when it's necessary, both mother and child deserve support for that drastic choice. it's a choice that lasts for the lifetime(s) following, likely affects the generation(s) to come.

just recently, i read medical science has now found changes to a mother's body on a molecular level, with EVERY pregnancy! even if there is miscarriage or abortion. the newly conceived child leaves "protections?" against disease in his mother's body that remain for life.

this is incredible (to me.)
we had 3 early miscarriages, and 2 healthy births. now, to think, each of those miscarried continues to affect my body?! it's almost too much to think of.

we are infants in understanding God's design. we really are.

because of your "plethora of feelings," i will hope you are able to connect with those who are contributing in tangible and spiritual ways. you have passion and energy! this can be used to contribute, and i hope it will be.

blessings for your journey.

Thanks for all the replies.

Of course I agree that the young ladies HAVE sinned, but really often the young girls are stuck with the "scarlet letter" of adultery forever.

My hope is that for the repentant single mothers that come to Christ that they won't forever be labeled as bad. That they will be accepted as a single adult capable of marriage (of course if they were not previously married). Also that we don't label her as bad forever. Unfortunately, I do think that we as people tend to do that.

It's that very "forever stain" which I think has turned many women to murdering their babies. It's kind of a tough issue, but I think a valid one. My hope is that we can also help/support these young ladies especially if there is a true repentance and conversion.

Chris wrote:My hope is that we can also help/support these young ladies especially if there is a true repentance and conversion.

Knowing at least one person that has had an abortion when young - that went on to get married and have a family afterward.
Just a word of caution that these people are quite delicate and burdened in a way that doesn't really escape them very easily at all. The pain can make them lash out at the people that want to help them the most - they can be scared of closeness with the fear of losing someone again. It may take putting true non-resistance into action of not being discouraged when helping. May God guide in handling these cases of hurting people looking for Peace.

By lessening the stigma associated with adultery we are not getting less of it, are we? We all carry permanent results of our sins. There is forgiveness of course, but an attempt to erase the fact of sins committed, or a normalization of what was once considered aberrant behavior, is counter productive. Social sanction can be very useful. The line of reasoning that says we blunt the Biblical condemnation of sin because we have reasoned out the result as being worse pretty much gives us license to make up our own moral code based more on human and cultural reasoning than scripture. This is analogous to the legalization of abortion being defended on the grounds that women died in botched abortions. True and horrible but incapable of justifying the wholesale slaughter which ensued and the accompanying cultural degradation nor removing the divine condemnation of killing your children.

Chris wrote: ........ How do we stop this? If not anything the young lady who had a baby is incredibly brave and DID THE RIGHT THING despite the sin. If a young lady comes to YOUR church with a baby, who chose to have the baby rather than abort, how would your church look at her? Would she be judged? Would she be accepted widely? Would she always hold that "taintedness"?
My concern is BY THE JUDGMENTS that she gets, the hue, the taint, the non-acceptance, is one of the primary reasons young ladies turn to abortions. Because "nobody will love me, nobody will accept me (including church), nobody will want me, and I will be poor".
Are we helping the cause of stopping abortion by at least accepting young women who chose not to go through with abortion?

Do what is right. Every day - not just when someone in need shows up or is seen. Every day as an assembly do what is right, teach what is true, purify because Jesus is pure, love because Jesus loves , obey the Father because Jesus obeys the Father... Through the centuries of martyrs, they did what is right. That's why they were martyred - they spoke up against oppression as God led, as God's Word Shows... they laid down their lives every day - helping one another, then also others, as God provides all - every good gift is from above.
Through the centuries and worse probably today than ever before - 'religion' apart from God's Life, outside of God, takes over and may 'appear' to help... deceptively, insidiously with the world counterfeit/ gov and religion...
YET, God may use some religion, gov, group, as He used that pagan king one day/ to show God's Sovereignty , Faithfulness, Power, Caring, as God Pleases....
i.e. God has and may use pagan and even apostate groups to direct the life of someone who turns to God. God is Sovereign, and Does As He Pleases, Perfectly.

Aaron wrote:

Chris wrote: ........ How do we stop this? If not anything the young lady who had a baby is incredibly brave and DID THE RIGHT THING despite the sin. If a young lady comes to YOUR church with a baby, who chose to have the baby rather than abort, how would your church look at her? Would she be judged? Would she be accepted widely? Would she always hold that "taintedness"?
My concern is BY THE JUDGMENTS that she gets, the hue, the taint, the non-acceptance, is one of the primary reasons young ladies turn to abortions. Because "nobody will love me, nobody will accept me (including church), nobody will want me, and I will be poor".
Are we helping the cause of stopping abortion by at least accepting young women who chose not to go through with abortion?

Do what is right. Every day - not just when someone in need shows up or is seen. Every day as an assembly do what is right, teach what is true, purify because Jesus is pure, love because Jesus loves , obey the Father because Jesus obeys the Father... Through the centuries of martyrs, they did what is right. That's why they were martyred - they spoke up against oppression as God led, as God's Word Shows... they laid down their lives every day - helping one another, then also others, as God provides all - every good gift is from above.
Through the centuries and worse probably today than ever before - 'religion' apart from God's Life, outside of God, takes over and may 'appear' to help... deceptively, insidiously with the world counterfeit/ gov and religion...
YET, God may use some religion, gov, group, as He used that pagan king one day/ to show God's Sovereignty , Faithfulness, Power, Caring, as God Pleases....
i.e. God has and may use pagan and even apostate groups to direct the life of someone who turns to God. God is Sovereign, and Does As He Pleases, Perfectly.

See the point of this thread I think was missed. The question was treated as to "giving a free pass to sin".

Look the mother knows she messed up.

If we with open arms will accept, not cast a glaring eye, not cast judgment, we may prevent a ton of abortions. What even if the mother would adopt?

The question stems from first person testimony of somebody who lived across from an abortion clinic. They say the bus would stop, and 2 Amish and 1 Menno girl would get off and go into the clinic.

It's a permanent scarlet letter for these girls. Much easier for them to secretly get a bus, kill the baby, go home, and they now are "free" from it.

Rather, in fear, they are judged, lettered, and "scarred" forever because of how they get treated by the "perfect people in their church". Rather than our own planks, our lusts, our sins, much easier to see their "big sin", and label them for life. Way easier for them 10 years later in a sobbing fest if it gets revealed to say "I had an abortion 10 years ago", than having a 10 year old out of wedlock. That child will constantly be called "out of wedlock" by the church. You know it, and I know it.

Are these labels and judgments causing more abortions? Our sins, our judgments, DO cause other sins.