What age difference is acceptable?

[Josh]

Personally, I just can’t see why any woman over the age of 25 would ever date a guy under the age of 20. Sorry, but I think it’s fairly well understood that men tend to mature slower than women, and I just feel like the maturity level would be extremely unbalanced.

That’s a rather bigoted statement. Some friends of mine got married at 29 (the woman) and 19 and they are quite happy and seem well matched.

[Sliceitup]

Personally, I just can’t see why any woman over the age of 25 would ever date a guy under the age of 20. Sorry, but I think it’s fairly well understood that men tend to mature slower than women, and I just feel like the maturity level would be extremely unbalanced.

That’s a rather bigoted statement. Some friends of mine got married at 29 (the woman) and 19 and they are quite happy and seem well matched.

Fairly sure that you also know exactly what I wrote in the following sentences.

[RZehr]

If 16 year-olds are mature enough to get married then 16 year-olds are also mature enough to:

join the military and be deployed to fight in war zones overseas
vote
drink alcohol, smoke, buy pot, etc.
buy handguns and firearms
sign binding business contracts
be tried in adult courts for all offenses
get commercial drivers licenses and drive semis on the highways
make all their own medical decisions including being transgender without parental involvement or consent

If you believe that all of the above is true then sure, 16 year-olds are also mature enough to get married.

I teach 16 year-olds (10th graders) and I don't find ANY of the above to be true. And the only one that might be marginally debatable is voting.

I agree with you in that the listed things are not all of equal consequence.

But they all go to the maturity of 16 year-olds to make adult decisions and take on adult-responsibilities.

People here talk about how things used to be in generations past. But back in the 19th century we let 16 year-olds work and die in coal mines too. In fact we let 12 year-olds do it. The old ways weren't always correct or best. These children spent their lives working and dying a mile underground in PA coal mines in the 19th century. Breaking big rocks into smaller rocks and squeezing into small passageways that adult men couldn't fit into. Were those really the good old days?

What are you going on about?

Today in Oregon a 14 year old is allowed to take an AR-15, and go into the National Forest and hunt bears and cougars alone. If that is too safe, or too dangerous, he can hunt them with a bow and arrow instead. Other states it’s probably younger yet.

This 14 year old is also allowed to drive alone a $550,000 John Deere 9620RX tractor, which has 620 horsepower, weighs 55,000 pounds, is 10 feet wide, 13.5 feet tall, which can drive right over cars. All while pulling a 12 foot wide, $500,000 seed planter behind him. And he can go on the highways sand through down towns.
And in Oregon every year there are 25 to 35 serious auto accidents involving farm equipment, particularly during summer and fall harvest months.

At 16, he is allowed to drive a 12 ton, $100,000 vehicle at 70 miles per hour, alone. He can even do it while loaded with a bunch of cans of gasoline and boxes of fireworks, while playing with a lighter.

All I’m saying is that, no, we don’t actually require a person to be 18 in order to have responsibilities. Nor do we give them full rights even at 18. They can’t even buy handgun ammunition until they are 21. And good luck trying to rent a car until you are 25 years old. Also, I guess we try to restrict certain PG13 movies to age 13+. And we also require children to be 13 to get social media accounts.

So just because we might decide to allow a 16 to do something, doesn’t necessarily mean it is illogical, or inconsistent to not allow them to do other things.
I don’t say, that just because a 14 year old can do the above, that means they are mature enough to vote or get married. And just because society determined that a 13 year old can have a social media account and agree to terms and conditions, doesn’t mean they are mature enough sign other binding legal contracts.

A big consideration that you haven’t touched on, is the aspect of sin. Marriage at 16 probably isn’t a sin. Some of the other things on your list are. So of course no one should be doing those things at any age. So I would discourage all 16 year olds on up to avoid them.

[Sudsy]

what is an unacceptable age difference? What if the man is the older one and what if the woman is the older one?

I would say, as the question reads, there is no unacceptable age difference between men and women.

[justme]

i shared my opinion above, flagging “opinion” with capital letters, to help the reading-impaired not to overlook it.

this is a me OPINION, not a moderator opinion.

i am SO TIRED of seeing you post these snide little put downs to people.
why are you so nasty to people who you don't like?
why can you have an opinion, but others are not allowed to have an opinion that is different than yours?



yes, there are people here on md who i do not read their posts, because they are just stupid, or they are nasty to folks they don't like, or they feel that their opinion is the only one worth having, or they have been proven to have lied in the past, or they are better than thou, or they know it all. i don't really know why i stay here anymore. because there really aren't many people who i connect with anymore. i seldom post because i really don't care to have a conversation w the folks who will answer. i have lots i could say, but it's not worth the aggravation to me.

and maybe it's a grumpy old woman issue. that's certainly a possibility.

but can you PLEASE STOP w all the snide little put downs?

[temporal1]

temporal1 wrote: ↑Sat Apr 15, 2023 6:46 pm
i shared my opinion above, flagging “opinion” with capital letters, to help the reading-impaired not to overlook it.

this is a me OPINION, not a moderator opinion.

As God is my witness, i did not intend to infer otherwise. i’m not sure which words confused that. Sorry. Not intended.
I intended it to clearly be a ME opinion. Failed!

i shared my opinion above, flagging “opinion” with capital letters, to help the reading-impaired not to overlook it.

this is a me OPINION, not a moderator opinion.

i am SO TIRED of seeing you post these snide little put downs to people.
why are you so nasty to people who you don't like?
why can you have an opinion, but others are not allowed to have an opinion that is different than yours?

yes, there are people here on md who i do not read their posts, because they are just stupid, or they are nasty to folks they don't like, or they feel that their opinion is the only one worth having, or they have been proven to have lied in the past, or they are better than thou, or they know it all. i don't really know why i stay here anymore. because there really aren't many people who i connect with anymore. i seldom post because i really don't care to have a conversation w the folks who will answer. i have lots i could say, but it's not worth the aggravation to me.

and maybe it's a grumpy old woman issue. that's certainly a possibility.

but can you PLEASE STOP w all the snide little put downs?

Thank you, i always appreciate mod guidance. (2 wrongs do not make 1 right.) There is a lot of grouchiness on forum (and everywhere). It’s important to resist it.

i was always a forum problem. i’m not proud of it. or happy with it. i dedicate many prayers to hoping for forgiveness.

i recall early-on, you found my “fluff” dismal. i was new to forums, didn’t know what fluff was.
i was really happy to find MD. so many healthy, living, vibrant souls! it was a lifeline. (to numbers of people.)

you’ve helped me with some important forum matters, thank you again, for each one.

[Grace]

i shared my opinion above, flagging “opinion” with capital letters, to help the reading-impaired not to overlook it.

this is a me OPINION, not a moderator opinion.

i am SO TIRED of seeing you post these snide little put downs to people.
why are you so nasty to people who you don't like?
why can you have an opinion, but others are not allowed to have an opinion that is different than yours?



yes, there are people here on md who i do not read their posts, because they are just stupid, or they are nasty to folks they don't like, or they feel that their opinion is the only one worth having, or they have been proven to have lied in the past, or they are better than thou, or they know it all. i don't really know why i stay here anymore. because there really aren't many people who i connect with anymore. i seldom post because i really don't care to have a conversation w the folks who will answer. i have lots i could say, but it's not worth the aggravation to me.

and maybe it's a grumpy old woman issue. that's certainly a possibility.

but can you PLEASE STOP w all the snide little put downs?

Oh the irony, LOL...making accusations about other posters, accusing them of writing content that is just stupid or nasty. And accusing posters of being liars, that they think they are better than others, and that they are know it alls.

After all those "snide put downs" a request is made by that same poster to STOP other's, "snide put downs".

Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up.

Now back to the topic at hand. We have several couple friends that the husband is 10 years younger than the wife. It isn't an issue, but I do find it a good thing as many times men do not live as long as women and a younger man might give them more time together. Compare that to another couple where the woman is 10 years younger than her husband. Now she kindly and graciously is caring for her husband in his old age afflictions. This a good thing for him, but it is very stressful for her.

[justme]

you are right, grace, you can't make some stuff up. this included.

i stand by what i said.

[Grace]

you are right, grace, you can't make some stuff up. this included.

i stand by what i said.

LOL, Well, I got to give you credit, for standing by your post containing numerous "snide put downs" and then requesting that others STOP their "snide put downs".



Temp had a gracious response though.

[justme]

you may want to repost your "back to the topic at hand" part of your posting, grace.
bc otherwise, there's a pretty good chance that these posts will end up in the briar patch, and that back to the topic at hand part of your post doesn't deserve to be in the briar patch.