When the wife wears the pants...

[MaxPC]

In years past, my wife was approached by a minister's wife in regards to her maternity dress pattern. The encounter was borderline disturbing to me... I came to find out it was the highlight topic at a "brother's meeting" that I failed to attend. Which lend me to wonder why all these other dudes are eyeing up my wife's pregnancy.

Same group... lead minister had an obsession with how the young girls should (or should not) dress. Every sermon, no matter the opening topic or background scripture, always circled around to what socks young women shouldn't wear.

We didn't stick around too long after that.

We practice guidelines regarding clothing coverage but I have yet to see anything remotely detailed as this. My wife though insists that the women and girls wear longer skirts and dresses, no pants (considered "men's" clothing). I must confess I rarely notice what others are wearing unless it is outright near nudity and that seems to be on the increase as summer approaches.

[Soloist]

One might ask why we teach modesty…. Either way, the undergarments have nothing to do with that outside of perhaps rainy days.
There is no reason a male should be teaching on undergarments at all. Should men teach dress standards from the pulpit? I would say it is in their authority but they should be attempting to have their wife manage the stand out issues. Ultimately though, there is a reason we have standards and a reason we ordained leaders in the church.
If a woman repeatedly is not listening to a leader’s wife and does not heed the teachings, the ministry then would have to directly address it. If they still didn’t heed, they would have to be disciplined.
Generally speaking this is one of the divisions between liberal minded and conservative minded.

[ohio jones]

There is no reason a male should be teaching on undergarments at all.

Try convincing Cory Anderson of that.

[Soloist]

There is no reason a male should be teaching on undergarments at all.

Try convincing Cory Anderson of that.

He is in a camp of his own.

[steve-in-kville]

Its one thing to teach modesty. Its another to get into some details that (as mentioned) his wife should be approaching the individual privately on. Preaching stuff like the ladies can't have nice lacey underthings or even regarding tight fitting sweaters goes over the line. This same minister also guilted young women into believing if a man fails, its because they dressed too suggestively.

[Robert]

[Soloist]

It does seem sometimes like society isn’t really happy with equality, they want the roles reversed.

[temporal1]

It does seem sometimes like society isn’t really happy with equality, they want the roles reversed.

Many are itchn’ for matriarchy. (i believe a logical result of fatherless homes.)
i pray the many who are focused on reversing the trend back to traditional families are wildly successful.

[danfreed]

From the opening thread...
I have seen marriages where the wife dominated the father and ruined his self esteem. I could go on. My question is, is it possible to approach such situations with a loving heart? Is it even our job to step in?
Comment and discuss.
Steve,

Thanks for these questions, Steve.
Some of the posts are very insightful. Especially from you, Robert, and some others.

My wife and I have both hurt each other at times, with our selfishness and strong opinions.


Is it possible to approach such situations with a loving heart?
Yes, with God's help. Faith in Him; humility, repentance and forgiveness before Him and each other work!
Because of the grace of Jesus, our marriage and mutual love has grown even through difficulties.

Lots of scripture to support that Jesus leadership style is servanthood. Not domination.

Is it even our job to step in?
Yes, if the Holy Spirit leads you to help as a friend, peacemaker, counselor.
Not as their Savior!

Otherwise, NO.
(Including the misguided "church discipline" tried by ultraconservatives who play power/control games with clothing rules, etc.)
Such rules and power games are not helpful for true godliness and relationship restoration; as our Brother Paul writes under Holy Spirit inspiration...

I write this to prevent you from being led astray by someone or other’s attractive arguments. For though I am a long way away from you in body, in spirit I am by your side, watching like a proud father the solid steadfastness of your faith in Christ. Just as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so go on living in him—in simple faith. Grow out of him as a plant grows out of the soil it is planted in, becoming more and more sure of the faith as you were taught it, and your lives will overflow with joy and thankfulness.
Be careful that nobody spoils your faith through intellectualism or high-sounding nonsense. Such stuff is at best founded on men’s ideas of the nature of the world and disregards Christ!
Yet it is in him that God gives a full and complete expression of himself (within the physical limits that he set himself in Christ). Moreover, your own completeness is only realised in him, who is the authority over all authorities, and the supreme power over all powers.

So if, through your faith in Christ, you are dead to the principles of this world’s life, why, as if you were still part and parcel of this world-wide system, do you take the slightest notice of these purely human prohibitions—“Don’t touch this,” “Don’t taste that” and “Don’t handle the other”? “This”, “that” and “the other” will all pass away after use! I know that these regulations look wise with their self-inspired efforts at worship, their policy of self-humbling, and their studied neglect of the body. But in actual practice they do honour, not to God, but to man’s own pride.
Colossians 2:4-10; 20-23 (Phillips) Underlining is mine

[Robert]

And some of it is training.