Fussy babies during church services... Part 2

[Grace]

Sometimes when I hear a child crying and know the parents are struggling, I pray a silent prayer for the parents and the child. One thing that does bother me though, is when we hear loud crying, (the lungs of some of these little ones is astounding at times), and I see others in the congregation swivel their heads and crane their necks around as far as possible, to see who has the crying child.

[Judas Maccabeus]

My former evangelical church died. One of the reasons, among many, was it was not child friendly. I even experienced the senior pastor yelling during a sermon, for a mother to get a slightly noisy baby to the nursery. I cringed. Soon, for this reason, as well as many others, there were no families with young children. The whole place communicated "young children unwelcome here." Fellowship hall was decorated with lots of fragile stuff, no games or such here, it was set up for catered banquets that many of our families with children strained to afford. When this pastor died, some of the remaining leadership tried to right the course, but it was too late. When I preached, I was never interrupted by crying babies, because there were none. Just a bunch of bickering senior citizens, I nearly rolled off my chair when I heard the "Grumble Song" the first time. I as an elder, was among the youngest members. Eventually it became financially unsustainable. It failed partially because of economics, and partially because much of my generation, and those younger than me felt unwelcome. Other factors played into it as well.

So when I hear crying children, when I am approached during a social time by a child with a book asking me to read it to them, or with a piece of artwork, I rejoice. I would far rather preach over a crying child than to NEVER have to do this. It means we have a future.

This was extremely common in evangelical circles in the 1980s/1990s. The homeschooling movement tended to be in direct conflict with the above type of approach and started the "family integrated church" movement (which proposes that children should stay with parents during the service).

Interestingly, conservative Anabaptists have always been comfortable with both - they may have Sunday school classes for children but have children back in the auditorium for the main service. Eventually once mature enough they may earn the privilege to sit with their friends but that's after they've learned to be quiet in the service.

More interestingly, the CAs keep a quiet church service despite many fussy babies and children. When guests come they are often surprised (and often embarrassed if their own children aren't behaving as well). A place that is diligent about welcoming worldly people into the church makes them feel comfortable. I have heard many testimonies of worldly people who visited church, came with their kids who were crawling under the pews, and one of the other ladies offered to help entertain one of the children and they actually made it through sitting thru a whole service. (One such lady had two children, out of wedlock... last I heard they're both married now in the church, 20 years later. What a wonderful testimony.)

Yes, during the 80s-90s you had "Junior Church" which got children out of the main service, for church as well as Sunday School time. It was presented as a way to present age appropriate material to the children as well as to relieve crowding in the main service. In our church, it went up to Junior High at one point. Children were not welcomed into the main service until 10th grade! So it ran from "cradle roll" to Junior High. It proved to be a disaster. The children basically were babysat during this time. We had senior highs that were completely ignorant of some of the basics. I wound up being tasked with teaching senior high Sunday school, to teach the "basics". Most of this changed with a change in pastor. As I said, he tried to right the ship, but failed. I could go on forever. I will admit I was overseas during much of this time, and was paying little attention to what was going on at home. You had 10th graders that had never seen an adult service suddenly in one.

Most of the "family integrated church" people I knew were also into Bill Gothard as well. They tended to never stay in one place.

My take on it is that the Conservative Mennonite movement has it right. Some age separated teaching, but a time when the church is together as a family.

[Neto]

Scanning down over the list of recent topics just now (after returning from evening church services), I at first thought this one said "FURR babies during church services." I thought, Help the Poor and the Needy! What's next?! (Then I realized I had misread it...)

[steve-in-kville]

I was thinking about this thread today. We once knew a family that would not allow their children to use the bathroom during the church service. (provided they were no longer in diapers, of course). My wife and I thought this was a bit excessive.

Now a constant parade to the bathroom from the same few, there I'd have an issue.

[Judas Maccabeus]

I was thinking about this thread today. We once knew a family that would not allow their children to use the bathroom during the church service. (provided they were no longer in diapers, of course). My wife and I thought this was a bit excessive.

Now a constant parade to the bathroom from the same few, there I'd have an issue.

I agree. Sooner or later the parents will figure out which is genuine and which is not.

[Josh]

I was thinking about this thread today. We once knew a family that would not allow their children to use the bathroom during the church service. (provided they were no longer in diapers, of course). My wife and I thought this was a bit excessive.

Now a constant parade to the bathroom from the same few, there I'd have an issue.

When I was a youngster in the 1980s we didn’t go to the bathroom during the service and neither did anyone else. Completely standard at the time. We would go between Sunday school and the main service, though (I clearly remember it, probably because as a toddler I had to go every single Sunday).

Nowadays it is normal for a child to think they need to go 2 or 3 times in a 1 hour service. Clearly, things have changed.