What age difference is acceptable?

[Ken]

Fun fact. My wife is seven years older than me. I know of many other marriages where there are large gaps in age, but no one really makes a big deal out of it (if they even know).

My wife and I are 6 years apart. We were both in our 30s when we got married.

I don't think age difference is particularly important. What I think is important is minimum ages to get married. I think 16 is too young to get married whether you are marrying another 16 year old or someone 26 or 36.

[Sliceitup]

what is an unacceptable age difference? What if the man is the older one and what if the woman is the older one?

I’m curious why you’re asking the question. I personally think it’s very much dependent on the situation. It depends on personalities, the current ages of the couple, and other situations in their life.

In our marriage there is an 8 year gap. It works for us, but there have been downsides to it at times. Not large things, but things like difficulty in finding a social group where we both “fit in.” Usually we end up with people who’s children are the same age as ours.

[Josh]

Fun fact. My wife is seven years older than me. I know of many other marriages where there are large gaps in age, but no one really makes a big deal out of it (if they even know).

My wife and I are 6 years apart. We were both in our 30s when we got married.

I don't think age difference is particularly important. What I think is important is minimum ages to get married. I think 16 is too young to get married whether you are marrying another 16 year old or someone 26 or 36.

It used to be completely normal back when marriages were a lot stronger. It’s time to stop treating grown humans as children. I can’t think of any reason my grandparents should have waited around an extra 2 years.

[Sliceitup]

Fun fact. My wife is seven years older than me. I know of many other marriages where there are large gaps in age, but no one really makes a big deal out of it (if they even know).

My wife and I are 6 years apart. We were both in our 30s when we got married.

I don't think age difference is particularly important. What I think is important is minimum ages to get married. I think 16 is too young to get married whether you are marrying another 16 year old or someone 26 or 36.

It used to be completely normal back when marriages were a lot stronger. It’s time to stop treating grown humans as children. I can’t think of any reason my grandparents should have waited around an extra 2 years.

You’ve mentioned you have a child, but am I assuming correctly that child is not yet a teenager?

[steve-in-kville]

16 is too young to get married. I was three years older than that and hindsight I was still too young. But we made it work. No regrets.

[Soloist]

16 is too young to get married. I was three years older than that and hindsight I was still too young. But we made it work. No regrets.

So… when is old enough? I think that people are never properly prepared for something they never have experienced. Perhaps parenting is an even better example…
We all have regret for past choices but I would hazard a guess for the majority of us, marriage wasn’t one of them.

[Robert]

YoungerAge = OlderAge / 2 + 10

[temporal1]

Slice:
.. Usually we end up with people who’s [whose] children are the same age as ours.

i expect this is the case for most, no matter age combinations of parents.

16 is too young to get married. I was three years older than that and hindsight I was still too young. But we made it work. No regrets.

So… when is old enough? I think that people are never properly prepared for something they never have experienced.
Perhaps parenting is an even better example…

We all have regret for past choices but I would hazard a guess for the majority of us, marriage wasn’t one of them.

All of life is based on the inexperienced becoming experienced. Most presidents have never been president before.
When a baby decides to walk, it requires lots of stumbles to get there. That’s real life.

There’s usually much excitement about entering into a marriage contract, all the hopes+dreams .. but, in reality, the central purpose is about protecting the union against challenges and difficulties, the hard times, which are bound to come.

For a period, many guessed that living together before marriage would prevent divorce. Experience!
Decades later, largely normalized, that social experiment was no magic pill, either.

i 100% agree about parenting being an example of the inexperienced taking on life long roles; before being parents, we are all so opinionated about what parenting is/should be - when it comes, no matter how many books read, it’s beyond anything anticipated! For life!

By God’s design, that’s what life is. The inexperienced becoming experienced. God is above all, knows all.
We have Him as we muddle through. The most important contract in our lives is with God.

[temporal1]

Slice:
I’m curious why you’re asking the question. ..

me, too.
i think it’s largely cultural, social, and individual.

in recent years, as faiths+cultures continue to combine/conflict, there have been new questions about child brides, even preteens, as well as cultural conflicts about child abuse. it’s true, laws varied about age for marriage, often requiring parents’ signatures to get around, but, in the U.S., these were still largely within Christian framework.

one of my uncles would sometimes wryly chuckle that when he was drafted for the Korean War, i think at 18, he still had to get his mother’s signature to marry my aunt before he left! he was a medic. he passed in 2022, 75 years married. she survives. really loved them. great marriage.

what’s happening under the heading of “marriage” today goes ‘way beyond what folks were thinking about 75 years ago.
under the label “Christian” and any other label.

maybe mennonitemom1 will weigh in?

[Josh]

My wife and I are 6 years apart. We were both in our 30s when we got married.

I don't think age difference is particularly important. What I think is important is minimum ages to get married. I think 16 is too young to get married whether you are marrying another 16 year old or someone 26 or 36.

It used to be completely normal back when marriages were a lot stronger. It’s time to stop treating grown humans as children. I can’t think of any reason my grandparents should have waited around an extra 2 years.

You’ve mentioned you have a child, but am I assuming correctly that child is not yet a teenager?

I’m a long ways off from that.