Marrying Someone With a Promiscuous Past

[Judas Maccabeus]

Or, in the case of a certain young man interested in my daughter way back when, she could tell him that he would likely die waiting, that she just was not interested.

Folks, if a marriage proposal is a complete surprise to the gal, than something has gone off the rails badly. My wife was somewhat surprised, but not totally so. She said she kinda suspected something like that was coming.

Generally, I am sure women can sense that this one guy is not ordinary.

Holdemans and Apostolic Christians do blind proposals. Although Holdemans do have a custom of sending a card first.

Yeah, right. I doubt in that setting the gal has no idea. I,have lived in arranged marriage cultures. It was one where unmarried people did not even talk. Gals seem to pick up things like body language, even slightly more than casual looks, what their siblings notice. While it may be a blind proposal, I doubt if it is totally blind. I just can’t buy it.

[Josh]

Yeah, right. I doubt in that setting the gal has no idea. I,have lived in arranged marriage cultures. It was one where unmarried people did not even talk. Gals seem to pick up things like body language, even slightly more than casual looks, what their siblings notice. While it may be a blind proposal, I doubt if it is totally blind. I just can’t buy it.

Holdemans are less so this way, but Apostolic Christians really do do blind proposals. I usually like to ask a married couple their "love story", as it is called, and there is nothing ACs enjoy more than sharing how it started with a blind proposal.

One of the more famous stories is that a fellow sent a girl a proposal, but wasn't sure of her full name, but sent it anyway because his conviction he felt was so strong. Well, it ended up with a different girl than he intended, which he found out when she came into town the first time to visit and he picked her up at the airport (after the proposal was accepted).

He felt the Lord intended for this to happen and it only made his conviction stronger. And the girl agreed.

So I shared with an AC couple once that I had heard this story, and they informed me that that story was about the two of them...

[steve-in-kville]

In my experience, men might be visually aroused and attracted to women from far. Men are very visual. But women not as much. They tend to need to get to know a person first before deciding if they are attracted to him. At least that is my experience over the years of marriage and raising 3 daughters. The women here on this forum can certainly jump in and correct me if I have that wrong.

I agree with this. And I know there are numerous studies to support this.

[steve-in-kville]

A month is not a lot of time to get to someone before they marry them.

Not in today's time. My grandparents only dated a few weeks until they were engaged, but that was a case where the families knew each other and they communicated in person. Maybe an occasional phone call, but there was no texting and social media. Different era.

[Josh]

A month is not a lot of time to get to someone before they marry them.

Not in today's time. My grandparents only dated a few weeks until they were engaged, but that was a case where the families knew each other and they communicated in person. Maybe an occasional phone call, but there was no texting and social media. Different era.

How long did their marriage last?

[steve-in-kville]

A month is not a lot of time to get to someone before they marry them.

Not in today's time. My grandparents only dated a few weeks until they were engaged, but that was a case where the families knew each other and they communicated in person. Maybe an occasional phone call, but there was no texting and social media. Different era.

How long did their marriage last?

Until death. My grandpa died about 13 years ago, Grandma died a few years ago during the pandemic.

[Josh]

Not in today's time. My grandparents only dated a few weeks until they were engaged, but that was a case where the families knew each other and they communicated in person. Maybe an occasional phone call, but there was no texting and social media. Different era.

How long did their marriage last?

Until death. My grandpa died about 13 years ago, Grandma died a few years ago during the pandemic.

Unbelievable - they didn't spend a few years getting to know each other first... then living together to make sure they're "compatible"... they really beat the odds!

[steve-in-kville]

Unbelievable - they didn't spend a few years getting to know each other first... then living together to make sure they're "compatible"... they really beat the odds!

We all can agree that the dynamics of a relationship, marriage and having a family were way different then. That is a thread all in its own, though.

[Ernie]

Holdemans and Apostolic Christians do blind proposals. Although Holdemans do have a custom of sending a card first.

Did one group learn this from the other or how did this originate?

[eccentric_rambler]

We all can agree that the dynamics of a relationship, marriage and having a family were way different then. That is a thread all in its own, though.

No, I think the closest we can come to an agreement is that the dynamics of a relationship, marriage and having a family have greatly changed in some parts of society.