What is the Anabaptist approach to whiners?

[JohnL]

Perhaps some 'whining' is (like constant 'conspiracy theorizing') really just a cry for social interaction, a sort of ramped up 'small talk'.

(Something someone already said above suggested this thought to me. So maybe offering interaction on a different topic is the best response in both cases.)

I agree. It can become a habit for people who just want to interact and don’t know how. It’s like they’re stuck in teen mode. I think their social gear shift doesn’t work.

[JohnH]

Perhaps some 'whining' is (like constant 'conspiracy theorizing') really just a cry for social interaction, a sort of ramped up 'small talk'.

(Something someone already said above suggested this thought to me. So maybe offering interaction on a different topic is the best response in both cases.)

I agree. It can become a habit for people who just want to interact and don’t know how. It’s like they’re stuck in teen mode. I think their social gear shift doesn’t work.

perhaps a good place to start would be threads like this, which are started with seemingly no agenda other than to just gripe and complain about a certain class of people (who aren't even here to defend themselves)

[Bootstrap]

perhaps a good place to start would be threads like this, which are started with seemingly no agenda other than to just gripe and complain about a certain class of people (who aren't even here to defend themselves)

I think griping about other people, coming up with negative labels to brand them with, and talking about how we are the good people and they are the bad people are all typical middle school behavior. And it can make it hard to actually discuss anything as Christians.

In general, I think most social media encourages us to interact on a middle school level, seeing ourselves as victims, polarizing, short-circuiting the time that it takes to reflect on things, pray about them, think about what is helpful or what promotes the Kingdom of God. I'm sometimes finding it helpful to take a few days off and consider a response. I'm trying to find fruit of the Spirit responses when I can. For me, at least, that means less instant responses.

[Robert]

Rejoice in suffering.

Some days that’s easier said than done. There’s still a lot of folks in tents after the massive floods. Temps will dip to single digits next week. I’m opening our basement sleeping space to two families. I’m praying more folks will step forward to help.

Honestly, I found if people know they are heard, it goes a long way. Been with a lot of people who lost family and letting them tell stories always seemed to help. People are not always looking for a fix. Often they just want someone to share their pain. Bear one another's burdens. If someone whines repeatedly, then asking them how they want to fix it can often turn a whine into something else, but not the first time one hears. Now that is for whiners.

I can remember a visit from a lady when we first moved into Arkansas. She stopped by and asked if it was haughty to want indoor plumbing. I told her not at all and we would be there the next day to install it. Her husband had died a few years before and it was left unfinished. I did not consider that whining.

I personally whine to my wife often, but that is just for attention. It doesn't work very well, but I keep trying. Had a shower wall fall on me and gouge me in the chest. I even showed her the scratch. She never stopped painting to kiss my ouchy. I will whine about it a time or two again today then something else will take precedent and I will whine about that.

[Bootstrap]

Rejoice in suffering.

Some days that’s easier said than done. There’s still a lot of folks in tents after the massive floods. Temps will dip to single digits next week. I’m opening our basement sleeping space to two families. I’m praying more folks will step forward to help.

Honestly, I found if people know they are heard, it goes a long way. Been with a lot of people who lost family and letting them tell stories always seemed to help. People are not always looking for a fix. Often they just want someone to share their pain. Bear one another's burdens. If someone whines repeatedly, then asking them how they want to fix it can often turn a whine into something else, but not the first time one hears. Now that is for whiners.

I can remember a visit from a lady when we first moved into Arkansas. She stopped by and asked if it was haughty to want indoor plumbing. I told her not at all and we would be there the next day to install it. Her husband had died a few years before and it was left unfinished. I did not consider that whining.

I personally whine to my wife often, but that is just for attention. It doesn't work very well, but I keep trying. Had a shower wall fall on me and gouge me in the chest. I even showed her the scratch. She never stopped painting to kiss my ouchy. I will whine about it a time or two again today then something else will take precedent and I will whine about that.

Great post, Robert.

Here's something I wrote recently that rhymes with what you are saying:

Avoiding superficial comfort

People often want simple answers. We like sermons that are neatly summarized in three clear points that all start with the same letter. But our lives are not so easily summarized. We often want comfort that does not challenge us—"as a drunken man leans on a lamppost—for support, not for illumination." But there's always a little voice inside us that knows this is a kind of denial.

Comfort and healing and support are important. I need support from Kathy and family and friends and my church, I need to know that God is present. But real comfort is found not in numbing pain or avoiding pain, but in trusting God to transform it into something beautiful. I do not need the people around me to offer simple answers, I just need them to be with me, with their eyes open.

Trying to escape pain can be like taking medication that dulls your mind—it might bring temporary relief, but it keeps you from living fully or seeing clearly. There is a kind of religion that is like that, a religion of denial. Marx was right to call that kind of religion "the opiate of the people." God doesn’t promise to shield us from hardship, but He does promise to walk with us through it. Often, it’s in the hard moments—in our doubts, struggles, and questions—that God shapes us, reveals His grace, and shows us His greater purpose.

These are times that we experience life at its fullest. Without blinders.

[Franklin]

God complained a lot in the Old Testament. Is God a whiner?

[Robert]

God complained a lot in the Old Testament. Is God a whiner?

THose were pretty legit reasons. I would not call it whining, but just speaking the truth.

[Thomas_muntzer]

Complaining about complainers, are we?

hahaha oh the irony

[JohnL]

A lot of people have legitimate reasons to "whine". Opening up your hands to help by offering food, shelter, clothes, or even just a listening ear is a great way to be the hands and feet of Christ. JohnL offering up the basement is a good example.

Sometime people complain about things that neither they nor you have the power to change or even address. I think of complaints about management or policies or specific scenarios that happen at work. Complaints happen over these things, and I can't really offer my basement sleeping area, or anything else. In these instances, it's either advice, distraction, or a listening ear. Sometimes just having an arsenal of other topics to distract from negative talk is a good thing to have. Sometimes people just want to hear something like "Wow, that's tough. Sorry you have to put up with that. It's frustrating that there's not much you can do about it. It's even more frustrating being powerless in that situation." Sometimes people just want to hear that someone understands and affirms their frustrations, because they know they can't do anything about them. Solidarity can help wash away the anger and resentment that builds up due to circumstances in life.
I will note that affirming someone's struggles and engaging in solidarity has to be done carefully. Oftentimes, what people need is an ally who will affirm their struggle. But what they think they want is an ally who will fight with them (or at least join in their hatred of) other people. At the hospital I work for, I have to be very careful to empathize with complaining coworkers and affirm their frustrations WITHOUT joining in on insulting or deriding other PEOPLE (like management). People often want to just identify their enemies and bash on them. As a Christian, I want to affirm their experience of a broken world but I never want to engage in verbal warfare (even/especially gossip or slander) against PEOPLE. That can be hard but complainers are open to this, even if it's not exactly what they are fishing for.

Perhaps some 'whining' is (like constant 'conspiracy theorizing') really just a cry for social interaction, a sort of ramped up 'small talk'.

(Something someone already said above suggested this thought to me. So maybe offering interaction on a different topic is the best response in both cases.)

Great words. Good advice. Thanks!