Field Guide to Plain culture

[Heirbyadoption]

It's a long "e", probably.

[appleman2006]

It's a long "e", probably.

The last name thing is something I had never noticed before it was mentioned on here a year or so ago. I had always assumed everyone just considered their last name as part of their identity. But since then I have stopped asking for it if it is not voluntarily offered. Still seems a bit weird to me but I guess that is what different cultures are about. I do not apologise for my culture but nor do I conscientiously try to mould others into mine if I can help it.

[QuietlyListening]

For someone who is not culturally anabaptist and comes into the circle- especially by marriage- can be a bit disconcerting. I married into a Conservative Mennonite family and my name does not fit anyone's pigeon hole to place me in. In fact some even thought I was Jewish because I shared the same last name as a popular Jewish conductor. More often than not when we would visit with the larger family circle or people from my in law's church I got asked my maiden name. And as soon as they heard it they said- Oh and proceeded to either change the conversation or move on to speak with others. So the Mennonite/Anabaptist name game is probably not one of my favorite games and left me with some not so cozy feelings about trying to fit people into their slot. I understand they are trying to see if you are family or connected but there are ways to do that and not make the other person feel like they don't fit in, won't fit in or.......
So yes, the last name game is not one I am fond of.

[Ken]

For someone who is not culturally anabaptist and comes into the circle- especially by marriage- can be a bit disconcerting. I married into a Conservative Mennonite family and my name does not fit anyone's pigeon hole to place me in. In fact some even thought I was Jewish because I shared the same last name as a popular Jewish conductor. More often than not when we would visit with the larger family circle or people from my in law's church I got asked my maiden name. And as soon as they heard it they said- Oh and proceeded to either change the conversation or move on to speak with others. So the Mennonite/Anabaptist name game is probably not one of my favorite games and left me with some not so cozy feelings about trying to fit people into their slot. I understand they are trying to see if you are family or connected but there are ways to do that and not make the other person feel like they don't fit in, won't fit in or.......
So yes, the last name game is not one I am fond of.

Do people play the "Mennonite Game" in other cultures and denominations? I haven't personally encountered anything like it anywhere else but then most of my contact with other denominations has been Catholic and Baptist and those are both too big for that kind of game I think.

Both my mother and father have traditional Mennonite last names that you can find scattered around various Mennonite institutions so I can answer the question but it's never something I ask of anyone I meet. Mainly because it is so clannish.

[QuietlyListening]

Then Mennonite name game was a totally new 'thing' to me and I have never run into it anywhere but in Mennonite circles.

I remember one time 3 of us non Mennonite women having fun playing the Mennonite name game in a very mocking way as we had all encountered the same thing- what is your maiden name- oh, and on they move to someone else or some other topic. Must say we had fun playing it that one time. And guess we were the only ones who understood.

[DarkShallNotPrevail]

For someone who is not culturally anabaptist and comes into the circle- especially by marriage- can be a bit disconcerting. I married into a Conservative Mennonite family and my name does not fit anyone's pigeon hole to place me in. In fact some even thought I was Jewish because I shared the same last name as a popular Jewish conductor. More often than not when we would visit with the larger family circle or people from my in law's church I got asked my maiden name. And as soon as they heard it they said- Oh and proceeded to either change the conversation or move on to speak with others. So the Mennonite/Anabaptist name game is probably not one of my favorite games and left me with some not so cozy feelings about trying to fit people into their slot. I understand they are trying to see if you are family or connected but there are ways to do that and not make the other person feel like they don't fit in, won't fit in or.......
So yes, the last name game is not one I am fond of.

Do people play the "Mennonite Game" in other cultures and denominations? I haven't personally encountered anything like it anywhere else but then most of my contact with other denominations has been Catholic and Baptist and those are both too big for that kind of game I think.

Both my mother and father have traditional Mennonite last names that you can find scattered around various Mennonite institutions so I can answer the question but it's never something I ask of anyone I meet. Mainly because it is so clannish.

The "Mennonite Game" is definitely played in COB/BRF circles. As the child of converts, it was very awkward when peers would try to figure out who I was related to. Another friend whose family was converted and I jokingly adopted each other as cousins so we could say we had connections (which was possible, with French Canadian backgrounds in both families).

At this stage though, I've married into a family whose last name is basically Hutterian royalty, so I'm pretty much set here on out

[HondurasKeiser]

In fact some even thought I was Jewish because I shared the same last name as a popular Jewish conductor.

Barenboim?

[QuietlyListening]

No one quite that illustrious. Think Boston.

[Ernie]

I heard recently that if you ask the right 5 questions, you can make a connection with anyone in the world. Either you both know somebody in the same city. You both know the same individual. Etc.

I can't find these questions online but I'm guessing that the Mennonite game is simply a variation of this.

[barnhart]

I heard recently that if you ask the right 5 questions, you can make a connection with anyone in the world. Either you both know somebody in the same city. You both know the same individual. Etc.

I can't find these questions online but I'm guessing that the Mennonite game is simply a variation of this.

I see some truth here. The reason the conversation "moves on" when a blank is drawn could be they are simply looking for another area of connection since the last one failed.