A Mennonite view of divorce and remarriage

[GaryK]

So you ask some people to divorce a second time because they divorced a first time?

If it was a 2nd marriage that in your view of scripture is not a legitimate one, would you ask them to divorce?

If I ran a church, we would try to prevent such a marriage. But I don't see any precedent in the New Testament or in the early church for breaking up such a marriage if it happens. When Jesus told us not to divorce, he could have made exceptions for that. He didn't.

At least you are consistent. But it seems that not "breaking up" such a marriage would condemn them for eternity. Paul makes it clear that adulterers will not be in the Kingdom of God. Is there no hope for such people? If yes, what is required?

[Josh]

Which standard of adultery determines admission to heaven or hell?

Do we go with the more moderate Beachy, Midwest, etc. standard or the more strict standard of Eastern, Followers of the Way in Boston, etc.?

[Wade]

Which standard of adultery determines admission to heaven or hell?

Do we go with the more moderate Beachy, Midwest, etc. standard or the more strict standard of Eastern, Followers of the Way in Boston, etc.?

Eternity apart from Christ is too risky of a chance to take for me.

If it could be even close to adultery I personally would like to stay a long ways from it.

[GaryK]

Which standard of adultery determines admission to heaven or hell?

Do we go with the more moderate Beachy, Midwest, etc. standard or the more strict standard of Eastern, Followers of the Way in Boston, etc.?

I think we would all agree that what God considers adultery will be what "determines admission to heaven or hell". All other standards are man-derived. Divorce and remarriage are man's ideas, not God's.

[Josh]

So, should I reconcile with my ex wife or not? According to the Followers of the Way, doing so will consign both of us to hell. According to Beachy or Midwest, we should reconcile.

There isn't really a "play it safe" option here. And I think God does determine what adultery is - but that doesn't mean get to determine that some marriages or reconciliations of past marriages are actually "adultery", now, does it?

[Wade]

I guess we are just basing off of things we have seen then?
And if that is the case: The simple fact is, I never see any good fruit from remarriages.

Do you think I'm a piece of bad fruit, then?

Do you think my ex wife is a piece of bad fruit? Because her dad was previously married too.

Maybe that's why she and I had so many problems. Maybe we are just doomed from the start.

We have never met... And I didn't say that good fruit never comes from remarriages.


The point I was trying to make is that just because you have not seen something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
And whether we have seen it work or not I believe God is excited to bless those who are faithful in obeying His will when it looks impossible.

[Bootstrap]

At least you are consistent. But it seems that not "breaking up" such a marriage would condemn them for eternity. Paul makes it clear that adulterers will not be in the Kingdom of God. Is there no hope for such people? If yes, what is required?

The emphasis in Scripture is "be faithful to your spouse!"

There's an exception for adultery (Matthew 5, Matthew 19), and I think there is an exception if your spouse abandons you (1 Corinthians 7), allowing you to move on in either case. If you divorce and remarry otherwise, that is adultery against your first marriage - it breaks the first marriage in the same way that a normal act of adultery would.

But I don't think it's only adultery, it's also a marriage. You have made a commitment that you now need to be faithful to. Jesus never says that his commandments hold only for some marriages, and he calls the Samaritan woman's 5 husbands all husbands. The early Christians did not ask people to divorce in this situation.

If putting away your wife "causes her to commit adultery", that's just as true if you were previously married. If you have a spouse to be faithful to, that's what you should do. If your spouse is a serial adulterer then marital faithfulness really isn't an option. If your spouse abandons you and marries someone else then marital faithfulness really isn't an option.

Here's the passage that talks about adulterers not inheriting the Kingdom of God:

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

I really don't think Paul was thinking about second marriages when he wrote that. If he really believed that, I think he would probably have said so explicitly.

[Ernie]

So, should I reconcile with my ex wife or not? According to the Followers of the Way, doing so will consign both of us to hell. According to Beachy or Midwest, we should reconcile.

Maybe half the Beachy's. The other half take a similar position as Eastern or Pilgrim.
In actuality, I don't know of any conservative Anabaptist groups that would say a person is going to hell based on some of the nuanaced different positions within the "remarriage is a state of adultery camp" as depicted on this chart.

[Josh]

So, should I reconcile with my ex wife or not? According to the Followers of the Way, doing so will consign both of us to hell. According to Beachy or Midwest, we should reconcile.

Maybe half the Beachy's. The other half take a similar position as Eastern or Pilgrim.
In actuality, I don't know of any conservative Anabaptist groups that would say a person is going to hell based on some of the nuanaced different positions within the "remarriage is a state of adultery camp" as depicted on this chart.

Followers of the Way (at least Matthew Milioni and Tim Powers) would quite confidently say one would lose their salvation based on the nuances of that chart.

[Bootstrap]

If it could be even close to adultery I personally would like to stay a long ways from it.

Me too.