The CAM scandal links and assorted other topics thread

[queserasera_2]

Excellent post, flyingnorm.

Forgiveness is releasing someone from your right to take vengeance upon them for their wrong.

[KirkDaniel]

A significant key to recovery is for the victim to make choices. Once the victim is choosing their response to the abuser and the abuse event, its a good sign that things are headed in a healthy direction. Reclaiming choice is a healthy balance of power that had been upset in the act of grooming and abuse. A further step in the process is to live freely with humility and kindness as a choice rather than to live powerlessly as a trapped victim.

Very nicely and thoroughly put. And I agree.

And I would add that ensuring the abuser is placed in a position where he or she cannot harm others is not the equivalent of seeking their destruction.

[KirkDaniel]

Excellent post, flyingnorm.

Forgiveness is releasing someone from your right to take vengeance upon them for their wrong.

Good point. It's also good to know that taking vengeance is not the same as disarming the abuser so they cannot harm others.

Too many survivors feel guilt for the repercussions their abusers face. That is a failure of the culture which should be supporting and protecting the victim.

[flyingnorm]

A significant key to recovery is for the victim to make choices. Once the victim is choosing their response to the abuser and the abuse event, its a good sign that things are headed in a healthy direction. Reclaiming choice is a healthy balance of power that had been upset in the act of grooming and abuse. A further step in the process is to live freely with humility and kindness as a choice rather than to live powerlessly as a trapped victim.

Very nicely and thoroughly put. And I agree.

And I would add that ensuring the abuser is placed in a position where he or she cannot harm others is not the equivalent of seeking their destruction.

And I would add that its best if impartial and just persons take the responsibility to do so. Expecting a victim to do more than make an impact statement is keeping the victim responsible for the off fall of the event.

The chaos is the responsibility of the offender.

Often the chaos is wrongfully blamed on the first person to reveal secrets.

A just and wise person should have no hesitation at taking any and all steps needed to contain an abuser in order to protect vulnerable persons.

A vulnerable person by definition is not well equipped to do much more ask for help from a just, safe, and wise person.

[KirkDaniel]

A significant key to recovery is for the victim to make choices. Once the victim is choosing their response to the abuser and the abuse event, its a good sign that things are headed in a healthy direction. Reclaiming choice is a healthy balance of power that had been upset in the act of grooming and abuse. A further step in the process is to live freely with humility and kindness as a choice rather than to live powerlessly as a trapped victim.

Very nicely and thoroughly put. And I agree.

And I would add that ensuring the abuser is placed in a position where he or she cannot harm others is not the equivalent of seeking their destruction.

And I would add that its best if impartial and just persons take the responsibility to do so. Expecting a victim to do more than make an impact statement is keeping the responsible for the off fall of the event.

A just and wise person should have no hesitation at taking any and all steps needed to contain an abuser in order to protect vulnerable persons.

A vulnerable person by definition is not well equipped to do much more ask for help from a just, safe, and wise person.

I think it is up to the victim to decide how far their participation goes, and to find the path to peace and forgiveness. And that path may shock those in a culture that know precious little about it, notwithstanding their pious exterior and the lip service they pay to it.

[silentreader]

A significant key to recovery is for the victim to make choices. Once the victim is choosing their response to the abuser and the abuse event, its a good sign that things are headed in a healthy direction. Reclaiming choice is a healthy balance of power that had been upset in the act of grooming and abuse. A further step in the process is to live freely with humility and kindness as a choice rather than to live powerlessly as a trapped victim.

Very nicely and thoroughly put. And I agree.

And I would add that ensuring the abuser is placed in a position where he or she cannot harm others is not the equivalent of seeking their destruction.

And I would add that its best if impartial and just persons take the responsibility to do so. Expecting a victim to do more than make an impact statement is keeping the victim responsible for the off fall of the event.

The chaos is the responsibility of the offender.

Often the chaos is wrongfully blamed on the first person to reveal secrets.

A just and wise person should have no hesitation at taking any and all steps needed to contain an abuser in order to protect vulnerable persons.

A vulnerable person by definition is not well equipped to do much more ask for help from a just, safe, and wise person.

"Off fall"...No criticism, sarcasm, correction, or offense intended, just down and dirty nosiness. norm, was English not your "mother tongue"?

[steve-in-kville]

"Off fall"...No criticism, sarcasm, correction, or offense intended, just down and dirty nosiness. norm, was English not your "mother tongue"?

I would often use the term "fall out." Perhaps a through-back to the Cold War. We used the term "off-fall" in wood working to describe wood scraps.

[silentreader]

"Off fall"...No criticism, sarcasm, correction, or offense intended, just down and dirty nosiness. norm, was English not your "mother tongue"?

I would often use the term "fall out." Perhaps a through-back to the Cold War. We used the term "off-fall" in wood working to describe wood scraps.

OK, it is just that it is also a transliteration that I had never heard used outside of "Pennsylvania German".
And I have heard the term used in P-G to describe wood scraps or "tailings".

[flyingnorm]

Hear the meaning of "off fall", https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/offal

I misspelled the word, offal to its original middle english spelling off fall.

Middle English and Cherman are sprisingly same, yaknow. Chakob told me so.

Yahh, ich hap datch chvetsed lang ep ich happ kenna english fashte. Smacht mich avah doch nep fiel schmaata.

[Aurien]

Very nicely and thoroughly put. And I agree.

And I would add that ensuring the abuser is placed in a position where he or she cannot harm others is not the equivalent of seeking their destruction.

And I would add that its best if impartial and just persons take the responsibility to do so. Expecting a victim to do more than make an impact statement is keeping the responsible for the off fall of the event.

A just and wise person should have no hesitation at taking any and all steps needed to contain an abuser in order to protect vulnerable persons.

A vulnerable person by definition is not well equipped to do much more ask for help from a just, safe, and wise person.

I think it is up to the victim to decide how far their participation goes, and to find the path to peace and forgiveness. And that path may shock those in a culture that know precious little about it, notwithstanding their pious exterior and the lip service they pay to it.

I agree that it's up to the victim to decide how far their participation goes. Some victims are in a better place emotionally/physically and wish to participate more than others. Whether or not a victim wishes to participate I agree that there needs to be a wise and just person or people willing to take any and all steps to protect others from the abuser.