RZehr wrote:
I believe that when a person has a desire to join a church, they have a biblical right to assistance. The church has a responsibility and privilege of helping meet their needs.
James 2:15,16
If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, depart in peace, be warmed and filled; not withstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
It is hard sometimes to know where exactly the helping should begin and end, but it is required.
Wade, one of our problems is that we don't have experience that prepares us to properly reach out to you. Most Mennonite communities are financially stable to the point that it is difficult relating to actual need. It would appear also that many Mennonites are not comfortable being asked "Why?", especially when the questioner is young or new. Why is taken as a challenge - it appears we feel threatened and become defensive so responses are inadequate.
We had a couple coming to church - they had no difficulty with the dress standards. He was financially able to buy a new suit and hat to fit the standard and she found a sister in the church who helped her with making her dresses and coverings. However they had several health issues and he could not get comfortable without life and health insurance, which made a barrier. We tried to explain our brotherhood practices but he still felt he wasn't providing for his family properly if he had no insurance to provide for them if he were to die young. Apparently we did not want to just say "Come, if that were to be the case, the church would look after your family." We were afraid, I think, that it would have looked as though we were guaranteeing to look after them in order to persuade them to join us. And of course, thrifty Mennonites would not want to encourage dependency.
These are not excuses for the situation you found yourself in but an attempt to understand our own shortcomings in these situations. We have been raised in a community and culture where we are taught self sufficiency even while having a brotherhood where we try to make a brother's cares our own. In our community, a young mother with six children would have some help with the workload.